Innocent Crush/ Non-Sexual/ "Densha Otoko" like support (61)

1 Name: KZO : 2007-02-07 18:41 ID:Dq0wPwGF

Does anyone need help in some crush that dosent involve adivise on sex techniques or some retarded "american pie" like dilemna. It all sounds very immature to me alot of the other threads otuside. ANyone have a genuine crush they need help on?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-08 19:13 ID:5hk2XPDU

That's simple, if he talks to you or even remotely tries to, unless it's just idle chatter, nothing of importance or purpose, usually it means nothing or it means they're happier/fine with just being around you as a friend.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-09 08:29 ID:tYabdUzr

Whoops, I meant..How do I know if a gay is interested in me?

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-09 17:52 ID:5hk2XPDU

>>13
If he tells you he loves you.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-09 18:46 ID:yLkwUYML

>>14

Yeah that's pretty much it. If he's the typical gay, then they tend to be flirty with both gay and straight.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-09 21:57 ID:iFSzVnuv

I would love if people with actually girl experience would post here. And I don't mean, "I talked with a girl once," or "I confessed but got rejected." It gets kind of annoying reading bad advice from kids who has never been in a relationship with a girl.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-09 22:35 ID:Heaven

>>16
Balls to that, it's quality entertainment!

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-12 09:44 ID:tYabdUzr

Whoops, I mean..How do I know if a goy is interested in me?

19 Name: TEENAGER : 2007-02-12 14:23 ID:FbH9Lcuh

>>16
Are you insane? Who would be left then?! D:

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-12 16:35 ID:phZj61R9

Hey KZO, I have a crush on a girl who:

  1. Talked with me into the wee hours in the morning during fall term
  2. Watched anime with me during fall term
  3. Told me she isn't dating
  4. Now it is winter term and she told me she doesn't like it when I drop by randomly to chat because it interrupts her schedule

21 Name: 20 : 2007-02-12 16:36 ID:phZj61R9

Also, I have done absolutely nothing to upset her during this time. I never even got to the point where I asked her out-- I gave her a flower once and she misinterpreted it, which is how I got that information.

22 Name: B88 : 2007-02-13 10:42 ID:XT/tgv6i

>>21
Go for it, buddy.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-13 11:45 ID:4EDR5uRN

>>21
what did she interpret the flower as? and what did you mean it to be?

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-14 19:58 ID:kq6Gdz9+

>>23
I needed something to tie a message to, so I bought a flower from the college gift shop. She thought it might be a declaration of love. I do have a really big crush on her, but I value her friendship too.

Also, I'm still at a standstill because even though she doesn't want me dropping by to talk to her anymore, I am still nervous at the prospect that I'll ruin her perfectly calculated and scheduled-out life and she will be tossed into confusion. Yeah, this is the same goddamn situation that happens a million times on this board (with a twist-- I really have nothing concrete to lose).

I'm not giving her anything today because that would be super creepy. Maybe in a week or two I'll ask her out.

25 Name: 20 : 2007-02-14 20:02 ID:kq6Gdz9+

Er, my ID will constantly be changing because I use library computers, so just call me "20". And don't call me something "otoko".

I'm planning to ask her out via e-mail.

Also, I'm way over the initial, heartbeat-skipping crush I usually get-- that happened last fall. I just want a girlfriend, and she's all I have.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-14 20:54 ID:4EDR5uRN

>>20 dude i wouldnt ask her out via email. way too impersonal, and she can easily just delete it and try to avoid you forever. at least speak to her on the phone. asking in person is best, even if shes really busy all the time just try to "accidently" bump into her one day and pretend that you are in a rush to get somewhere as well.. just say smt along the lines of "oh hey how're you doing?... im great thanks, afraid im in a rush to meet someone right now, but we should meet up over a coffee sometime!" - the main things to remember are that a)you are "great". it doesnt matter if you feel miserable that day, just smile naturally when you say it and it really will sound like youre feeling great. also, important is to just say someone, dont even hint at gender. if you say its a man, shes just gonna think youre meeting with a buddy. if you say a woman, she might get the idea that youre on a date or whatever already. if you leave it open, shell go away and THINK ABOUT YOU and who it is youre meeting. shell have you on her mind wondering if your seeing someone and what they see in you. this gets her thinking about the good (e.g. dateable/likeable) aspects of your character. basically i dont think the flower will have helped if she (wrongly) interpreted it as a declaration of love. and im a bit skeptical that she doesnt want you dropping by randomly... but i dont think its without hope!

you may have to be a bit stalkerish to happen to bump into her, its best to be "out and about" when doing this, near coffeeshops/relaxed-date places so then she wonders why youre in that particular place to meet somebody. try not to give too much away, you want her to have just enough info to spark her interest/wonder but not enough to give her anything definate, so that she can then construct possibilities in her head. so yeah, bump into her, say the stuff above ^^ and then say youll call her to arrange a time/place around your scedules. make sure you say OUR schedules not just YOUR schedule. remember, youre pretending to be really busy and happy with life and its her privaledge to meet up with you. dont phone her that day, wait until the next day and try to guess a time that she wont be too busy. avoid any mealtimes to call because she might be preparing food and wont be open to chat. when you call, keep it short and sweet, no more than 15-20minutes (unless its going really well e.g. youre both laughing and chatting and have a good vibe to the conversation), during this time really try to be funny in a slightly cocky way. it may only be 15minutes but if you do it right shell think about those 15minutes for the rest of the day and will think that you make her happy. so yeah 15 minutesish, arrange a time to meet up for coffee or whatever you want to do, make sure its relaxed and not really with any kind of date-feel to it (so avoid dinner in a restaurant for example). suggest times, and maybe make up some times that you cant do anything (giving the impression you are busy, but willing to make time for her)

thats about all i can think of right now, sorry its all a bit of a mess but it should help. main thing is to act like youre life is wonderful and full or activities and that she is being given a chance to prove herself worthy of a part in it.

oh and finally, dont send anymore flowers (or gifts in general) for a while. you dont want to give away that you REALLY like her, just that youre interested in getting to know her more but that its up to her to put in some effort to convince you.

27 Name: Moomoo : 2007-02-15 05:41 ID:OzF/NsJZ

well, im to shy to do anything the guy wont even talk to me he just stares at me that makes me even more nervous and red. it is so strange well anyway if i call him i go wired and kinda talk wierd i wish i could be a little less nervous oh well

28 Name: 20 : 2007-02-15 18:32 ID:eopSJegd

> dude i wouldnt ask her out via email. way too impersonal, and she can easily just delete it and try to avoid you forever.

This is a different kind of girl. I'm not sure if your advice applies, because both of us are very honest people who don't play any games, and if I pretended to the persona you're describing here she might see through it (although, don't get me wrong, your advice could work very well for other girls I know!). The only problem right now is I'm not sure what her deal is and I don't want to approach it the wrong way.

Also, she lives on the floor below me, and this is a school of 2,000 people, so there's no way she can escape me entirely.

29 Name: inaka jyo : 2007-02-26 02:48 ID:KXzU304q

so what happened? It's been a few days now.... <.< >.>

30 Name: Kira : 2007-02-26 07:12 ID:uxvGU/pm

I hope it goes well. Good luck.

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31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-02-28 22:03 ID:pAJ3kIh7

>>1

I don't want to hijack the thread away from 20, but I figure this applies to me as well (and 20 hasn't said anything in several days.)

I met a girl, went on a date with her (although her friend came along too, so does that count as a date?) I called her, asked her if she wants to go out again, she said she's "up for it." It's obvious she doesn't mind my company, the question is, how can I tell if she's into me? We both have alot in common, and I feel like this could go somewhere eventually.

32 Name: no-name-chan : 2007-03-01 06:26 ID:KXzU304q

>>31

Umm so she's "up for it"... I think you might need to try a bit harder to get her attention and make it explicit that you want to be just with her. The first one is kinda a date but not quite. You usually don't have a friend along till the 3rd or so date to get a second opinion.
I think you can make it, just have some confidence. She was probably wary because you just met her.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-01 13:56 ID:Heaven

>>16
suck it up and shit with it you firetapper.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-01 16:15 ID:pAJ3kIh7

>>32
Alright, just a few important details:

We met online on a dating website

We exchanged e-mails for about 2 months before arranging to meet

I think the friend came along on the first date as backup in case I turned out to be weird or crazy

When I asked if she wanted to meet again, I told her I thought her friend was nice, but I'd like for the two of us to be able to spend some time alone once in awhile

But still, my question is, how will I be able to tell if she's into me? I agree it's a bit early, but I'd like to know what signs to look for.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-01 16:59 ID:Heaven

>>34

the small things will tell you. first of all, does she want to be with you? when you are out together, whats her body language? does she play with her hair? touch you? do you get a general positive vibe from her?

36 Name: 20 : 2007-03-01 20:53 ID:Heaven

Hey, >>31, please don't make this thread about me! Anyone who has a dating problem, and is working on practice, post here. Let's give each other advice and work on our skills.

Yeah, so the girl on the floor below me has some sort of problem with me being too close to her. I'm not sure what it is. I can only assume she finds the prospect of a date scary, but she's a smart person and there could be something else. Anyhow, I am not the sort of guy who pushes other people around, so I will let her deal with it. Maybe someday she will come begging to me. Ha ha. I won't marry her, though, because she's allergic to cats.

Anyhow, I asked someone else to a movie. I'm really not that interested in this second person but I like her as a friend, and I want to get comfortable with dating through some practice. I tried a sort of half-assed trick ("I'm busy, but I'll see if I can make time for it"). She responded neutrally. Well, we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

37 Name: Shu-u-ji-kun : 2007-03-02 19:03 ID:Dq0wPwGF

Hi, everyone
I kinda need help with this girl in my social studies class. I really really like her and I do wanna tell her but how do I do so without making things akward?

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-02 20:45 ID:Heaven

>>37

ask her out for some coffee, get her to like you so it doesn't have to be awkward.

39 Name: Koizumi-kun : 2007-03-03 01:05 ID:RQCvH/Co

Saaaaaaa~

I need help confessing to this one girl that I've admired for a long time, but I don't know how to say it, especially since I'm really shy when it comes to these things, and if I don't say it soon, I'm afraid she'll be taken by other people, especially since she has that 'elegant/popular' type look about her. _| ̄|○

40 Name: denizen. : 2007-03-04 05:49 ID:jQvzA8dS

woah. you guys are sure pro in relationships.. TO YOUR STATIONS, EVERYBODY!

41 Name: denizen. : 2007-03-04 06:01 ID:jQvzA8dS

but nevermind cause i also need help. I'm 12&a girl, and last year I confessed to a guy that i liked who sat with my in p4,when we were all 10 years old. I confessed cause a few months before, we were kinda good friends, and he told me who he liked. It was one of my friends. I was devastated but i helped him tell th girl. few weeks after th rumor spreaded in school, he told me that if he didnt like that girl, he would like me. few weeks later again, he told me that he didnt like that girl, he liked one of my best friends. so i was even more devastated but again, i helped him tell that girl. 1 month plus went by, then he hated that girl he so called 'like' as she was bossy and scolded boys for no reason. So after that, he told me all of th girls he said he liked were lies to not tell me that he liked me. he is nice to me, as in school he helps me stand up to people, and whenever i get injured he would be th first to comfort me. so thats why i told him that i liked him.

42 Name: denizen. : 2007-03-04 06:06 ID:jQvzA8dS

But i've a new problem. k, lets refer to th guy i like as t. I met a schoolmate of mine in th same age as me, cause he moved over to my block.lets call him j. I started walking with him to school, back from school, going to th provisions shops to buy things, hanging out together. After awhile, he started to ask me who i liked. He kept asking till i started to ignore him. but he would apologize profusely after i scolded him. One day, i decided to revenge and to ask him who he liked. His answer made me never to speak to him again, he liked me. So from that day onwards, we havent spoken to each other. but now we talk occasionally, but we never had walked home together again.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-05 03:58 ID:pAJ3kIh7

>>31 here again with another question.

How should I interpret it when I send this girl a message (through the website where we met) and I can see she's logged in multiple times over the next few days, but it still takes a week or more (or until I send her another message) for her to get back to me? Does that mean anything, or am I just reading too much into it? I figure if she was trying to blow me off she'd just stop responding altogether, but the fact that it takes her so long makes me think she's less than enthusiastic about talking with me.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-05 06:13 ID:Heaven

>>43
that might be a bad thing. pull back for a bit, reduce contact, instead of contacting her once a week, email her every other week.

45 Name: Kira : 2007-03-05 09:40 ID:uxvGU/pm

MMMmmm you guys should try phoning each other... mmmm it might be hard for her to go online... mmmm or it could be something else... But I hope it turns out good though. Fighting!

46 Name: 20 : 2007-03-05 14:17 ID:UNfsFQDV

Just a quick update about me: the friend I was trying to ask out didn't even realize what I was doing, which made me feel like the biggest loser on earth, and I am dateless again. But last night at 3am I got the hottest tip of my life: a girl I have a crush on was reported to be "romantically frustrated." I am so pumped for this, but nervous too as I've never asked anyone out successfully! I sat in bed for an hour wondering when I would meet her in the halls, what I would say in each situation, how to avoid awkwardness... then I came back to this thread to get advice, and here's this 16-year-old Kira saying

> MMMmmm you guys should try phoning each other

Duh! I'll just call her! Thanks Kira.

47 Name: 20 : 2007-03-05 14:46 ID:eYU8wrcN

Dammit! I saw her leaving at breakfast just as I sat down and I didn't run after her and get her telephone number. Fool, fool, fool... I can still look it up in the directory, but it will be that much less romantic.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-05 20:58 ID:WCYhgZ6S

I have a bit of trouble . I want to ask a friend (girl) I like out , the only problem is she suffers from migrains and has low blood pressure so she faints at times . Thus her parents are really over protective of her. I have talked to the parents before and they seem to like me , I also see her sister frequently ; but she thinks I'm a bit on the stupid side. How do I get her parents to let her go out with me and even approve of me?

49 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-03-05 22:41 ID:LzhrTm8S

There are first order problems and second order problems to get to a particular solution. You can try to solve both types of problems in any order, but if you cannot solve a first order problem, the second order problems become irrelevant. It is therefore useful to first solve the main problem and then solve the next problem. Abstract? hopefully not!

Her parents allowing her to go out with you is second order problem. First order problem is: does she want go out with you if you ask? You knew that, right? Frigid Onanoko think you did! (nyah!)

So back to real problem! shoo!
bye.

50 Name: //akira : 2007-03-11 02:43 ID:M/NGe31g

I'm a guy, and I had a friend in high school who was a girl. For the whole school year we constantly wrote letters back and forth, passing them in the hallway. We had similar interests and became really good friends. I really like here and on Valentin's Day gave her a big velvet heart-shaped box of candy. I gave her so many signs I liked her...we talked on the phone for hours almost every day. So, one day I got up the courage to ask her to 'date' me. She stood there and said, "I don't think we should date b/c we're too young and I don't want to lose my focus on Christianity." (we were both big on Christianity ). I was crushed _| ̄|○ I couldn't understand why. Summer came, we didn't talk. The next semester I gave her a letter, she never replied. She ended up dating a gothic guy at school (who I was somewhat friends with). They had lots of sex. Now she is at a different college than me with a different boyfriend. But, I saw her at my college the other day with another friend from high school. We hung out and talked...she laughed nearly at everything I said. It made me think I had another chance with her...but, is it worth pursuing? I saw her myspace page and she has another boyfriend. Should I just forget her and look for someone else?

51 Name: 20 : 2007-03-11 02:44 ID:Heaven

I was trying to not update until I got a date, but God does my life suck. The girl I had an innocent crush on bluntly rejected me, and the other girl I was talking about in >>47 was busy and didn't want a date. Better luck next term!

52 Name: 20 : 2007-03-11 02:46 ID:Heaven

Oh no, my sage was canceled out by a simulpost with >>50 :(

Hey 50-san, I think you should go for it. If you're comfortable with her, and you want to try to hook up again, well, you never know if she's looking for an opening.

53 Name: //akira : 2007-03-11 02:49 ID:M/NGe31g

btw 20-san, sorry things didn't work out with you, let's keep trying ok! And I don't mean to take the attention off of your situation...I just really don't know what to do. I think I may try sending her a message on myspace.

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-11 03:06 ID:Heaven

>>50

It's a lost cause. If she has a boyfriend, then it will be hard and mean to break them up. Plus she is at a different college so distance will become a problem. So instead of regretting the past, why don't you make meet new girls at your college and maybe something else will work better for you.

55 Name: //akira : 2007-03-11 05:13 ID:M/NGe31g

I understand. That does sound mean to her boyfriend. Seeing her again just brought back some fond memories I guess.

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-27 23:43 ID:pAJ3kIh7

>>31 here again.

So I haven't heard from the girl I went out with in over a month now. This is after she told me she'd be up for going out again, but that she was busy the next two weekends. Well that was 4 weeks ago.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I've been out with other girls who seem to show interest in me while we're out, show an interest in seeing me again, and then they suddenly drop off the face of the earth. Why does this keep happening?

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-29 02:35 ID:yujU0n91

>>56

sounds like you just haven't met the right ones. don't give up, the bright side is that you're out there and you're meeting people. a lot of people don't even have the courage to do that!

58 Name: Visual Kei : 2007-03-31 05:10 ID:GebKLkXU

I have a crush XD I just met VK at a Con that's 6 hours away from me, so that means VK lives 6 hours away from me unfortunately. Just talk to VK on msn once in a while if VK's online, but we dont talk about much, I can't find something to talk about -___-

59 Name: Visual Kei : 2007-03-31 05:11 ID:GebKLkXU

I have a crush XD I just met VK at an anime Con that's 6 hours away from me, so that means VK lives 6 hours away from me unfortunately. Just talk to VK on msn once in a while if VK's online, but we dont talk about much, I can't find something to talk about -___-

60 Name: Visual Kei : 2007-03-31 05:13 ID:GebKLkXU

oops, double post, sorry Xd

61 Name: CABLE : 2007-04-04 11:16 ID:nwPKAJbh

>>59

If you can't find anything to talk about, then you shouldn't talk about something. Try to get to know him better first, then you are sure to know what to talk about. Ask his tastes randomly, and in the meanwhile, show him some of the stuff you like.

If this doesn't succeed, it is most likely because he doesn't think you are hot.

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