Strange sexual preferences? (6)

1 Name: did : 2006-11-09 23:48 ID:GlDMlDOq

So I have an ongoing situation that is hard to explain...

I have sexual preferences that are making it difficult to find both relationships and/or agreeable sex partners. I'm bisexual, but I prefer women. However, I only prefer women provided they are very unfeminine... meaning, not "girly", very thin with small breasts, and generally more male/boyish than girl. As for men, I can only enjoy sex with men imagining that I'm another man having gay sex. Heterosexual sex is highly unattractive to me; I can't watch heterosexual porn without feeling very disgusted.

I guess what I'm saying is that I identify more as a gay man than anything, and that I look for "male" characteristics in women. I'm not trying to transgender necessarily; while I recognize I am a woman, I feel like a man trapped in a woman's body. It might be also helpful to say I am not attracted to someone based on their genitals/sex.

The point of all this is it makes it very difficult to have enjoyable sex.... in the last two relationships I've had, my boyfriend couldn't deal with the whole pretending to have gay sex, and immediately afterward sex became less frequent, less loving, and more awkward.

I feel guilty, because I believe open communication is essential for a healthy relationship and sex life. But should I just keep my sexual preferences to myself? Or should I hope that my next partner doesn't mind a bit of pretend?

2 Name: yugge!!0S8sYvnb : 2006-11-10 06:57 ID:I2PMEhVS

Wow....that must be hard for you. I don't know what to say...

I don't believe you should have a partner who needs pretending to enjoy sex with you. Because as you have noticed, sex does mean a lot for a relationship, believe it or not, and if that is not shared pleasure...

All I can say is to keep your eyes open for a girl/guy that fits your sexual preferences, who you'll fit in too. There are bisexual guys out there searching for girls that don't mind "gay sex" (I for one). Lesbians would be a safe bet too, as long as it fits your needs.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-04 05:25 ID:qVvn1Lwi

You need to decide on one gender you prefer to have sex with and not flipflop.

4 Name: fart man : 2007-01-04 10:19 ID:wBKaXI1g

if i were ur boyfriend, i didnt care about u having sex with women, but "I prefer women" would be a problem.
And if u prefer women, why do u have to worry this? because u should have got a "girlfriend", not a boyfriend in the first place.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-04 20:01 ID:Heaven

>>3
Not really. Ever heard of bisexuals? or pansexuals?

>>1
Now, I'm not saying you're wrong to feel the way you are, or that in any way invalidates the way you feel, but can you think of any reason for why you find straight action (as opposed to homosexual action of either gender) disgusting? Some people subconsciously get too hung up on "power struggles" etc in society, and unconsciously try to opt out of that whole "heterosexual" "mindfuck relationship style" (even though it isn't, really).
And I think you need to try to find a bisexual boyfriend, if you're going to go for a guy. A bisexual guy who enjoys pseudo-gay sex, though beware of that that usually includes also enjoying straight sex (i.e. he'll be likely to want both "gay" and 'straight' sex with you). Open communication IS essential for a healthy relationship and sex life, however how the communication is phrased matters as well... Some people (I'm not saying you do it that way) phrase things very badly, making them feel like attacks, or making the partners feel inadequat.

It seems as if you feel a bit concered over that you "need" to have sex with guys, your post is a tad contradictory. You prefer male-style females, but yet you feel your biggest problem is guys? Either way, you need a bisexual partner who enjoys experimenting, and remember that partnership is about accomodating both of the partner's needs, not just your own - but most importantly body language will instantly reveal if you're trying to fake things, so don't fake things, but do try to get into the spirit of things.
Good luck.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-08-25 19:11 ID:VjYuuN5Y

Seattle, Denver, SanFransicso, Vancouver, Toronto, New York City, Chicago, Detroit and Washington DC are ...FULL... of people like you.
So is Europe.
I guess that makes you... "Human" ~.~ Welcome to Earth.

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