Well, I've found a girl who is probably the exact image of what I have, all along, considered the ideal woman. The only problem? She's not legally a woman yet, as I'm sure you guessed from the title.
I've been trying to forget about her, but my adoration of her is already to the point where I can't find fault in her and she runs through my mind almost every few minutes. If only she were a little bit older, I wouldn't feel so bad about this infatuation, but as it is it pains the hell out of me knowing that there is nothing I can do about this.
What's more, I know that she is at least interested in me. She's a very quiet girl, yet she's always willing to talk me, and others have even made me aware of the fact that I'm the only person she has opened up to.
I'm not exactly the type of guy that is popular (or confident) with the ladies. Hell, I've never even kissed a girl before, and I'm in freakin' college. So, from my perspective, this may be the only girl I'll ever have a chance with. She's already the only girl who has initiated conversation with me.
So, what should I do? Wait a few years and hope nobody swoops her up before then? Forget about her and hope maybe she has a slightly older clone?
Yeah, kinda weird question, I know. But I had to ask someone, and it just felt impossible ask anyone I knew without them viewing me in a very different (and darker) light.
Well, how much younger is she? I have been in that situation many times, as the younger female under the consent. I think in most states you can still date her, but you cannot have sex with her. So, maybe you can be patient and wait for her physically.
My parents never really made an issue about me dating an older man as long as they approved and he was not too old, the rule was nobody older than my brother. So, no gap larger than five years until I was 18.
So, maybe you should see what her parents think. Sure, it is not the law but it is better to have their approval first. I think that there is a lot of hope for you if you can win their approval and you keep your relationship private from the public.
Ah, so, I can still date her but not have sex... that's a pretty good deal, actually. I don't really think about her in the sexual sense so much as the romantic sense, so that wouldn't be such a big deal.
Still, asking her parents if I can date her might be a bit... strange. Not that I think they hate me or anything, it's just that they'd probably be very uncomfortable with the idea (about as uncomfortable as I would be asking them). They aren't exactly the most open-minded individuals.
Should I let her, the girl I'm pinning over, know how I feel? Should I just ask her if she feels anything for me, so I can know whether it's worth it to play the Questionable Legality Dating Game? Or do you think that would scare her away?
How much of a difference is there?
Yes, tell us the age difference please. No more answers until we hear that first.
No, I'll give you a brief answer:
If you are over 19 and/or she is under 17, then you are treading on DANGEROUSLY thin ice.
If you want to have a relationship with this girl, the first thing you must make youself realize is that, legally, she is probably still considered a child, while you are not.
Think about that for a moment.
Next, if you are even gonna have a friendship with her, you better make sure her parents know about you, as they will demand to meet you. Face it, you ARE older than her. If they are any sort of parent they will not be thrilled with the idea of their baby girl meeting with an older guy.
WHEN you meet then, you'd best amp down the adoration and be honest and up-front to all of their questions. How you met her, what your intentions are (with you'd better fib about if you're interested in her romantically...hmm...on second thought, you'd best lie about anything relating to sex, romance, etc.). Don't be a PERFECT gentleman (nothing sets-up radar more than someone who is acting PERFECT--because it's always an act), but don't be a jerk. Just be a goofy nice guy or yourself.
Now then, I also must advise AGAINST a relationship with this girl if she is under 17. All you're doing is asking for trouble.
tell us the age difference first
Well, she's 16 and I'm 21. But, don't worry, I've decided to forget about it. If in two years I still haven't found someone legal (which I'm willing to bet on), then I'll go back to her. Hopefully by then she will not have changed drastically.
>>9
If she's changed drastically in two years, in a way you dislike, then it was damned good that you let her go, as you two would have split up had you gotten together.
Two years isn't such a bad wait, but if you like her as much as you say be sure to keep in contact even if she finds someone else because so much changes in two years.
Where do you live? If you live in Canada, Great Britain, about half of US states, or much of Australia the age of consent is 16. In many other countries it's 14 to 16. It might not be a legal problem, per se.
Take a look at this:
http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
That law is to prevent people from taking advantage of younger girls...if you really like her and she likes you, the age difference shouldn't matter, just go for it
>>That law is to prevent people from taking advantage of younger girls...if you really like her and she likes you, the age difference shouldn't matter, just go for it
In court, it's not going to matter how good or bad your intentions are. If you had sex with an underage girl five years younger than you, you're going to get in trouble for it.
Well, it really does not matter anymore because he said he decided to give up on her.
Who's going to get you to court? The girl? (btw I don't live in the USA, so I have no idea about how the legal system works there, just wondering)
>>16
The American legal system promotes, to limited degrees, neighborhood watchdog efforts (not to be confused with vigilantes). That is, any interested party is able to note such a thing to authorities if they'd like. Please do not compare this to Big Brother, as there's a huge difference between thoughtcrime and breaking a law. :P
As for the AOC... a previous poster was right, most states don't disallow such a thing. For instance, Florida? 16-24 is legal, so by the time you turn 24 she'll be 19, which is legal.
I'd be more concerned about the differences in social status (junior in high school dating a junior in college) than the legalities. I don't know if you could make such a thing work out.
well u r 21 and she is 16,and u like her so much. it doesnt sound any strange to me since a thing like this happens quite often around me. i guess u worry too much
Lol my GF is 4 years old and she is a dog, so you dont have any trouble at all man..
>>20
well, he wants to have sex with the girl, thats all he worries about. u dont have sex with ur dog unless u have a special interest in ur dogs ass
dont worry about anything. u just keep her mouth full with ur dick
>>1 Just keeps being friends with her, don't forget about it. From what you say you seem like you not really know her all that long. You dont go from being friend/acquaintance to gf/bf. But don't act like her older brother, you will lose it then. Speaking of which, are you sure the girl isnt just seeing you as an older brother? Coz just because she talks to you or open up to you doesn't mean she likes you in that way (I know coz I assumed that before and now blessed enlightenment).
>>1
it's 15 here where i live. 14 is ok in most cases, but you have to wait until she is 15 before getting married.
it's 16 for girls in japan. 20 for boys.
Europe and USA, it's fucking stupid is what i can say.
Talk to her parents, see if they can give you a break eventhough it's against the local law.
But you shouldn't break up with her just because she is too young, you should stay with her.
dont worry about her age, she wont sue anyway..
>>1 Date the girl, but don't have sex with her. the age difference is really on the edge.
but yea, first of all make sure you know her well. and also... how are you going to date a 16 year old girl. they are so immature that it hurts my eyes...
>>1 Date the girl, but don't have sex with her. the age difference is really on the edge.
but yea, first of all make sure you know her well. and also... how are you going to date a 16 year old girl. they are so immature that it hurts my eyes...
Good luck buddy. You're asking for trouble! She doesn't even know how to be a woman, yet you already see her as one. You won't be able to make her into what you want her to be. Find a woman!!! Please. Don't throw your career, reputation, family, etc. down the drain for her.
GO FOR IT. That you are the only one she has opened up to pretty much tells the story.
u can have sex with her. and ditch her if u didnt like her. the only problem here is her age, but she will not sue u or anything, unless u rape her.
my advice is that u be careful with her parents. shes only 16. and parents hate guys who r mature, in terms of their age, and "seduce"(even though their daughters raped guys, theyd take it this way)their little daughter.
be careful, they r watching u.
:\
I'd say that if she's in love with you, go for it since you obviously are in love with her.
Age is but a blaha blaha.
What I really worry about is that perhaps you're putting her on a pedestal a bit much, I mean, Ideal Woman? Are you out for her looks or are you really in love with her?
Get friendly with her, I say. If you're a pair that could really be toghether, it'll come naturally. That's what I'd say. Being friends is a great way of getting to know each other. And it's a good way of measuring if you two have what it takes to actually be in a love relationship.
So yeah.
be careful, but don't ditch her completely either, it'll just haunt you :\
Also, it probably depends on where you live. And in what way she's 16. I'd say that 16 could mean both a very grown-up mentality and some bad infantility. So yeah, again, being friends with her would be nice to determine.
And also, you're on completely different points in your life (supposedly), so that might cause problems. You'd know best. I mean, you'd be the one with the money and the job, which would make her dependent on you. And such things suck, I mean, she'd want a life too. So don't you get stuck in that kind of mess.
Cheers :D
>she'd want a life too
If that happens, just walk away man, that woman will not able to be happy anywhere. She'll join the 30 something "empowered" single women army that is out there. And they are not happy.
>>36
Wow how mean. I know a bunch of those women and they are hot.
It's not like the sex police are going to jump in at you. But I'd like to warn you that if the parents of either party disapproves....