alone again (7)

1 Name: warez otoko : 2006-12-26 21:06 ID:pD8zFi2k

Hi everyone.
I had a sort of love story, my first (I'm 25). It started on some chat, 4 months ago. We live 400 km away from each other. We managed to meet 9 or 10 times, we even ended out cuddling in bed during the last 2 meetings.
Now it's over, I'm about to terminate it myself, mainly because of my deep unsatisfaction: I like her but I feel such a big need for love, that a distance relationship could never fill.
And also I'm psychologically drained by her constant depression: she's even more lonely than me, she doesn't even have a single friend, not even online, I thought such a situation couldn't possibly exist for a girl. I feel so sorry for her, but I can't take it anymore, I cannot imagine me living with a person which is always so sad.
I also think that she stayed with a shit man like me just out of desperation. I did the same thing towars her after all, no one would start a distance relationship with these premises if he had valid alternatives... we are both desperated for love, that's also why I'm terminating the relationship.
It's so difficult to do in my situation, I could drag the dead horse around just for the hugs and kisses... but I can't allow this to go on.
So I'm alone again. 25 y.o. and one stupid 4 months story. I fear I'll never taste human warmth again. I'm such a shit, and I think that staying with such a desperate person may have hurt my self esteem instead of helping it.
For a true geek like me there's no love to be expected in this life, I have zero social skills, my few friends are about to marry... maybe I should move to the moon, that would be most appropriate for me.
Thanks for listening to my rant.

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