afraid of girls, HELP! (13)

1 Name: Eric Cartman : 2007-05-04 18:19 ID:/L9WhvCC

Not in the sense that I'm literally afraid of them and they give me nightmares, no, nothing like that. More like, afraid of approaching the ones that I'm attracted to because they might think I'm some weird stalker. Sometimes when the ones I'm attracted to hold the door open for me, I don't even acknowledge them because the idea of them being attracted to me seems odd in my mind and I'm afraid if I thank them, they'll regret showing courtesy towards me.

Some other info is that I'm very shy, hold some acquaintances and friends, but very few. I've never been in a relationship before and sometimes my emotions have been played around by girls I've been attracted to, others have just looked at me with disgust for no reason. Other times there have been girls I've been attracted to show interest in me and do no harm but as a result of said past experiences, I shied away and they usually seemed confused and I was just left with another feeling of regret at another missed chance. However I have no problems with social interaction with dudes and feel no fear or anything.

What do I do?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-05 02:24 ID:jB3+G4Ua

No pain = no gain

3 Name: Mega Orc : 2007-05-05 03:09 ID:SoR59dQS

grow some balls...as long as your friendly and can keep a girl interested in a conversation then its smooth sailing from there

4 Name: ( °ペ) : 2007-05-05 03:17 ID:VM3Lvlf+

I have a familiar situation. Whenever I think of anybody having feelings towards me I consider it quite odd, even wrong. I would say "Why would she fall for somebody like me, when there are hundreds of better guys out there not too far away from this classroom?" I used to consider love as a sickness °ペ Love is just a major distractor in life, another obstacle. I tended not to love, but I did a few times. The situation always went wrong and I occasionally broke up the relationship first. And then I think: why did I even love in first place?
I have become lonely /_\ I still have friends, many in fact. But no girlfriend. I see many of my friends dealing with a lot of girls but sticking with one. I instead deal with many people, but use them as a tool or as somebody else in life. I am sad. :<
I've been analyzing the present time: I have no girlfriend, I'm about to move, I'm afraid I will have a hard time in my new home, I have been struggling with my social life, and many other things in my past. Pondering, I was up in my rooftop about an hour ago. It was quarter past nine, pm, and the sky was orange. The city was abnormally bright, and I could still tell the time from my watch. I just watched the orange sky. About 20 minutes later I went back downstairs, only to find that I was locked out. I took the time to reflect upon my life. I think that I first have to break all those chains in my life in order to be free. I am a troubled person, even though people wouldn't believe me. I now see that I am a slave of my impulses, and have become destructive.
I can't become a better person, and can't get a girlfriend, if I don't break free. I feel like crying. Haven't cried in a long time.

5 Name: Bad Engrish : 2007-05-05 12:11 ID:t4PQ6nzo

yeah, I always do that to, find a quiet place and redempt my self. rather than find a way to find a girlfriend.
I wonder that I will never get a woman.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-05 12:19 ID:HhgbaJQD

Always say "thankyou" when someone opens the door for you. It's just plain common courtesy. It also makes it worthwhile for that person. Geez, it sounds like you should try holding the door sometime. Then you'd know how it feels not to be acknowledged.

Pah. You're scared of what people think of you. In turn, your actions appear to be rude and selfish to other people. Smile a little more, let your guard drop. People will start to notice you for your good points then.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-05 12:58 ID:am3fr3/N

I think you don't get this guy's point: it's not that he wants to be noticed.

Rather, he is afraid of girls liking him.

I understand that but however I've got no advice to give... still struggling with that myself.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-05 13:01 ID:Heaven

>>1
Perhaps you should start by getting a better pseudonym than "Eric Cartman". He's not exactly the ladies' man.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-06 04:49 ID:cjnU/2/b

>>1
Quick question, are you friends with any girls that you DON'T have a crush on? (IRL of course.) If not, start there. It'd be better to have a girl who you don't have a crush on think that you're a weirdo because you're really bad at talking/relating to girls.

If you ARE friends with some girls that you don't have a crush on, then you're either lying to yourself or you seriously need to grow some balls and get your mind off the whole "I have a crush on her ;_;" thing by the time you start talking to her... and that's NOT easier said than done, I've walked in your shoes, mate. Trust me, once you start talking you SHOULD have your mind off the whole thing, that is, unless there's something really wrong with you or in the extremely rare chance she does something really crazy like grab your hand or even hug you, but that's probably unlikely.

>>4
You don't need a girlfriend to not feel lonely.

You're either just feeling the pressure to have a girlfriend (which every guy feels, subconsciously or consciously; whether they want to admit it or not) or you're going through a subconscious scapegoat as to why you're lonely.

Either way, you DON'T need a girlfriend to fulfill the loneliness inside you and that's a silly thing to assume. You probably just don't feel intimately connected to your friends that much.

I also find it extremely hilarious that you thought about your loneliness in life... alone. Hehehe, maybe you should have talked to one of your "friends" about it? A good friend would have cared...

10 Name: Eric Cartman : 2007-05-06 05:02 ID:/L9WhvCC

>>8

You don't respect mah authoritah!

>>6

Yeah I kind of fit the social outcast cliche and aside from my interactions with a few acquaintances, I either ignored a lot of people or was treated with contempt by douche bags. Still happens today of course, but admittedly a lot of it is brought on by my own action as that was juvenile high school bs, in that I don't venture outside of my comfort zone enough.

>>7

Right on the mark. I look decent enough, it's just that I don't know how to reciprocate a woman's advances. Usually I puss out or make a total jackass out of myself because I think I will on both occasions and it's a terrible self-fulfilling prophecy.

But I suppose the only thing I can do is move forward. No point in letting the past control me. Thanks for the advice.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-06 08:02 ID:gTWHxAsU

Ever heard of the pickup line, "why go with the best, when you can go with the rest?". Got an idea now?

If not confidence, self-respect is what you lack, no offense meant there, just an analyzation from a fellow anonymous.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-06 09:24 ID:HhgbaJQD

>>10

>Right on the mark. I look decent enough..

That's for us to decide. Pics now or you lose ALL YOUR CREDIBILITY.

13 Name: argg : 2007-05-08 22:25 ID:if48i/JY

you my friend are pathetic

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