Print out and memorise:

You: Hi there.
Her: Hi. awkward silence.
You: Say, I've been posting letters here for a while, and I was thinking...I would really like to take this relationship further.
Her: Uh..I already said no.
You: Today is opposite day. It must be. No girls have refused me so blatantly before. It makes me want you all the more.
Her: Blush.
You: I will never stop asking until you say yes. Here, I have something for you. Take out letter.
Her: A..love letter?
You: Yes, a love letter.
Her: Swoons from your old fashion courting.
You: I want you to deliver it to this special person. Turn over letter so that her name is showing. Seal it and stamp it for me please.
Her: Licks envelop slowly and provocatively. I'll make sure she gets it. Does it by any chance, have a return address?
You: I won't let you send it back. Please don't dent my pride.
Her: I mean, so that I..she..can return the love back to the sender.
You: Oh sure. In that case the address is: 1 In Your Pants, YOUR HOME, 53X1.
Winkwink
Her: Giggles. Take me to the address after my shift. BlushBlush.
You: Indeed.