There's a similar thread already, but this is my own problem so...
I once met this guy in the internet, because a couple of friends knew him from an oekaki. I started befriending with him as I found him very similar to me, and in no time he became my best friend. He had a girlfriend at the time, and whenever he had problems with her he would come to me looking for advice or comfort. I felt safe with him, he would always ask me about my problems and help me get over the hard times (teenager in pain lol). We once made a promise of going to Disneyland when I found out he had never gone to the park, and I often told him I'd always stay by his side, that we would be sidekicks forever. He would always make my day with his jokes and silliness.
After some time I got very fond of this person, and after he broke up with his girlfriend I started developing romantic feelings for him, which I happily found out were corresponded. We had a wonderful relationship which lasted a year, and I can say for sure he was the love of my life. I'd never been so happy in my life, but I was pretty young at the time so a long-distance relationship was really hard, and in the end I decided to break up with him, promising we would still be friends.
Buuuut... We all know how this things end. When I started another relationship he got really angry, and I couldn't stand his jealousy and bitterness. Because of this and school we stopped talking for some months, but I missed him dearly and I tried to talk to him everytime I could, with weak responses, if any. A couple of years passed and we still were apart from each other, until one day he finally answered me. It was an uncomfortable conversation and in the end he snapped and told me all he had been feeling, how long he had still felt in love with me and how much he hated me now. I felt horrible but I just wouldn't let go, so I kept trying to communicate with him. In that conversation I found out he still talked to the ex-girlfriend I talked about in the beginning, and this made me feel angry and confused: why would he forgive her but not me?
Fast-forward to last Christmas. Things were still the same, no talking to me, until I tried talking to him (by talking I mean by messenger by the way) at christmas eve and for my surprise he answered me. We talked all night until he told me he was tired and went to bed, we said goodbye and it seemed like things were gonna look up, but they didn't. He never answered again, and after some months, around February I think, he stopped logging in. I tried talking to his ex-girlfriend to see if she knew anything about where he was, but she told me she didn't really know what happened. Then I started with the creepy actions... I asked the almighty gods of the Internets and got my answers. I found his new account in a website and where he hung out now; some weeks later the ex told me she found out what happened. She had sent him an e-mail asking why didn't he log in to his IM anymore, and after some days he added her to his new account, and told her he had found someone else. I think the new girl lives nearer his city, so I guess it's better now. I felt strange talking about this with his ex, I always felt jealousy because to my eyes she was perfect and I would never be able to surpass her, but now I know she feels abandoned just as I feel, and I can talk to her about this.
[continue...]
But she has accepted the fact that he's forgotten about us, I can't. I can't forget about the promises we did and I can't forget how good his friendship was. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and I need him to continue enduring the shit life brings, he was my support and my shelter. I love him more than anything in the world, and I don't mean in a romantic kind of way but in the truest thing I've ever felt; I just want to be able to be part of his life again, as a friend or wathever. But I know this feelings are just poisoning me and leading me into being a sick stalker. I found his new e-mail yesterday and a couple of forum accounts, while doing my daily check on his websites, although I'm not really going to do anything with this info anyway, I just like to read him and know about his whereabouts.
This is not healthy but I simply don't want to stop...
I'm confident one day I'll be able to see him personally and ask for his forgiveness, because I told him at christmas eve I would give him all the drawings and stuff I made for him over the years in person, and I have an oil painting that's waiting for my wallet to fill up again so I can send it to him by Fed-Ex or something.
I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I wrote all this, I don't know if I was expecting some kind of advice. I just had to get all this bullshit out of my system, I don't have anyone to talk about this and suming it up with some more things going on in my life this is fucking killing me inside. That's all.
Halp? :<
have you guys ever seen each other in person? are you able to meet up with him?
imo he might still hold some feelings for you. maybe you should try showing how much you love him. You said that you would give him all your drawings and what not on christmas eve. YOu should also try to surprise him with something...like meet him at a romantic place or something. THen confess to him again and pour out what you really feel. Usually guys are more affected by physical contact so try to add a kiss to your confession. If he really still ilkes you then he'll defnitley realize it.
show me some pics of you guys!
how old are you guys anyways?
Only if you hadn't started another relationship after you guys broke up...
No, we've never seen each other IRL, and unfortunately I cannot meet him. We don't just live in different countries but also in different continents, sigh. I had been planning on going with some friends to Europe, which is where he lives, and part of the plan was me separating from the group and pay him a visit... But I'm not sure if we'll carry on with the plan. My friends know he's someone special to me, and even if they don't like him much anymore because of how he acted because of my new boyfriend they accept and support my decision of trying to meet him.
I'm not in the relationship that started the problem anymore... Some time after I split up with the guy I went back to my first boyfriend, who ended up breaking up with me because he realised he didn't want to spend all his life with me, he wanted to experience with more people. Which is fine, really, he's also been a great friend of mine and I knew things would end up like that. This did cause some other problems with my friend (who will be known as K from now on so there's no confusion), because he hates my first boyfriend and thinks he's an asshole for treating me so poorly when we were in a relationship, etcetera.
But I think you misunderstood me, Mega Orc. I don't want to be back with him again because I know that's not gonna happen in a million years... I just want him to let me be his friend again. He used to be like a brother to me, I would kill for him and he would kill for me, and I loved him because of that.
Truth be told, I still do have romantic feelings for him, but I just want his frienship back. The girl he's with now is 14 I think, and apparently going through her teenage angst stage, which makes me wonder if he has a thing for girls in need... They don't live in the same city though, and they met while playing some online game, Final Fantasy I guess since he loves it so much. He's such a geek <3.
I'm a much more social person now. I go out with my friends every weekend to either parties or small rock shows. I've always been shy when it comes to compliments and usually look down on myself, but I've grown on that subject and I'm more conscious about my pros and cons. I know I can get someone if I want, I'm not bad looking and my personality gets along well with most of the people. I thought this changes in my self-consciousness would make letting go of him easier, but they haven't. I still miss him and still want to befriend with him again.
He's 18 and I'm 17.
>>6
I second this question,lawl.
Want another internet boyfriend? Anonymous is here!
lawl well it might be irrelevant but dont tell me you guys arent curious on their appearance. I'd personally like to see how they match up and what not...lookswise i mean.
Not to sound shallow but if the guy your talking about turns out uglier than a hydra Im pretty sure you'd like him alot less. Alota people say that outer appearances doesnt matter but deep down they know its not true. It might not matter when you guys are like forty but since you guys are still barley out of the adolescence stage it'll play a big part in teh relationship.
Well in any case since you just want to be his friend again you should just treat him like one. Ask him if you guys can start over, or just talk to him about things that a best friend would talk about. btw you should probably try apologizing to him.
I don't want an Internet boyfriend, one try was all I needed to understand those relationships are hard to mantain. I was too mentally and emotionally young at the time to keep the relationship alive.
>>9
I did apologize at christmas eve, and as I said before by the end of the conversation it felt as if things were going to be alright, but they weren't.
I honestly don't care about looks. He's overweight, pale skin (common trait in anonymous because of the lack of sunlight, y'know), long hair and doesn't shave very often, uses glasses and wears those lame metal t-shirts that have brutal designs, haha. All in all I find him adorable, when we talked with webcam and microphone I could always make him blush with dumb comments... God I miss him so much.
Should I try to contact him again? And how would I explain I got his e-mail or account or whatever?
lol heyy I have pale skin, somewhat long hair and am a big fan of metal. Do you think I have a chance with you? just kidding
your description of him completley matches a nerdy metalhead lmao.
Anyways I believe you should try contacting him again.I think what you guys shared is too much for it to just be forgotten. It'd be too much of a waste and I'm sure you'll regret it later on.
By the way since you found his forum accounts you could always post in the topics that he posted and make sure that he recognizes the way you talk so he'd know its you in the forums.
I dont know what his reaciton will be but you could be like HEY! I didnt know you posted on these forums etc.
move on and find someone else. from someone in a similar situation but from the point of view of that guy, if he really did care for you as much as it seems in your story, you've hurt him pretty bad. An apology probably won't be enough. i suggest cutting your loses and moving on.
> I know she feels abandoned just as I feel
> I decided to break up with him, promising we would still be friends
> I started another relationship ... I couldn't stand his jealousy and bitterness.
Seems like you're not the one who was abandoned. The "let's just be friends" thing is a dagger in the heart of any man, more so to a still maturing teenager. I don't think he would be able to stand your obsessive clinging.
> love him more than anything in the world ... the truest thing I've ever felt
You may just ignore this, but there is no "true love" (or "soul mate"). There is lust, infatuation and family bond. Eventually the infatuation always wears off after one/two/three years, and if there isn't a strong bond beyond that, it's over.
> all the drawings and stuff I made for him over the years
Now that's creepy. I'd recommend dismantling the homemade shrine.
> I was pretty young
> He's 18 and I'm 17.
You're still very, young. There's more people out there, just don't blow it next time.
> Should I try to contact him again?
> And how would I explain I got his e-mail?
No, but if your insist on pouring salt on an open wound, go ahead.
Just drop him a line, tell him you searched for his name in Google. Be upfront about your intentions, and if he doesn't want to reciprocate, move on. There's probably someone at your high school who was a crush on you, but you don't realize it because your off daydreaming.
>>15
I am aware I was the one who abandoned him first, and after some time I realised this and apologised to him. For a while things were ok (this happened two months later after the break-up or so), but it all when downhill after that, just when I started a new school semester. I guess most of the obssesive behavior started since he changed his e-mail, as I felt relieved every time I logged in and his name was online, even if he wouldn't answer me or whether I called him or not. The presence was enough.
I don't think keeping old drawings that had been waiting for money in order to be sent is creepy. I don't have a homemade shrine for him, I just want to fullfil what he requested. After both conversations we had (the one with him snapping and the one in christmas eve) I asked him again if he still wanted the drawings, and he said he did.
Age is not something I'd judge people for, although I know it is an important fact. The difference between me when I first met him and me now is huge, that's why I pointed out I was very young. I've had other relationships, I've noticed a guy's trying to get me interested. I don't mean to "pour salt on an open wound, as you put it, but I need to talk to him again. I wish he would let me have another conversation with him, I want to know how his work's doing, what's he playing now, how cute his new girlfriend is, anything that has to do with his life now. I know I love him as a friend, which is what I mean with "truest thing". I don't think lust, infatuation and family bond is the only way one can see love, but if you want to restrain the terms you may call it a family bond. He acted sometimes as an overprotective brother. I never had a father figure so some psychological stuff probably has something to do with my clinging.
I had a friend from another state who once told me he had found a small bulge in his body, and he told me he was afraid it could be cancer. I told him to go to the doctor and tell his family, but he told me he didn't like doctors, and he didn't want to worry his mother. After some months he stopped logging in, WTF. I don't want to one day find out K is dead without having a second chance at being his friend again, just like in the beginning.
Or I could keep trying moving on like I've been doing so for the last years.
At least I'll try e-mailing him some day..
>>11
I think I'd be too obvious if he found out I'm posting in the same FF forum he is, lawl, I don't play it.
I think like a lot of girls, you want what you can't have. Or maybe you like a good challenge. Sorry to make assumptions, but I want you to consider the possibility. If you really do care about him that much, wouldn't you want him to be happy and respect that he's trying to move on? Believe me, the ball is in his court. If he wanted to talk to you, he'd get online again, but as it goes, he's preoccupied with his new life. I'm sorry for being harsh. Believe me, I know how hard it is to let go of a close friend. In the end, you have to do what's best for them. It's a possibility that after some time, you guys can patch things up. For now, try to move on yourself. If friendship is really all you want, then it shouldn't be too hard to find.
But a cucumber in your pussy and make me a pie, useless shit.
Haha well I really miss my girlfriend and I was just looking for some stuff that could help me and I feel your pain.. I have had alot of troubled friendships in my life. Im not quite as old as you, but I know exactly where you are coming from. Myspace.com/blaze_goldman
Myspace faggot. STFU
lawl heres my myspace www.myspace.com/berniekosar...I dont mind getting to know you either
Myspace faggot. STFU