Your Opinion: Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? (22)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-26 15:42 ID:Heaven

Well, what's your opinion? Is it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?

Also, does this only apply to active love, when you're going out and are a recognised couple, or do crushes apply as well?

As for me, I've never been in active love, but I have been in love. I think that it was a good feeling to experience, no matter if I "lost" it, or not.

2 Name: cocoapuffs : 2007-01-26 20:14 ID:xXKRTySn

I agree with you. I have never been in an 'active relationship' but I have loved someone deeply. Because of the past attraction I had for this person, it was easy for me to develop a meaningful friendship and I haven't looked back ever since. I couldn't imagine not even liking a person for the fear of losing them. Live in the happiness of the moment, don't worry about the future.

3 Name: Newoz : 2007-01-26 21:09 ID:Heaven

>>2
Same story here.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-27 13:52 ID:Heaven

Saging your own thread, nice.

When you say "active love", you mean mutual?
Well, I can't say I've truly loved.
So...I guess you don't miss what you don't have.

5 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2007-01-28 02:05 ID:dZPtx1X0

I remember falling in love. What I thought was the perfect girl....nice, sweet, gorgeous.....I did what I've never done before, Everytime she was near my heart would pump louder and faster. When I thought about her, I was given strength to actually do things I couldn't.. In the end I was only rejected. Was it love for me though? I felt the pain....Does that count?
I've had one girlfriend in my entire life so far but it was a long-distance/internet type thing. I know her in person so it wasn't awkward. Even though it was through emails, I still felt that "love aroma" around. When I found out she was interested in another guy, I just let her go. I cried just as before when I had been heartbroken.
It seems that I can't do anything if it involves being face-to-face, when I'm not seen I can accomplish the things I hope to do with the girl I like......
Now here I am, lonelier than ever. I'm in highschool and all I ever wanted out of it was a Highschool sweetheart. The one thing that truly makes "the best years of our lives". All around the girls on campus.....I don't feel the "spark" I felt before. But I'm tempted to get a girlfriend because I'm unhappy. I pretend to feel happy yet inside I'm aiching. I don't know what to do. Faith is taking so long....And when it comes....it's gonna break my heart. I'm not emo, I'm not crazy. I'm an otaku who just isn't the type of guy girls would be fond of. And when they are, they tend to find someone better looking.....Only 2 more years till I graduate, and I don't count on seeing "my true love" anytime soon. Looks like Prom's gonna be one Hell of an experience.

6 Name: fart man : 2007-01-28 03:31 ID:ypCDBx73

>>5
dont worry too much man. ull find the very best girl sooner or later.

7 Name: TokyoJapan22 : 2007-01-28 05:02 ID:dZPtx1X0

>>6
................

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-28 16:49 ID:Heaven

>>1
I have had the rare experience to be never in love.
If you read the sentence above, it doesn't make any sense, not even being in love is never an experience. But either way that is true. Due to some factors, mostly my own fault i really never became interested with someone. I only imagine that liking someone must be great and all.

9 Name: warez otoko : 2007-01-28 20:43 ID:u2Yq/X5U

My only "relationship" lasted only 2/3 months, and it was.. beautiful.
I ended it, and I'm sure it was a correct decision, there were serious issues(and the long distance)... but still -considering my incurable loneliness- it was the most absurd thing I could ever do.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-01-29 02:45 ID:Heaven

>>5
I've read your threads before mate.

Protip: Don't try so hard with love at your age. If it comes, it comes (happens when you least expect it). Otherwise, you should be enjoying yourself with mates and making the best of your childhood.

11 Name: Newoz : 2007-02-03 04:22 ID:Heaven

I once fell in love, around 9th grade (fresh XD). A few words to describe its plotline: Introduction: The Group "Grupito", First Contact: Old Lover's Letter, Discovery: Messenger Assault, ISS Sunrise, Cold December, Experiment, The Silence, The broken sky, Black July, The Blank Ending, Post Mortem ...

Yeah, well, I could say that I dumped her because of my own faults. I was stupid enough to dump the girl most guys would die for o_O beautiful, slim, cute, literate, etc. Why did I escape? Seriously, I escaped from her because I was so afraid of going into a black hole by just being with her. And, before I say anything else, we were quite close, and I could bet a lot that she was MAD for me, but I never, or rather face-to-face, asked her to: "expand our relation, to an upper level". I was just a misunderstood emo-geek-nerd-cold bastard, living with this collar tight to my neck. I really knew my relationship with her could go really really far (and by far I mean sex or something similar (15 year old already?! WTF!?!!)).

I know that after dumping her I hit her hard. HARD!! She was lost, going awful at school, depressed, etc. She even hooked up to a weird guy that talked really gay, but was straight (I still look at that guy and my "ex" having these strange ways of communicating: they would suddenly break from the crowd to talk something in private, he would start to behave weird, and my "ex" would just stare and nod. Hmmm, I'm such a fag.

I think it's time that I answered that question. I dumped her because I, sort of, got lost. The torrent of feelings would go from full throttle to nothing very quickly, and I would just go through my days in "auto-pilot". I was so awfully twisted back then, and decided to make this "experiment" on her. The experiment was designed in order to cause an impact or spark in her, which would draw her closer to me, because it seemed as if I was just going towards her, not equally. I overheard some of her conversations, and found out that she really noticed that I was not talking to her anymore, and that I was running away from her.

Seriously, NEVER DO THAT TO A GIRL IF YOU INTEND TO CONTINUE FOR MONTHS! NEVER PLAY WITH A HUMAN'S FEELINGS, EITHER MALE OR FEMALE. Man, I was such an idiot. XD

Then it was summer. I would just stay online for weeks, leaving the computer running all the time, playing MMORPGs and blogging. I was so depressed. Then, about the first day of school, I saw her carrying bags filled with books, she was wearing a white hoody, and said hi. I simply, with a blank face, said hi. She froze, I could tell from her body: getting stiff, rigid. She probably stayed like that for half a second. Then, I turned and walked away. WHAM! The End.

Man!! I'm such a bastard!!! X( I so fucking hate myself for doing that. Now, it's too late to repair the damage.

Well, I know from this experience, the first real love of my life, that getting to know what loving is is awe-inspiring. Having loved helps to build your being and maturity. Not having loved is a somewhat unlucky, but sometimes love comes by unexpectedly. In my situation, before and after my biggest mistake, I noticed/heard/was told that many girls fell in love with me, but would never make anything to go close to me (at least, that was what I percieved). Down here in Mexico, shy boys are rather a nuisance, and are destined to go to the gallows. But I was brought up differently, so I looked at things the other way around ._. Maybe I was too shy/cold/deattached? Sure, shy guys are tough, as well as shy girls. u_u

Now I wonder, will love ever come by my whereabouts again?

I really always wanted to write that sad episode of my life. And now, I am thinking of posting this same post on my blog. Thank you >>1

12 Name: Newoz : 2007-02-03 04:23 ID:TRyIZqiz

BUMP.
Let's bring this quite interesting thread to the top

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-03 08:49 ID:Heaven

>>expand our relation, to an upper level

lol

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-04 02:02 ID:HnQjBLJE

I experienced love, something a bit like >>5 described, during my last year of High School. She - indirectly - gave me lots and lots of strength to do things I'd probably just have let go otherwise (like, say, my studies). Also, she managed to paralyse me by fear. Literally. My feelings overwhelmed me. It was really hard. I never was rejected as I never took my chances, so I can't say I 'lost' anything.

But anyway, I think these times, when she was around, were very precious. They have given me many sweet memories and made me change a little inside, for the better (at least, I think).

So yeah, I think it's better to feel this once than never feeling it. Definitely, yes, it's better. Even if it hurts.

By the way, a great film to illustrate your question would be "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", I think.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-04 08:22 ID:IpmKPb1v

God damnit, no fucking love. Pump her and dump her. Hit it and quit it. I guarantee that 99.99999% of the people posting here are TOO YOUNG to be in a relationship. You should be HAVING FUN while you're young, not chained down to one bitch.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-04 09:55 ID:tN6h0afx

>>13

lol like power leveling?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-04 12:07 ID:4L11xL/l

>>16
DID SOMEONE SAY OVER NINE THOUUUUUSAND?!?!

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-06 06:57 ID:HnQjBLJE

>>15
Not everyone shares your view of things. I'm not talking about rigid morale or stuff, but not everyone agrees with the "hit it and quit it" thing.
Hell, there even are birds who choose one companion and that's it for the rest of their lives. Cheap comparison but whatever.
You can't force people to "have fun", especially if that doesn't sound that fun to them.

19 Name: SnappleDude : 2007-02-06 17:24 ID:RzGPnqwR

I have had my crazy expriences with love. I guess you can say it is better to love than not at all. This is my little short and sweet story....

My last relationship was quite strange. I hooked up with a girl thats sort of been one of my best friends for about 5 years or so. We had alwas wanted to go out with each other. I must have asked her out a dozen times or so lol "pretty persistant". Well we were both scared to hook up because what if we broke up.....what would happen to our friendship. we were both aware of the risks or w/e after a long time she asked me to go out with her (really random).So we start dating and things are going well. Then we hit the new year and she started to act a little differnt. I dont really know what happen but to make a long story short she ended breaking up with me.

When I asked her why she replied with we are better off as friends. Then she added that she wants to be with me but she was confused.I was even more confused. Guess it was worth going out with her for a while but then again the friendship we had is probably gone. Moral of the story dont date your friends.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-06 17:39 ID:/bdSq3Kr

I think the whole process of falling inlove is something really precious. You treasure those small moments when you catch yourself falling and it becomes really fond memories.

21 Name: fart man : 2007-02-06 18:34 ID:ypCDBx73

>>15
whats wrong with u? r u alright?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-06 21:43 ID:mjwdpg02

>>11
What a heroic story.
>>16
You should've put >>15 instead, it fits better.

15, fuck your shit.

It is best to never love, but in case you aren't strong enough for that (or what women call "pussies") then it is best to be in love but to never be with the object of affection, ever. This is to avoid attention to yourself so that you think about yourself less from another's perspectie and do so only from your own, most of the time anyways, sometimes you will do it on accident or by habit but it is fine since you're still going to be doing it less than if you were face to face with someone. In the pursuit of this goal, one must do everything in their power (or as much as they see fit) to either a)go unnoticed or b)be obviously undesireable, from the first glance of your person and the first word(s) from your mouth.

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.