Let me give you some background. After 18 years, I have finally met a girl who has become a close friend. Neither she nor I have ever been in a relationship. Both of us are insanely shy. Right now, we are great friends and we understand each other, and I think it's fantastic. But the thing is, insofar as "ladders" exist we are both on each other's friend ladders. I am pretty sure that she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, so I have to half-heartedly go looking around with my other acquaintances.
It has only just occurred to me after meeting her that I don't know how friends become a couple. I've watched a lot of anime where the guy just approaches the girl and says, "I love you," but I've never heard anyone actually say that. I am skeptical that anyone could react positively to that. So, I am calling upon the wisdom of 4-chers who have been in a serious, lengthy relationship. How did it start? Were you teasing each other from the beginning, or was there a sudden change in your friendship? When did you know you had a girlfriend (or boyfriend)?
Well if you are in the friendzone, you are basically out of luck.
I got a girlfriend because within weeks of meeting her I asked her out. Then we went on first date, then the second, then third, and so on. I want to say about 2 months of dating I was with her and we met one of her friends and she introduced me as her boyfriend and I guess that is how I knew I had a girlfriend.
Maybe if you two hang out alone together more often, it'll help.
do you chat together online? have a few drinks (only works if you're both drinking, and don't get slaughtered, just take the edge off each other's inhibitions) and get a bit flirty and naughty. (disregard this if you're in a backwards country where 18 isn't the legal drinking age...) if you can't get her thinking about you sexually/romantically with a bit of bottled courage, you're basically shit outta luck. no drama, move on, try again with someone else.
>>2 has the right idea for anyone with whom you don't already have a friendship in the way
>>1 I think it comes down to finding someone else who wants the same things out of a relationship. People are at all different stages in their lives, and they all want different things. If the girl isn't wanting the kind of relationship you want, you are sunk. Move on, it isn't worth the heartbreak.
The more you know yourself and what is important to you in a relationship, the easier you will find it to spot a woman looking for the same things.
Some people can figure out what is important to them in their first relationship, others only figure it out after going through a few and discovering what was missing.
It is really hard to figure all this stuff out, after a few failed relationships it will make a lot more sense. Until then, I suggest thinking a lot about relationships around you. What makes them work, what doesn't. How the people treat each other. And most importantly, what kind of relationship you want to build.
The best examples are relationship which are working really well. Maybe your parents, or family friends. Typically other relationships of people your own age aren't a good example as they have little more understanding than yourself.
Thanks for your advice, everyone. I wish I could meet more people who want to be in a relationship with me, it would probably make things easier. But I'll make do with what I have and be more outgoing.
I would avoid the alcohol or at least large amounts. That may lead to date rape which is never good. Plus alcohol affects judgement and she may do something she will regret in the future.
to be a couple... youve got to love each other, which means the both of you are qualified! But of course thats not really the "love" you're looking for in a relationship. If you want to make this friend your girlfriend... you've got to love her more than a friend.
So you've just started out as plain friends... was that your intention from the start? just plain friends?
having a few drinks with someone doesn't mean getting absolutely shit-faced. if someone can't tell the two apart, they have bigger problems than seducing their friend.
I am worried he will become desperate and do something stupid.
it's not your business to worry; it's his own life and he needs to take some responsibility. if he can't do that, it's no failing on your part, and not your fault.
Are you guys talking about me? Thanks for your concern, 7. I actually have considered doing that, because recently I am absolutely starving for sex. But I do have some sense of morality; I don't think I would ever carry out that sort of plan.
The way I look at it if you get put in the "friend zone"there has to be a way out of it If you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything,If you can get in the friend Zone then you can get out of it.
I'm afraid it doesn't quite work that way #9,whoever told you that if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything left out one sentence.If you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything IF IT HAS POTENTIAL.So do you think that if you put your mind to bringing back the dead that you can actually do it?well once you're put in the "friend zone"getting out of it is like trying to get back into a plane after you jump out or taking a model airplane apart after the glue set up and dried,sorry pal you're dead in the water.
> How did it start?
We had been good friends for maybe a month when I just said "I like you" and asked her out. It worked.
It is possible to jump off the friend's ladder. Just very dangerous.
My boyfriend and I started out as friends. Spend alot of time with her, after a bit, just tell her you like her.
Only tell her that when you're really close friends though. Otherwise it might end up kinda weird. :/
okay I have a problem. Ive known this girl for a couple years now and I am begining to like her again. When we first met she liked me after a month of hanging out but she had a boy friend. Time went by and eventually things got out that she liked me. Alot of drama happened and she eventually dumped her b/f. She told me they were plannin to. A month goes by and nuthin happens between us at all and she ends up goin out with this other guy so we stop talking. Then two months go by and then she texts me out of no where. A week later she dumps her b/f. WE start hangin like we used to and again later on in the year she goes off and is with another guy. Then once again she texts me randomly a week before she breaks up with him. So I know when shes gunna break up with some one now haha. I ignored her after this though and we didn't talk the whole summer. I then see here at a party this year and we start talking. This time she texts me and calls me alot more than before and always asks to hang out, go to parties etc. I dont know if while I have these moments I should try things or is this just another cycle of our "close" friendship. I havent like her thorugh out those other two times but now for some reason I feel the same way I did when I first met her.
Okay so here is the story of how I got my first girlfriend.
I was going to Spanish class and there was this insanely cute girl and I knew her sister who was a retard, and I joked once that she doesn't seem as retarded as her sister. She run away crying and never talked to me again. I was sitting next to some fairly average girl out of chance, and she told me I should apologize because she thinks we match with that girl.
Well, so I never got the courage to apologize but we got very good friends with this second girl. We just talked, then at the end of the day talked more, then she had to go home but we didnt want to stop talking so she invited me to her room, we drank tea and talked... This went on for months, I didn't really find her good looking but I heard she loves me.
The she told me she has a boyfriend who always falls asleep right after having an orgasm while they have sex, and his penis is so narrow she can hardly feel a thing. Yes we were able to talk openly about everything. I really pitied her then and I got worried that my penis is so small too, so I pulled down my pants and asked her if mine is any bigger.
Her eyes sparkled and she said yes it's much bigger and she would love to have sex with me, and I felt she really deserved a decent sex partner so I said ok. We had sex I was really horny because I havent fapped since a week by then and it was awesome for me, and she said it felt good for her too.
This was my first time with a girl. She told me she wants to do it more so we went hiking for the weekend and basically we had sex all weekend in a tent. After this she dumped her boyfriend but it took months until we showed any sign of being together in public. I was nervous because I thought she's not very pretty. But one day some guy at the movie asked if we want a "double seat" for me and my GF, and I smiled and said yes proudly. Because he seemes jealous or seemed to like her, that gave me the i have such a girlfriend
>>19
Just push her out and be evasive. It might stop everything if she's not interested at all (in which case you save yourself some stress and drama), or it might just make her want you. Looks like this kind of girl.
Careful though, they're usually drama addicts.
>>1
you should masturbate to that girl, right in front of her.
lmao