-sigh (64)

1 Name: Loki : 2007-03-15 04:37 ID:SB5XoEcP

-sighs- Well.. here it goes.

please be kind.

I met someone in a chatroom..(She's in higschool, i'm a college drop out who is working...) someone i had a very nice connection with for about a month and she just got out of a breakup.. we finally hit it on october and started going out since then.. (for about four months) but long distance.. she's from one country i was from another...we were madly in love with each other until the end of the relationship when i found her flirting with a friend on Myspace along with another friend... she said..
"If that's the way it's going to be we might as well break up..."
I then replied "If you're going to do it.. you might as well ditch me right now like everyone else did..."

Then she said she wanted time off and all of that.. and i said i was sorry for everything and i told her that's how i really was.. (which she already knew... ) but in the end we finally broke up...

a week after the breakup and no talking... we were kinda lovey dovey again thinking we were going to get back soon.. i went on the next day only to find out that she was to go to bed early and she kinda was a bit quiet...

now after not seeing her the day after that.. i went home early to see her and found out she was on the phone.. she said "Wait" after i said i was goign to leave and she left while i waited.. (usually she gets cut off by her dad's router and retires for the night but ever since the breakup i've been paranoid)

So iichan.. please tell me... i know i've dug my own grave but is there any way to salvage this....

15 Name: Loki : 2007-03-16 05:18 ID:SB5XoEcP

>>14 I do believe it's spelt "Blunt" ~~~
well..update for now.. she said she's been busy because she goes home late because of varsity.. so i do think number seven may be correct on her being busy... and yet again we acted lovey dovey.. she also said she may talk to me tommorow.. so wish me luck again Iichan...

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-16 05:45 ID:Heaven

lol nice work on the spell checking dear

17 Name: Loki : 2007-03-16 06:14 ID:SB5XoEcP

Depression and post teenage enchances the senses. Take a look at Spider-man.

18 Name: Loki : 2007-03-16 06:15 ID:SB5XoEcP

post teenage angst i meant. blah.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-16 09:17 ID:Heaven

CRAWWWWLING IN.. whatever.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-16 09:34 ID:pnPfFVco

(btw, this is 4channel, not 2channel, if that's what you mean when you've been saying iichan... I believe someone else already mentioned this as well...)

You may feel for her, but remember, first, she may not feel the same way.. She may very well be just stringing you along, playing around...

Alot of people dabble with having an "internet romance"... It's a form of game, to have this pseudo-real person on the net that you can call, and be all real lovey-dovey with, but when the call is over, you forget about that person, and go back to your normal life, almost like role playing in a sense... It's very easy to flirt with someone when you basically never think you'll ever see them in real life, so what's the harm... It seems like that's the case in what she does on MySpace, so these phone calls from meeting her in a chat room might be the same kind of flirting, in her mind...

(Incidentally, just because she might be actually on the phone doesn't mean she's "ignoring you"... That's reading waaaay too much into a simple thing like a busy signal, which just leads to more of "teh angst & drama"...)

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-16 19:17 ID:mq52b+7K

Sweetie, this girl probably really is stringing you along, like what's been said already. She doesn't seem like the sort you should be waiting on. You mentioned she was wondering about her sexuality, right? She probably isn't sure what she wants. You may love her, but try your best to back off some. I know it's hard, really hard, but in this case it might be best if you're going to be all sad and worried whenever she's not replying to you. You guys broke up, right? And if you're still not back together, just remember you two aren't dating anymore. Find something else to do. Meet other people. When and if she's ready to be more serious about things, you can think more into being with her.

But dating someone in another country sounds really far apart to me... What countries are you two in, anyway?

Try not to stress so over her. Take care.

22 Name: Loki : 2007-03-16 21:12 ID:F08Kdtcg

Eh. sorry for not minding the corrections (i usually access this board via Iichan so you know..) Anyway... i do trust her.. and in a thing like this it's all about trust.. i just wonder if we can go back to trusting each other in that same way again... (since we've broken up..) and to answer number 21's answer i'm from asia and she's in america. and.. if i should back off.. how long should i back off.. what signs should i wait for.. lately it's been me initiating everything...

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-16 21:43 ID:1XmIg9JS

Honestly, man, I have been in a somewhat similar situation like yours. Online Relationship, Different states though, but we were young, so even moving wasn't that good of an option. I found some things on a site that only an idiot would think was someone else's, and well, we broke up.

So as someone who's been in a similar situation. I'm telling you to back off. Right now, your like a dog waiting for your master's leftovers. And that ain't good for a human being like yourself.
Let Her initiate any contact and such from now on, Don't CONTACT at all. If you MUST contact her, Wait a week before doing so(7 days, no less than that). Otherwise, Let her initiate it. Because if you keep initiating it, You're basicly letting yourself become too vunerable and easy to read. If she initiates it, It lets you know that she is finally ready to talk, And probably does miss you talking to her(however, she could still be trying to play you. You should become satisfied with just the good end.)

24 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 02:32 ID:SB5XoEcP

I guess this is my fault for being so clingy. Wish me luck again 4ch.

25 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 02:32 ID:SB5XoEcP

oh and to # 23.. it has been a week with no contact.. i guess i really am attached to her x.x

26 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 02:41 ID:SB5XoEcP

i meant it's i've been through a week without contact. i had to initialize though >>

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-17 08:08 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>25
>>26

Well, if it's been a week and she hasn't contacted you at all... or hasn't atleast tried. Chances are, you think more into this than her. You're thinking gold and she's not even thinking bronze.

My suggestion. DON'T get hung up on her. Hang out with some of your Real Life friends, meet new people, Rather... meet new girls. Talk to them and get to know them. Because you could very well find someone better.

28 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 13:30 ID:SB5XoEcP

>>27 that's the least thing i want to hear right now... i really just want to go back.. ._.

29 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 14:59 ID:SB5XoEcP

Well 4ch. Looks like the pessmist and the nay sayers won... she finally blew her top at me after just pouting that i may not talk to her later.. she said she doesn't have time to sit in the computer anymore and talk and most likely wont' be on for three months...

I'm so heart broken. again.

Thank you for your time.

30 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 17:52 ID:SB5XoEcP

Great. now she just pmed me.. (I went out for an hour) and when i got home she told me "Thanks for ruining my mood and getting me into a fight with my dad..." All is lost now. i guess.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-17 18:16 ID:pnPfFVco

Don't think of it as something to be disappointed over... Think of it as a reason to get out & meet real people you can actually go to dinner or a movie with, not just PM/IM/txt/chat with...

I hate to put it this way, but it sounds like you were a bit of a flirt for her, especially since she was so reluctant, for example, to even let her parents "find out" about you, and all... And this "won't be on for three months", and "no time to sit at the computer" sounds like an excuse to get away from her internet flirt when she realized her flirting was being taken seriously, and she needed an out...

Again, think of it as a fresh start, an excuse to get with some "real" people, who you can spend time in real life with, rather than an internet romance with someone who was just playing around and doesn't sound serious at all;

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-17 20:03 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>28
>>29
>>30

Don't let it get to you, I could already tell it wasn't going to work, you were trying but it seemed like she wasn't giving it much thought and effort. She may blame you, but it's not your fault that she got into an arguement with her father. Now she's just saying things to spite you.
Although it may seem like a shitty day. It's not. Don't worry Don't worry. Meet some people, hang out with friends. Don't dwell on it. And then soon, you'll forget about it...

HOWEVER, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, take her back if she comes begging. Chances are, it'll just be a repeat of this later on.

Find a girlfriend in Real Life instead of the internet. I'm not trying to condemn having a gf over the internet, but try real life.

Trust me, I've been in a similar situation, and I had a girlfriend just like yours, She ended up being a complete and total bitch. I don't know what I saw in her. But while I thought it was the end of the world when she got 'rid' of me, when I look back now, I regret not ending it sooner.

33 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 22:33 ID:SB5XoEcP

Even after all of this.. i still want to be there to listen to her.. maybe even for her to come back.. People IRL are bigger bitches than her.. -has experienced it- x.x i just miss her. sorry if this is turning into one big emo fest for you all.

34 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 22:41 ID:SB5XoEcP

on the side note.. i made this thread in hopes to get her back.. not to forget about her.. anyway.. thank you again... ><

35 Name: Loki : 2007-03-17 23:27 ID:SB5XoEcP

now she just pmed me.... saying that she's sorry and she'll talk as much as she can... also asked for an online kiss.. wow.. what a rollercoaster. @_@

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-18 01:22 ID:pnPfFVco

Soooo.... One minute she wasn't going to be online for months, and didn't have time to be on computers anymore... And now she's "willing to talk as much as 'she can'" and asking for "online kisses"...

If you just act not hurt & just simply accept "sorry" after all these things she's done & how she's acted, I daresay she's discovered that she can keep playing around with you, for another round...

I'm honestly sorry to sound that way about her, but that's how it's sounding... It's a rollercoaster that she's putting you on... A rollercoaster at her whim, as she sees fit...

37 Name: Loki : 2007-03-18 01:32 ID:SB5XoEcP

Thing is.. id didn't even give her the kiss.

38 Name: Loki : 2007-03-18 01:34 ID:SB5XoEcP

... i did accept her apology though. I really don't want her hurt.

39 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-03-18 13:54 ID:qEOdSp4K

>>1

>started going out since then.. (for about four months) but long distance.

You never saw her. never smelled her. never held the door for her. never ordered food for her. Don't fool yourself boy, you never went out with her and you know it.

Yes, love is matter of trust, at least big part of. What does her behaviour tell you? You trust her? trust is a decision based on feeling. If you feel its good, you decide she can be trusted and act accordingly - i.e. trust is something you give to people.

She trusts you? you'll have to trust her on that too. What your feeling say now? Frigid Onanoko thinks you confused about that. There now so many conflicting events, and also you want to be able to trust her. So understandable that not easy!

You not make mistake of fool yourself. Can't fool your own emotions - they'll come back at you sooner or later. This relation will nag on you until you feel safe about relation with her. (well, thats what FO think) Internet is very bad medium to mend the wounds she inflicted to you. You not hurt her that much - she had it coming. There was little respect to you, as far as FO can read in posts above. Why you feeling sorry for her? Its her fault, her problem and you have all the right to be pissed about the situation.

>Asking for online kisses.

Frigid Onanko wonder why you no invite her to meet santa claus?

bye now! Frigid Onanoko say bye.

40 Name: Loki : 2007-03-18 19:37 ID:SB5XoEcP

As much as i do have the right to get pissed at her.. i don't.. maybe because that's how much i trust her..

As much as the carnal aspect of the relationship is important (and i know it's very important) i guess i could live without that for now and rely on what is important.. emotions. they are muddled up for her.. but i clearly still feel for her. Refusing some offers to go out with a few girls irl and online >< it's just... her whole being that attracts me... and her own personality that made me stay... i know it sounds very vague from what i posted (I always make my ex's look bad for some reason whenever i dont intend to that's when i'm talkign to other people) but she's a sweet girl and i just wish the best for her...

I just want her to go back to me... the most cliched line in the world after a breakup. but this time.. i mean it.

41 Name: Loki : 2007-03-19 03:04 ID:SB5XoEcP

I didn't talk to her today. yay for me.-clutches heart-

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-19 03:52 ID:mq52b+7K

Y'know, dear. I really don't see what's there about her to trust. I think you're just too attached to this girl. How can you pass up dates with other girls for someone so flip-floppy? Really. How can you not get pissed at her? How is not getting angry at someone equal to trusting them a lot?

I know you're still totally wrapped up about her, but... she's really really not the sort to be like this for.

You should go take someone up on that offer. Go out, have some fun, and get your mind off of her as best as you can. If you guys are really meant to be.. she'll be there when the time's right, y'know?

Just... try to stop obsessing over her so much...

43 Name: Loki : 2007-03-19 04:34 ID:SB5XoEcP

>>42 I try to not obsess about it.. it hurts backing away.. as they would all say. Easier said than done. Maybe it's also the fact i have no one to talk to lately... :\

44 Name: Loki : 2007-03-19 04:41 ID:SB5XoEcP

That and i really have feelings for her.. i really do like her.. yeah. that's obvious D:

45 Name: Loki : 2007-03-20 06:57 ID:SB5XoEcP

Day two hurts more than day one of not talking to her.. grah.

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-20 09:18 ID:pnPfFVco

I know this might hurt to hear, but all I can offer is that it sure doesn't seem to be affecting her... If she felt the same way you did, wouldn't she be contacting you?

She certainly doesn't seem bothered by not talking to you in a couple days... That kinda lends credence to the notion that she's not as into this as you are...

If she's really into having this online relationship with you, why hasn't she IM/PM/txt/whatever in a couple days? Sounds like you're always the one stuck trying to get ahold of her, while one must assume she's out with friends/whatever, living her life right now, not sparing you a thought...

47 Name: Loki : 2007-03-21 03:15 ID:SB5XoEcP

I ask you to pray that won't be it... ._.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-21 23:02 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>47
If I may ask, How old are you, and how many girlfriends have you had before her? And how many friends do you have that are girls?

I ask so I can better help you. Because so far, My advice is to let her go. As much as it may pain you, It's already putting stress on you as it is. If you continue this, chances are, you'll just be hurt in the end.

I admire your love and loyalty to her, but I, along with many others, don't think she really deserves it, despite what you may think.

I suggest you go out and have more friends that are girls... Even if it's just over the internet. But I really do you go out and meet a few girls, you don't have to have sex with them, all you have to do is talk to them. Make friends! Not lovers.

The more friends(That are girls) you have, the better chance of you knowing if what you feel about your current love is right.

PLEASE PLEASE take my advice, you don't seem like you wanna listen to any kind of advice unless it has to do with you and her getting back together(Sorry, but it does seem like that).

I don't want to help you two get back together. I just wanna help you find out what's best for yourself. If it's better for you to get back together with her, then this advice will help you discover that. If not, Then the advice will help you discover that too.

49 Name: Loki : 2007-03-22 07:13 ID:SB5XoEcP

Welp. i'm 21. And i had two girlfriends before her one irl and one in real life.. and i have at least a handful of friends that are girls.. i do hang round them.. maybe mroe than my guy friends.. and i do enjoy life... and don't get me wrong.. i can see you all want me to "Move on" but my heart still stays locked to her... and i just miss her so much...

And don't worry. my love and loyalty for her was earned by her... i can't tell you how but i assure you that it is... ._.

50 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-03-22 07:15 ID:Y3i2WyzU

>I ask you to pray that won't be it... ._.

how rude! FO disgusted for being asked to pray for such insignificant and silly thing as this. really.

51 Name: Loki : 2007-03-22 09:40 ID:SB5XoEcP

You don't have to if you don't want to. o.o;

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-22 23:41 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>49
I gotta be honest with you. I just don't see it. I really don't understand why you like her so much. The way you describe her in this topic... Is very superficial. you have highlighted all the bad parts and none of the good. Maybe I'm missing something... I don't know.

What I do know, from all the info provided. You are much too good for her. I'll highlight so info:

  • She and you broke up.
  • She isn't giving you much attention,

-- Because She's too busy
-- Or because she's too busy to talk TO YOU

  • You and her live in different COUNTRIES

-- Visiting will be tough
-- Moving will be tougher.

  • It's a Long Distance relationship that started on the web

-- Not a bad thing, but how things proceed will differ
-- Easier to lie and manipulate a trusting person
-- You are a trusting person

Those are some info I had in my head right now.

But anyways, Listen, since your so gun-ho about her. visit her. Don't move to America to see her. Just save some cash and plan a trip. Head to her town, The more of a tourist spot it is the better, and just ask her to show you around. If her parents ask, just saw your a friend of a friend of hers and you are new to town and explore with her. Get to know her in her own environment before you go gaga over her. Because from what I can tell, she isn't going as gaga over you. Maybe she really likes you, maybe she doesn't. I can't tell you that, and not even yourself can tell you that. We just have to make the best observation and inferences as we can from what we got.

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-23 00:17 ID:lDRQztC3

>>49

>>And i had two girlfriends before her one irl and one in real life.

How many real lives do you have?

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-23 02:31 ID:EEf/eOBk

loki you sound like a complete wimp. you are crying, sobbing, pulling your teeth out over a girl you meet online. i have had friends depressed when their girlfriend in real life broke up with them, but they weren't even in this bad of shape. i mean they were hurting but they understood that they cannot obsess over a girl that does not want anything to do with them. and consider yourself lucky, you can easily block her screenname and never have to deal with her again. and you were with her for 4 months, 4 freaking months. that is nothing, imagine being dating a girl for 3 years and they break up with you, 4 months is not that bad when you think about it.

shit happens to all of us, and the ones that are sucessful are those who can get back up and keep going. so rather than wasting your energy crying like a woman (which probably one of the reasons why she broke up with you) man up and get going with your life.

55 Name: Loki : 2007-03-23 05:03 ID:EJmIfI+r

>>52 As bleak as it looks, i remember writing this at a time of distress. I miss her and loved her because she accepted me for who i was.. and actually kept me.(A rare feat for someone) and i did enjoy her personality.. so carefree and yet caring... something i was always finding. She was also very possesive which i liked... But i guess time away from her (when they moved my schedule to the morning shift my time.) kinda made us drift apart.. As for visiting her.. i guess it most likely is along the way if she does talk to me soon and we do get a stonger relationship...

>>53 More than battletoads.

>>54 As much as i am a wimp (Which i do accept) I do have to point out that not all humans are made the same. some will linger longer than others. i guess that's me. some will be more numb than others.. not me. So i guess i'll always be myself. not some machismo stereotype that you are used to. I will get back up in my feet. But i'm perfectly fine aside from the fact i miss her. I work. I play. I sleep. I eat (not much though). But i just miss her. I still want her with me. So thank you for your input.

And thank you all again for listening...

Loki

56 Name: 54 : 2007-03-23 09:37 ID:EEf/eOBk

>>55

Yes all humans are not the same and handling situations differ from person to person. But you need to put things into persepective. You are a 21 year old college drop out, who got into an online relationship with a high school girl who probably lives on the other side of the world. You "dated" for 4 months where you exchanged "online kiss" (please explain this to me). Now you never meet this girl, you never held her hand, you never seen her laugh or even taken out on a real date and yet you are upset for losing her and even believe you have a chance with her. Look, she doesn't like you, it does not matter if they moved your schedule (emails don't have to be instant). You are making a mountain out of a mole hill my friend, of things you should be worried about this should be number 57.

And as for the 'machismo' stuff, this how I help my friends out if something bad happens to them. Seriously, what can I do to make things better? Probably nothing, so why bother worrying about it? Just learn from the past and live your life. that is all you can really do.

57 Name: Loki : 2007-03-25 07:04 ID:SB5XoEcP

As much as i do appreciate the help thank you. But what i am trying to focus on is getting her back for the meanwhile... and i'm just.. waiting.. one week of not talking >< i know i will be flamed for it.. but so be it... we had something special.. i'll leave it at that...

58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-25 19:44 ID:ae5jBU39

I just really hope for your sake that you did "have something special"... I just really haven't seen anything all that special from your stories...

Which just leads me to wonder why you want her "back" so much, when there are real people in your real life who don't constantly flip flop & flirt around on you...

I hate to say it, but to be dead honest, it doesn't sound like you ever "had" her to begin with... Sounds more like you thought you guys had something special going on, while she was just flirting with someone from the net, something that's really easy to do in this day & age, without any lingering attachments...

59 Name: Loki : 2007-03-27 07:17 ID:Heaven

Well 4Ch. She got a new guy. I guess you guys finally won.

60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-28 02:18 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>59

I'm happy for you... Well, I didn't want to win, and it would have been good if We were wrong about her. But truth hurts. alot.

Be glad you don't have to deal with her anymore.

61 Name: Loki : 2007-03-28 03:53 ID:Heaven

I still do want her. But i guess i just have to see what happens...

62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-28 04:12 ID:Heaven

loki you are living proof that hope is the greatest of all evils.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-28 05:14 ID:1XmIg9JS

>>61

...
sigh

64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-28 05:58 ID:kN3I4RoH

i'm sorry man. but if she DOES have a boyfriend now and your still hopeing, then i'd think it to be kinda creepy if i was her. I mean, put yourself in her shoes for a while

She is talking to a guy through emails for a while, probably just a flirt pass some time by. and now, she finds someone real that she can touch hold feel and all the above.

and then, said internet guy is halfway around the world, obsessing about her. i mean, you cant tell me that if right now i was obsessing about you, you wouldnt be creeped out

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