I work with this young woman who recently broke off with her long time boyfriend. She and I have become friends, and about every other weekend we have a movie/game night at her apartment and chat until midnight or so before I leave.
What I'm trying to figure out is if my friend wants to have sex with me, or if I'm reading something horrifically wrong.
One of games we played was one of those "Questions and Answers" games, and one of the questions what the oddest item inside our wallet/purse is. She wouldn't open her purse, but practically snatched my wallet away and dug through it-the way I know of a woman being that interested in wallets is when they're looking for condoms.
She’s talked about how sex is almost a physical need for her after not getting any. She's talked about the first time she shaved her pubes and that she now just keeps them trimmed. There were other little things that have come up sexual in nature, but never outright stating that she wants some from me. During one of our movie nights we snuggled against each other for a bit but neither of us moved any further than that. She's also spent fifteen minutes on the floor trying to get her cat out from under her bed to leave me sitting by staring at her butt. Again I didn't do anything because I didn't want her to hit her head on the underside of her bed if grabbing her butt would surprise her. She's also asked me if I was gay (I'm not), and quickly amended by stating it was alright if I were and she'd still be my friend (?)
Some weeks ago I told her I thought I might be falling for her and that we should spend less time with each other. She revealed then that she’d dumped her boyfriend to chase our other co-worker (for several weeks before she told all the guys she wasn't interested in him because he was a player while telling the girls she was) and was also when she stated I'm too good for her (if anyone cares to elaborate on what that means feel free.
During an e-mail correspondence a few days later I told her that I needed to talk to her face-to-face (I wanted to tell her face-to-face that, after looking at my emotions after we spoke and mentally going over my psychology lessons I realized I wasn't falling for her, but was rather confusing the enjoyment I felt from spending time with her as romantic interest). In one of her replies she stated she was feeling the same pressure from me as she felt with her ex when he asked her the if she wanted to be friends-with-benefits with her. I laughed at her wording because it looked like she let slip that she was interested in "more than friendship" with me, to which she became embarrassed and mad. After several angry emails I got pissed at her, told her in text form exactly what I wanted to tell her face-to-face, and that if she wanted to be friends fine, if not whatever. The next day when we saw each other at work I didn't speak to her, and the following day she came to me and asked if I still wanted to come over for a movie night again. I told her I would, but not this or next week, and we now have our first movie night since that incident next week.
From this it sounds like she may/may have been interested in friendly benefits. On the other hand whenever I tease her with something that sounds like I'm interested she'll waggle her finger at me and look at me with a cross between "naughty boy" and "don't go there". This was before our email exchange. Then last night she revealed to everyone she’s not dating anyone and is letting a mutual friend set her up on a blind date.
Quite honestly, I don't know if she's interested in a sexual friendship, if she’s playing me, or WHAT. I'm nervous about broaching the subject because she's one of the only friends I have, and I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship like I did before.
Suggestions anyone?
If I were in your shoes, during movie night while you are cuddling I would straight up ask her "DO YOU WANT TO FUCK?" If she says no or something else then just easily play it off like you were kidding. I don't see a girl like her flipping out over a question like that.
PROTIP: Don't put condoms in your wallet. They'll be ruined.
just do it
who cares
You know, why don't you just ask her out? Date her for a bit, saying that "I'd just like to try it out. Maybe we really are meant for eachother" adn see how it goes. You never know. If it does go well, you'll be happy that you're already close to her. If not, then you can just go back to being friends because you already stated you were just trying the dating thing out.