So I have an ongoing situation that is hard to explain...

I have sexual preferences that are making it difficult to find both relationships and/or agreeable sex partners. I'm bisexual, but I prefer women. However, I only prefer women provided they are very unfeminine... meaning, not "girly", very thin with small breasts, and generally more male/boyish than girl. As for men, I can only enjoy sex with men imagining that I'm another man having gay sex. Heterosexual sex is highly unattractive to me; I can't watch heterosexual porn without feeling very disgusted.

I guess what I'm saying is that I identify more as a gay man than anything, and that I look for "male" characteristics in women. I'm not trying to transgender necessarily; while I recognize I am a woman, I feel like a man trapped in a woman's body. It might be also helpful to say I am not attracted to someone based on their genitals/sex.

The point of all this is it makes it very difficult to have enjoyable sex.... in the last two relationships I've had, my boyfriend couldn't deal with the whole pretending to have gay sex, and immediately afterward sex became less frequent, less loving, and more awkward.

I feel guilty, because I believe open communication is essential for a healthy relationship and sex life. But should I just keep my sexual preferences to myself? Or should I hope that my next partner doesn't mind a bit of pretend?