WTF is wrong with me? (12)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-25 19:09 ID:ibMryCYn

To make a long story short, I become "infatuated" (for lack of a better word) with women far too easily. I believe it might be how I was raised.. by my overbearing grandmother, and my father being absent my whole life. But seriously, I will meet a girl and we will strike up a conversation, and usually we become friends. And it seems that as soon as we do become friends, I get feelings for them and fall "in like" with them.. cause of all the times it's happened I cant say I truely LOVED the girl.. although it felt like it, I cannot say it was love. I mean, its so pathetic that it even happens on the internet when I make a new female friend. I really dont understand it.. other than te fact that it does NOT seem healthy, for it leads to disappointment after disappointment, and it starts to hut after 20 years =/. Am I the only one with this problem? Is there any way I can eliminate this state of mind?

2 Name: かやしゅ : 2007-04-25 20:12 ID:70hCe2as

Nah, I usually have this too with new female people I get to know, sadly, I never really found a cure other than to keep reminding myself that 'it's just a friend', and 'don't go thinking like that now'.

But yeah, I do know what situation you're in. Your only cure, as far as I can see, is try to not take it all personal what she might say about you, and don't show too much interest towards her either. It'll only disappoint you if you know you can't or shouldn't have her.

Y'know?

Sorry if I couldn't help much....

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-25 20:24 ID:ibMryCYn

Ah ya know, I kind of figured thats the only thing I could do about it, besides years of expensive therapy. Thanks for the input I do appreciate it

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-25 20:30 ID:Heaven

Summary of thread:

>infatuated
>female people
>therapy

Uhm. fag. yeah.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-26 03:13 ID:Heaven

>>1
I have the same problem. The sad part is I dont have a gf and I dont think i could get 1 anytime soon. 20 yrs lol 18 years is hard 4 me. (ToT)

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-26 03:16 ID:ibMryCYn

yeah #4 how about you gofuck yourself
And dont feel bad #5 Im 19 and i just got my first girlfriend and my first lay less than 2 months ago. of course she dumped me after a week cause I made the msitake of telling afriend all the details, and he told everyone, and she found out. Itll happen.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-26 06:38 ID:g+ENt4HE

>>6

Why do you do that, go telling someone? Even if it's your best fucking buddies, what business is it of theirs to know intimate details about you and your girlfriends life?

I think it was harsh of your girlfriend to leave you for that but I can understand her, for fucks sake grow up.

8 Name: かやしゅ : 2007-04-26 07:42 ID:70hCe2as

>>6 Definately a bad move. You should've just written in a diary or something, if you had to tell someone so badly.

>>4 Go to /fag/ idiot.

>>3 Though don't think about it so much. If you give it too much thought that you might become bitter and reject even those women that you -should- be with. All you need to do is catogerize certain people in 'friends' and 'potential gf'. Setting up limits and borders is definately a way to go, too.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-26 13:51 ID:eAsq6xB/

I have this problem where I start liking guys in the games that I play. Going by just a screen name is kinda hot while it lasts. But then the inevitable happens, things get personal and they send me their photo.. I never really expect much, but holy jebus..

10 Name: かやしゅ : 2007-04-26 15:40 ID:70hCe2as

>>9 Well, neither should you expect anything. Internet is like that, and frankly, I don't think internet should be considered a reliable source for meeting your soulmate/partner.

Although anyone can name a few examples how it could go right, it still shouldn't be considered a reliable way.

Usually, people are very different on the net than they are in real life, and that does throw you into confusion. Best to avoid
these things altogether.

Who knows? You might run into some kind of serial killer. ┐('~`;)┌

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-27 13:36 ID:zgOz6IEf

>>10
10/10 of them turn out to be fatties or skinny glasses boy with a tank-top on. What the fuck is up with guys and tank tops? They're seriously not flattering, unless you're already attractive.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-04-29 07:49 ID:ZQHYgco6

I think this is a syndrome I'll dub, lagged angelic-morphism.

When people first meet others of the opposite sex they usually don't know everything there is to know about a them, thus they're able to fill it all in with the traits that they think belong to the perfect girl/boy. I don't think you can truly know someone as a friend for quite some time; so I think you're attractions are still hitting along the lines of this time period of initial attraction.

Your situation is probably a combination of this and a slight oedipus syndrome since you weren't raised by your mother. You may long for love more than the average guy and thus it manifests itself in the form of puppy love encounters.

Start gauging the feelings you have when you start liking a girl. Record them so you don't forget them. Learn to be friends with a girl for a long time without confessing to them. See where that takes you.

Or, change your game up. If you can fall for any girl, only talk to girls you find attractive. Don't fool yourself into thinking you just want to be friends. Don't be afraid of disappointment. Just confess all your feelings all the time. Don't fall into that friend zone. Don't be a pussy. Don't fear rejection. Get into a long term relationship. Reaize how shitty and annoying relationships can be; and how being in relationships makes people act crazy. Then you'll be on the next level.

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