Ok, so I'm a college student, and I've been dating someone for quite a while now. Our relationship has been wonderful, and we're both very happy with each other.
Now, sometimes when we're alone together, our kissing and hugging goes a little farther, and we move to things like some playful touching and things like that. No undressing really, we aren't having sex (we're both still virgins). But sometimes it seems like we get caught up in the moment a lot, and maybe push the boundaries a little bit. It doesn't hurt our relationship really, but we talk afterwards about how "That might have been a bit much." or things like that.
Well, the truth is, though I agree that SOMETIMES it goes a bit too far, I actually rather enjoy when it doesn't. I enjoy the playful touching. I enjoy other things besides just hugging and kissing. But I don't know how to tell her that I think that those things are ok, and that I might actually WANT those things... Any suggestions on how I should approach this? I'm not looking to have sex with her, just... be a little more playful.
YOU AND ME, BABY WE, ARE NOTHING BUT MAMMALS
SO LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO IT ON DISCOVERY CHANNEL
just ask her. be open about it and she will give you a straight answer.
You're a bit neurotic. You should get that checked.
If that's the least of your troubles, you have nothing to worry about.
>>1
Don't hesitate! If you want something more intimate just go ahead! If you don't, she'll eventually think that you have no balls and dump you.
Believe me, I had this kind of situation before. Me and my gf were still virgins. We enjoyed kissing and hugging and I wanted something more but I didn't want to scare her or as you said "change the comfortable situation that the relationship is in" so I only moved forward very slowly.
We ended up not having sex in out 10 monts of relationship and we broke up.
Thinking about it later, I wish I had more courage to step forward. I'm sure that she wanted me to "run her down".
Sex is not a "bad thing" if you love each other.
So, don't think about it... take it like Nike: JUST DO IT! ^_^
It's pretty easy: when you're together kissing and hugging where nobody can interrupt you, just begin to take her clothes off. If she really don't want it, she'll let you know. Otherwise go and make love to her!
You fear that you'll ruin the relationship if you make the step, but in fact you'll gonna ruin it if you DON'T make the step.
Rape that white bitch you nigga!
Wow the advice in here sucks.
You need to set the boundaries in your relationship. Getting caught up in the feelings of arousal WILL take your further than you want to go. Dont get caught in that trap. Keep your virginity and give it to someone who will respect you in the morning, who loves you for who you are and promises to be with you for the rest of your life.
If you have a good relationship then you should have OPEN, WIDE OPEN communication. If you can be physical with a person you can be a blunt and truthful in your conversation. You need to do this now before one day you two just go for it and your relationship falls to pieces because neither of you really wanted to go that far but your bodies were screaming for sex (because you were doing the things that build that tension and to the acts of sex).
So, tell her you need to talk. Tell her you are going to be honest with how you feel about all this and tell her too that she can be very open and honest with you about the situation. She might be going along with the touching and kissing because she thinks it is what you want. Or even vice versa. Women tend to give in the sex area because they want that closeness and yes that they that orgasm but all in all they want to be with a man who takes care of that innate need of importance, security and being loved. Anyway, TALK TO HER. Set the boundaries and talk.
seems problem currently not with her, but you. Value of virginity... you decide how much. Perhaps you feel some spiritual level about great intimacy? Explore your feelings (FO think it silly to think sex as holy,) appreciate open communication (agree on that part with >>9. Honest, but not necessarily blunt cuz you are gentleman, no?)
Rather obvious you want 'Those things,' means you healthy boy. What you afraid of? That your relation supported only by body touching, that no real love involved? Frigid Onanoko think (hope) not, but you need find out. Don't think need make intimacy topic in discussion, because you no seem to have clear ideas about solving, except setting boundaries. Boundaries useful at times, but no need to imprison self, yes? If make intimacy topic in this situation, you implicitly give responsibility about intimacy to her, and that no fair.
wishing good luck stuff like that. bye!