What now? (25)

1 Name: Laika : 2007-03-18 20:52 ID:M/tUMdi4

Hello, 4-ch I turn to you again in my hour of need.
I've run out of guys and I can't find anymore. That's not to say there have been an inordinate amount of boys in my life, it's just I've picked and panned so much- I ended up dating all the possibilities and being disappointed each time. My dating/friendship pool has grown incestuous and overrun.
Now I don't know where to go and find some more, or at least one who is decent. Where do they all hang out? Is there a Cool Boy's Club somewhere around town that I'm missing?
But then again, am I just being to picky? It shouldn't be this hard to find someone I'm happy with, right?
I'm worried that maybe my standards are too high or I made a mistake in the past and now I'm screwed in the relationship-department.

Help me with a diagnosis please!

2 Name: Loki : 2007-03-18 21:03 ID:hCcp3Ocj

Try moving to another town?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-18 21:53 ID:sqMfISdf

>>1 diagnosis: W-H-O-R-E
solution: anime-conventions

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-18 22:36 ID:70JektVw

>>3
(lol)

On a serious note:
Where are you looking for guys? An anime convention, as mentioned earlier, for example, is likely a place where many "cool boys" hang out... And many of us "nice guys" at anime 'cons are single (Myself, for example)...

Along that same note, alot of finding a nice guy is indeed where you're looking... A lot of people just go to bars, and places like that, to look for someone... Not that nice guys don't go to bars, but depending on the type of guy you're looking for, you might not find him where you've been looking... (I, for example, am not the type to go out to bars; Granted, that cuts down on dating prospects, but still, it's just not the type of place for a guy like me)

And... On behalf of nice, single guys like myself everywhere: Wherever you go that you strike up a conversation with a guy, and he seems nice... Please, for the love of gawd... Somehow work the fact that you're single and looking for someone into the conversation! I can't say how many nice, promising conversations I've had with girls and they just end and we go separate ways because I'm too afraid of bringing it up and offending the girl by finding out she's not looking...

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-18 23:56 ID:cpHjriY3

Anime convention is a really bad idea. It's full of creeps and ewww people. I, in fact, actively try to avoid people who like anime because I don't want to come across creeps, of which there are a high number of in the anime fandom, even though I like anime, but not that much. Any, lol run-on sentence.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-18 23:56 ID:cpHjriY3

>>5 replace Any with Anyway

7 Name: Loki : 2007-03-19 03:03 ID:hCcp3Ocj

I'd say speed dating. but.. meh.

8 Name: Laika : 2007-03-19 04:04 ID:M/tUMdi4

>>4
I can't really see myself in a bar for any other reason than to drink and even then, I would be focused solely on my liquor. Also, frat boys make me puke a little.

What I'm looking for in a dude is pretty varied. As long as you're relatively clean, nice,and not a creep, I think you've got a shot.

I hesitate to show up at an anime con because of the point >>5 makes and I am incredibly scared of fat people.

For the record, when I say I have DATED many guys, I do not mean FUCKED.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-19 04:37 ID:2MY2Pm1E

well, bars aren't usually filled with frat boys, frat houses usually contain them just well. but if are still afraid of bars, try a cafe or another any place where people usually go to chill. hell starbucks is full of 30 year old college hipsters, so you won't have to worry about them not being uneducated just very pretentious.

but as a girl, it shouldn't be a problem to find guys as long as you are decent looking and are well kept. come on, you are 1 of 4 girls that visit 4ch, just get yourself out there and watch the guys fight over you.

10 Name: No 4 : 2007-03-19 13:25 ID:6+TUaaey

>>9 lol:)

Anywho, I've got to agree somewhat w/ >>5... There can be alot of creepy & eww people at an Anime con, also; (Though personally, I think the creepy guys are pretty easy to identify on sight...):) However, again, I will say that many of the shy ones of us are very nice; (Incidentally, there's no reason to be scared of fat people; I'm not fat, myself, but there's no reason to actually be scared of them, that's for certain; That kinda goes for anywhere, really...)

Personally, my opinion of bars is exactly along the lines of the "Frat Boy" mentality... I hate be vulgar in my opinion here, but the types of guys you'll find there are looking for one of two things: to get drunk, or to get laid... More often: both..

As I've said earlier, though, regardless of how you "meet" someone, if you're in a conversation with someone, please make clear that you're interested in them, as take it from me, we're faaar more scared to ask if you're already "taken", and just having a friendly conversation...

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-19 17:16 ID:v/oSpfsE

Bars vary pretty widely. In college, there are the hookup type bars, generally and widely known as, well, we call them "meat markets". Those are probably the type you want to avoid, as frat boys, jocks and all sorts of people trying to get casual sex and or drunk hang around there. (There are dry meat markets as well, for example, the on campus rec pool, ARC and gyms and so on)

However at other bars (sometimes at different times), bars are considered to be far less awful. People that are regulars and other people just coming in for a drink, to watch the television and whatever, somewhat like more of a cafe environment, except with alcohol. Some bars on cater to certain groups, and so on. (Gay bars, for example, from what I've heard from girls, great places to get a drink and dance if you don't want to be bothered every five seconds by a horny guy)

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-19 19:05 ID:fHZnGIQT

Well I really enjoy chilling out with my pals in a bar/pub, drinking beers or whatever and talking about everything that may be talked about. I'm probably the more reserved the group, of course; but that's a given that we are not going there because it is a meat market or whatever; we sometimes drink a little too much, but even then it's still because we're here as friends and are having fun.
And I'll tell you, we more or less are all the average "nice-guy" type. We won't hesitate to talk to other people if we feel they can take part in the whole "having a good time" thing. And yeah, we're all singles (well, all but one).

That said, I agree with >>11, the kind of population that frequents a bar varies widely, some places are best known as "places to get laid" and whatever. But still you'll find people that just are there having fun for themselves. I suggest you to look for this kind of group and find a way to join in. This can end up at least to a good evening, and might go further. Who knows?

13 Name: Laika : 2007-03-20 03:15 ID:M/tUMdi4

I guess maybe it's just the type of bar I visit, yeah? Alright, I will make a list:

  1. Appropriate Bars
  2. Bookstores/Cafes(?)

3.Anime Cons (But Must Remember to Bring Stun Gun and Creep-Vision Goggles)

As far as the bars go, I'm 17 (and in Texas) so I can get into 18 and up bars as long as I arrive with someone 18 or over. (At least in Fat Jacks and The Chute, that is.) BUT there is that pesky age difference between me and every guy I look at. I hate the stigma attached to 17 year old girls and I need to know.. Does it really make that much difference to guys? Would you turn me down if you knew my age, even if I was an OK kinda girl?

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-20 05:01 ID:hR9omtIS

Well the age thing will make a difference if the law is involved. But if you are 17 I would not recommend going to a bar then. Stick to the cafes and bookstores to find guys closer to your age. Hell if there is a university close by, head over there and chill at a cafe on campus, meet great guys who are also educated.

And anime cons...most guys there won't know what to do with a woman if they had direction written in Japanese on her forehead.

Hey, can you tell us why all of your past relationships failed? We can probably help steer you away from places that have guys with those characteristics.

15 Name: Laika : 2007-03-20 05:46 ID:M/tUMdi4

Ugh, I hate to admit it but I think it was mainly my fault.
My last boyfriend and I dated for about 4 months and at the end, we were both just too awkward to go on. He wouldn't make any advances and I wasn't really putting it on a tray. When we were together it felt more like we were just really good friends instead of two people dating.
So I don't really know what that says about the kind of guys I choose. Awkward boys, maybe? Dudes that are shy?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-20 09:26 ID:70JektVw

Sounds like a combination of them being shy, and your being shy... Are you really looking for a serious relationship, or just a casual boyfriend, as it sort of sounded like you weren't making any real advances yourself...

As far as being 17, yeah, I think that definitely makes a difference in a bar... Considering you're underage for even being there on your own likely makes a lot of people there hesitant to get involved...

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-20 20:09 ID:Heaven

The truly cool don't often go anywhere, if they want to drink they have their drink right where they are. If they need to do anything at all its going to be right at their fucking house and going places is only about either making money or restocking in booze and cigarettes. If you want shitheads go to bars and pool halls, if you want old fags go to coffee shops, if you want anonymous you have to go up to his door, bust in and jump on him because he's going to avoid you as much as humanly possible because of what you are. Everyone knows that there's no way in hell you could ever accomplish that, you are forever stuck to meet randoms in some public outing. To be honest I prefer to deal with individuals individually rather than 20 non individuals at once, it is all a matter of logic really but, you're also retarded for wanting a more involved situation from that without so much as saying anything about it, the hell did you two do when you were together, watch television all day? At least throw televisions off the freeway or something instead, god. And what would posess you to think that a shy kid is going to know let alone even let himself ever believe that its what you want when you're not making that clear? Well, maybe he just didn't want you enough to take any chances, try being alone for a while, like 20 years and then see how you act around people ever. I guarantee you it'll be different.

18 Name: Laika : 2007-03-21 04:27 ID:M/tUMdi4

>>17
Just because we didn't have superfluous amounts of physical contact doesn't mean it was a bad or a boring relationship. We went out to shows and parties, hung out with friends together. We even stayed in and cooked for each other alot- and sometimes (gasp) we just sat out on the porch and talked. It's not that I was shy (when I wanted it, lord knows I got it) it just got to the point where I was like, "...meh." and he didn't really care either.
But as far as the actual advice goes in this thread, thank you very much! Hopefully, I can find a nice boy hanging around the marvel section at the bookstore!

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-21 19:05 ID:r6oD+KRG

My advice, as an engaged male who's dated three different women, is to take it easy and try to enjoy the single life while you can. You're 17, probably goin off to college in the next few years, whats the rush? You're young, plenty of guys will probably go after you if you want them to. College is a great place to meet people, in study groups, classes, random outings together, and what worked for me, club activities. Any political tendencies? Join a club devoted to your party, you'll find some very decent and very intelligent guys there who will like you more for that. Thats just one example. Bookstores, bars, and anywhere else that involves paying money to be there is probably the worst place to meet people. I'm halfway between introvert and extrovert, and I personally choose to avoid contact with anyone I don't know while I'm shopping or at a bar, usually I go with friends. Anime conventions can be good, with practice you'll know what to look for, but don't be donned as the con bicycle. I met some pretty cool people volunteering for the con, maybe you'll have similar luck. Point is, as a girl, you have it a lot easier in that guys are expected to ask you due to society, but it never hurts for a girl to ask a guy, he's usually a cocky bastard or stupid if he turns down a request from a girl. Good luck, you'll find happiness I'm sure. I had to wait 3 more years than you to date my first girl, but now I'm engaged at 21 and life is pretty good.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-03-22 17:42 ID:kn8y+o6v

I'm >>12 and I think my advice was a bad one, considering you are only 17 - I assumed you were older given the context.
Don't tell me you've run out of guys at 17. Trust me, I'm not really someone who manages to meet tons of different people, yet I know FAR more people (be it same or opposite sex) than, say, 3 or 4 years ago. And I'm only 22.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-06 08:20 ID:RmerG8/T

>>13

its not because of stigma, its strictly legal and potentially life damaging reprocussions of association with anyone under 18, especially in a conservative state like TX

it doesnt matter how attractive, there is nothing wise in inviting a public lynching.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-06 12:11 ID:mDEiYHkL

just saying that the age doesn't matter

23 Name: Josou : 2007-04-07 17:07 ID:V4SKh6c3

>>13

Yeah, going out with someone not of legal age, is a sure fire way to get, #1, you parents concerned, which may lead to #2, the cops keeping an eye on you. Even without the parents being protective, I would be terrified of the long arms of the law throwing me into the Party Van.

In any case, you don't really have to worry. It's only when you go to college, and graduate, then start running out of people that it's time to get worried about finding potential dates.

24 Name: Seraphius : 2007-04-07 17:40 ID:OsOZofk8

>>22

Age matters in the sense that most people become more mature and have different goals in different stages of thier lives. The primary goal of a 17 year old girl should be getting into a college and/or getting themselves into a position in which they can support themselves. Finding a guy is not first priority for someone who is in high school... and it should be priority #3 or lower for someone who is in college even.

>>1
And anyway, the first person that you should be happy with is yourself. If you are not happy as an individual, you sure as hell are not going to be happy with someone else. Not for any real length of time anyway.

25 Name: Laika : 2007-04-18 02:38 ID:M/tUMdi4

>>24
Good point, I guess.

>>23
I think I'm just tired of going to parties by myself and all these spring couples I see walking around...Well, I get jealous.
I suppose I will just wait as college boys are too cute for words. Another year, I can do it! ( ・∀・)

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