First off, what did he say about it all?

Also, you're almost 18 living in New York- there is no reason why you should be focused on just one dude.
Yes, yes love is grand but you're so young! I know it's hard to be a hikkikomori and try and have relationships. You just have to be willing to risk rejection, which sounds like your main problem (putting off a confession for 8 months? yikes!)
I'll say more later, I guess.