So I told it all... (4)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-31 01:23 ID:Vn2EC2K1

Dear 4-ch. I'm a 17 (almost 18) year old girl. I've been in love with a dear friend of mine for months (around 8) and while I feel like he's been dropping hints, nothing has happened, for he's seeing someone already. Partially, despite the few successes when it comes to online dating, I feel totally silly for liking someone so much who's geeky face I've only seen pictures of, and only heard his voice on the phone. (But, hey, to that key his girlfriend is online too.) Alas, nothing has stopped my heart from loving this person and man... unrequited love really REALLY hurts.

So after spending my winter break feeling like a hikkikomori locked up in her room watching anime, I finally broke yet again over this situation. And after shedding more tears, I talked to him about it all, and much more clearly put my feelings onto the table. I told him how much I loved him and how unchangeable it felt and how I just wished to have a chance with him.

Well. Not much could happen since he is seeing someone and isn't the sort to hop from girlfriend to girlfriend. But I did it. And I don't feel silly about it anymore. If anything... this emptyness I've been feeling is filling up.

What now, 4-ch? I'm scared I'll yet again become so dearly attached to him and feel lonely again, but as silly as it may sound, I can't really (and don't really) want to stop talking to him. He's been very important to me...

So how can this girl cope completely with just having this guy as a friend? And how can she get over her shyness to get out there and meet new people? Forums and whatnot haven't been cutting it lately, and offline is just if not more difficult.

I live in NYC and will be going to college next year. Should I just try and hang in there until I move out on my own and experience this new chapter of life? (I'll be staying in the city, btw..) Does it really get better? I'm sure I'll be okay in other aspects, but when it comes to companionship, I really can't take the loneliness a lot of the time.

I really just needed someone to go to and 4-ch is good for this. Thanks.

tl;dr - I just spilled my guts to a friend I really love and don't have much of a chanc for good? Thnx.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-31 02:08 ID:HNWucpz/

First off, what did he say about it all?

Also, you're almost 18 living in New York- there is no reason why you should be focused on just one dude.
Yes, yes love is grand but you're so young! I know it's hard to be a hikkikomori and try and have relationships. You just have to be willing to risk rejection, which sounds like your main problem (putting off a confession for 8 months? yikes!)
I'll say more later, I guess.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-31 02:37 ID:Vn2EC2K1

>>2

Yeah. I know I shouldn't be so focused on someone... but I really haven't been able to get over him before. ^^; And, I should've mention it before, but that was the fourth time or so I actually admitted I loved him. Just the first time I wasn't all "uwaaa blushblush" about it.

One of the reasons I probably stayed so into him was because, after the first time, whenever I admitted it to him it sounded like his feelings for me increased. I stopped seeming like a friend or sister, and seemed more like that someone he could date, though generally was unsure what he thought of me.

His reaction to what I said was the usual "I'm sorry, there's better people out there" and yadda yadda. He did admit, if he werent seeing anyone, he would give me a chance. Though that would probably be partially out of pity. --;

I don't think I'm scared about rejection, really. I hate it, especially in this case, but usually if I liked someone at some point I tell them and get it out of the way. But with this guy, telling him hasn't led me to stopping the feelings...
...Hopefully now it will.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-12-31 03:02 ID:HNWucpz/

>>3

>>but that was the fourth time or so I actually admitted I loved him

OK, sorry thread over. If you've told him your feelings this many times and it's still causing heartache, it's pretty obvious he doesn't want you as his significant other. You guys may be really close, but I suggest moving on.

>>I'm sorry, there's better people out there

Truth

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