Well this is just another "help please" thread. I know, I feel a little dirty, but it's how things goes.
/love/ for me is a new territory, I've been in /ascii/ and /dqn/ and been a regular there. Whatever, the fact is: I just don't know what to do.
First of all: male, 17, had a lot of other dates and gfs. A normal socially active latin american. Yes, that's why such a bad english... I'll push myself, but no promises.
A friend of mine from childhood, about two months ago, said that loves me. It was kinda like:
She: "I love you..."
Me: "And I love you too!" happy friendly smile
She: "No, I LOVE YOU"
Me: "!?" scared face
And since then, let's just say that we're having a special friendship =)
Theeeen comes the real problem: another girl. I've been her friend for about 3 months, starting from the casual "Hello" until the "please enter on my bank acc to check something to me, here's my password". Yes, we're this close. And last week she kissed me. And since then we're having a special friendship TOO.
I feel bad for my friend(Fernanda) from childhood, like I'm cheating on her or something. I love her, and always want to be at her side, but on the new girl(Isabelle) I feel a lot more from the ecstasy of the love. I'm always trying to go after her and call her to dates and stuff. And we always get ourselves laughing from the same things and smiling to eachother. And I'm feeling that now is the time to do something, before I lose both...
Should go after fernanda and stay with her or try this new passion, even if this means losing a childhood friend for an uncertain gf?
I'm lost...
I would stay with Fernanda. Uncertainties are always exciting for the moment, but in the end it is nice to just be with the one you have always known is certain to love and adore you. She is the type that will be good to you and take care of you.
These uncertain women are fickle, don't know what they want. So, say you choose her instead of Fernanda but in a few months the passion has turned cold and she leaves. You would have foolishly let Fernanda get away and this uncertain girl is long gone. Then you are all alone...
No one here can answer that question, you have a ten billion times greater understanding of who these girls are and who you are than us. Following the advice of one of us is foolish and dangerous.
But don't wait too long. Sort out your feelings, ask yourself "ten years from now, what choice will I regret making?"
If you answer "I'll regret letting my best soul match, Fernanda, escape from me because I was lustful for another", then there is your answer.
If you answer "I'll regret letting the spice and joy of my love, X, pass me by because I was too afraid to harm a friend who only remained a friend", then there is your answer again.
Make your choice with as much wisdom as you can, so that you will not regret it, no matter what the outcome. At least then you will know that you did your best and followed your heart.
Go with Topanga.
well... only more confused...
I met Isabelle on my lunch now. We talked about somethings, and then kissed. Well, I'm still thinking about her, even if I needed to study literature for the exams tonight... she just took off all my attention and I just can't stop thinking about her... It's not like that with Fernanda, even when we're on the hottest moment ever, when we're done, we're just friends after all... Maybe I should let Fernanda go find her real mate and try with Isabelle. But probably I'll regret after a couple of months when the passion will be over... or not...
Hell, I'm getting tired of it...
yes i agree, only you can answer that question yourself, as we do not know who they really are in person, you have to decide who you really want to be with and who is really better for you in the long run.. i have a similar problem. this girl(Girl1) i used to go to highschool with, we didnt really go out or anything but we had good time i guess.. then i started going out with a different girl(Girl2), Girl2 and i have been going out for 2 years now, first year was great, second year i started to feel that she didnt love me anymore and i started to feel pushed away by her all the time.. now in the mean time Girl1 tried her best to keep in contact with her.. i'll be honest, she was my first love but i never had enough courage to ask her out so i messed that up. anyways, every now and then girl1 will call me but i usually dont know how to react after i am already going out with Girl2.. Girl2 and i are not doing so well so i am wondering if i should break up with Girl2 and go with Girl1 who was my first love and i have never forgotten about her in my life, even tho i am going out with Girl2,i still dream about Girl1. so any help would be appriciated.
hey sorry flake, i dont intend to divert the attention to me from you questions.. just thought we were in the same shoes
>>gerard
and that's probably how I'd feel in the future. =)
But in your case, you can just go and talk to her. You know what exactly you feel and the only thing you need is a little push to go outside and say
what I say? Go for it man! You'll won't lose anything...
for me? a lost case...
I think the reason you are still thinking of isabelle is because you are thinking with your dick. she did kiss you last and so you are feeling more attracted to her because of the kiss. try to avoid both of them and then if you are thinking of one more than the other go with her. also try to find out which one likes you more and is willing to make more sacrifices for you.
>>8
not dick thought... even because Fernanda is hotter than Isabelle...
Bu the idea of avoiding can be very good... I guess I'll try it...
since you are 17(much too young to be settling for one girl) you should explore your feelings for Isabelle..(break it off with Fernanda)Sounds to me that your feelings for Isabelle are more than friendship..or at least the friendship that you feel for Fernanda. I don't think either one of them should make sacrifices for you.