I give up (14)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 01:35 ID:hJqtNDQJ

All in 1 day:

Learn that my application for promotion was rejected arbitrally. The application was glanced at by my superiors, and two days later I was informed I did not get the job. It was today that I learned that it wasn’t for another three days that management began interviewing the applicants. This came as a surprise to my co-workers as I am already performing, and performing well, most of the work I was applying for. Probably because I only have partial college education (the job is High School degree and/or experience), that I took several weeks off last year caring for a bed-ridden parent (yes, that includes wiping their ass and turning them to stop bed sores), and paragraph #3 below.

Everything I own is breaking or broken—or has been replaced over the past three years. TV? Won’t turn on. Monitor? At it’s brightest setting it’s about half as bright as the monitors at work. Bathtub? Hole where there shouldn’t be. Refrigerator? Busted for two days. I’m barely not in debt, though I’m living paycheck to paycheck, and will be for some time.

A psycho-bitch co-worker asked me out on a date. This wouldn’t be a completely bad thing, except that she is immature and four months ago she tried to start rumors about my sexual orientation when I ignored her advances. The reason for her sudden re-interest? She broke-up with her boyfriend (another co-worker) after catching him with another woman. She is also trying to win him back. Oh yeah, and these two love-birds were disciplined two or three months ago after they were caught screwing each other in a stairwell. She’ll start shit again when she realizes I want no part of her or her drama.

I informed my superiors about this possible problem today (they are fully aware of what had happened previously, and it had been my choice not to pursue sexual harassment charges against her since I was able to take a shift that I both wanted and had minimal contact with her instead – it kept everything out of my official employment records)…and their response was disinterest. Or more precisely, they all-but accused me of trying to start something, when all I was doing was trying to give them pre-warning of possible problems. I never gave them details, just that she was contacting me for dates again and I wanted nothing to do with her.

A young woman I am interested in blew me off again for a first date. She says she wants to go out with me, but each time I try to set a day/time she reneges. I might give it one more shot, then after that just forget it…I’m not sure. I might just make a colossal blunder and give her control of scheduling.

I figure those last three paragraphs fit in this board. I feel like just giving it all up and become a mindless drone at this rate, but I’m open to suggestions.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 05:48 ID:fdLigYrY

Hmm...yeah, that sucks.

1st paragraph ---> A shame you didn't get the job...I would consider working for another company or trying again, but from the sound of it they aren't even considering your app.

2nd paragraph ---> Yes, I'm poor too. But I try to be pragmatic about things and just keep stuff working as long as possible. At least the monitor works..but heck, you could try looking for an old crt at a local goodwill for a few bucks. I did and it works fine. Bathtub..maybe I'd try filling in the hole w/ caulk or something. Oh, and maybe some better money management could help so you can start saving. For instance, to save money I've just been getting one or two dollar burgers from fast-food joints instead of getting combos or going to buffets. Just remember, things could always be worse than they are..

3rd paragraph ---> all you can do is ignore her dude..from the sound of it she doesn't seem like a reliable source of information anyway. People will know your integrity by your actions, so I wouldn't let it get to ya.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 05:50 ID:fdLigYrY

>>1
oh yeah, DON'T GIVE UP! ^^

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 06:55 ID:8Nqind66

If she's a psycho nobody will listen to her anyway. Let her flail around, you aren't doing anything wrong by turning her down.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 07:35 ID:c1Fr4bXI

What >>3 said, don't give up.

I'm just an anonymous on a message board, but you know and I know that bad days happen. This might have been your worst. Whatever, just pick things up and go at it again. I won't say that the only way you can go is up, because things can always get worse. But you seem like a good person who doesn't deserve all the shit you've been getting.

I'm not really one for advice, but I will cheer you on. Just know that one anonymous has hope for you.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 12:14 ID:CcQjYT/q

>>2
Any advice for paragraphs 4-6?

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 12:16 ID:okz6fxCb

I think I read your last thread a few months ago. It was something to do with the office whore with a big mouth and you trying to move to a job position away from her(?).
Anyway, sucks that your life hasn't improved since then.
You've done all that's in your power to try and get yourself out of a hole, so you're definitely not to blame. I guess if I were in your position, I would work to polish up my resume (perhaps doing volunteer work from time to time. Who knows, might be therapeutic), stay focused, and keep your goals. Don't resign yourself to a lowly office position for the rest of your life. If you're not going to get an opportunity from this boss, then switch bosses. That is, stay dedicated to your work, but at the same time, keep an eye out for job positions at other companies.

As for the whore-bag, be civil, but professional with her. Earn a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Don't let her get to you. You're a man, stand your ground and solve your own problems. If you can't manage a single woman, then how are you going to deal with relationships up the ladder? If you're going to be a manager (or whatever), well, you're going to have to manage people. Those are the qualities your superior will be looking for when they consider your promotion application. I have a feeling that your shift proposal might have played a part in the promotion rejection. Just wait it out and try again a few months later.

And the girl of interest. Push her for a straight answer dammit. Yes means yes, no means no. At least you'd know whether to move on or not.

If you weren't so financially strapped, I would recommend getting a dog. They really are a man's best friend.

Anyway, you sound like a very decent guy, so whatever you end up doing, I wish you all the best.

Ps: Mondays suck D:

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 19:22 ID:fdLigYrY

>>6
haha, I didn't click on 'see whole post'...ah well. You get the idea, just hang in there!

9 Post deleted by moderator.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-14 21:05 ID:fdLigYrY

>>9
It's called a 'space bar'. Use it.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-15 16:14 ID:ysNDfufH

I found out yesterday that the reason she'd been hem-hawing is because a few months ago she became "exclusive" with another guy, and she wasn't certain what my intentions were (and we'd both been sick off-and on for 7 weeks). So, yeah, did I simply mis-interpret her touchyness and the way her entire face would light-up and how her voice would soften whenever she saw/spoke with me (up to last Sunday) as interest for something else, or am I being jerked around?

Yet she also wants to meet up with me for coffee later this week. Considering my dating experience is null, I have no idea how to interpret any of this. I'm thinking it's a pity/consolitory/'let's be friends' get together though?

I also learned that, just as I had anticipated, psycho-girl had asked me out so she could make herself still feel desirable, and my superiors are not happy with me because they feel I am over-reacting to nothing and now feel that I am the one causing "drama". In a couple of days I will confront my supervisor directly and request a yes or no answer to if this company is going to be a long-term career opportunity for me based on their personal views of me and my personnel file.

On a happier note I'm getting an MRI next week so the surgeons know what part of my back to operate on (again), and my disabled mother I've been taking care of for the last year just might be able to drive me home from said operation instead of me having to ask a co-worker to drive me home.

Could this year get any shittier? Scratch that, my Magic 8 Ball just told me I won't have a job next month.

I think I'm going to go find an emo to out-emo.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-23 06:11 ID:VS7HNtlv

>>11
Okay, so hopefully last note about this. She decided to call-off the coffee-date via email, stating that she'd forgotten an appointment she had made a week or so previously. Since this is the 4th time she's broken-off any sort of meeting I replied via email that it was fine, and that it's my fault for waiting so long to ask her out (I usually don't date co-workers, and it took me 8 months to break down and ask her out). She replied back that she appreciated my honesty and she hopes we can still joke around with each other. Not even "be friends", just "joke around".

Can you say, "Just fuck the whole thing?"

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-24 02:37 ID:Heaven

That all really isn't so bad, I know people who have been through much worse.

If I were the OP I'd sue the employer for allowing sexual harassment to occur.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-27 02:18 ID:zJZJCxsp

>>13
Actually I'm not that bothered about her. She's already on final warning for having sex in the stairwell with another co-worker and leaving the condom behind. So is he, of course.

This employer is REALLY lenient. If I'd been their boss I would have canned their asses.

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