he loves me but he always kick, slap, spit, and punch me... (41)

21 Name: L.O.V.E.S.U.C.K.S : 2007-01-09 15:23 ID:ZOIGTE8E

i need help. i don't have many friends to help me, motivate me, or support me. you know, to get rid of a guy who always be with you for five years is not an easy thing to do. i tried many ways before. yes, he is a bad tempered guy. but you know, when he treats me good, i feel like i'm the luckiest girl in the world... i think, dat's how he manage to let me stay with him. Actually, all of my friends and even my parents don't know about this. For them, i am a beautiful, cheerful and a lively girl.I have rock band, i don't smoke and drink, i can cook, i am intelligent, i don't party or clubbing,i know many things about computer, music, books, or even literature... Most of my friends admire me. BUT they don't know when it comes to love, i'm a BIG LOSER. they don't know the pain and grudge that i keep inside me, behind my smile... One more thing about me (that help my bf to take advantage on me), i am easy to forgive and forget. You know, when he beat me, and the second after that he's being kind to me, i will definitely forgive him... and that's so fucking pathetic, rite? I always tell him, how lucky he is to have a cold heart.... i wish i will be as strong as everyone else. Every morning when i wake up, i will tell myself to forget him...but then he will come to my house, treat me nicely as there are nothing is going on. I realize how stupid and foolish i am right now... but what can i do? i hope, somewhere out there, there will be a guy who can love me... and i wish that i will have the gut to leave him FOREVER.

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