Wryyyyyyy? (26)

1 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-18 06:00 ID:2UqW5Lta

Okay, so...
i am a tarp; a very eccentric tarp, but intelligent, decently attractive (easily passable, at least), and, i think, a nice, considerate and substantial person. i certainly think there's someone out there for me, buuuut... Every time i'm attracted to someone, they turn out to be out of reach. i kid you not.

The nice girl from high school - straight.
My best friend lawl - has a boyfriend.
The awesome quiet metal dude i hang out with at college - has a girlfriend.
The quiet hippie guy who spends all his time volunteering at homeless shelters - has a girlfriend too.
&c.

Basically, everyone i have crushed on at some point is out of reach: they've got the wrong sexual orientation, they're taken, and the few left just aren't attracted to me. i'm convinced i'm a decently desirable person, but those who are attracted to me are.. well, not exactly the top of the pops.

i'm a weird, gothy trap. i'm into strange music, and overwhelm many people with my personality. Those who get over my quirks, though, tend to like me as a person. i'm just not sure where to look, or what to do. -,..,- i go to college, but only the nerds hang out with me, because everyone else is as scared of me as i am of them. There's nothing wrong with nerds, mind you - if i didn't like nerds, i wouldn't be here on 4-ch.

There is one guy who seems to like me, buuut... i dunno. He seems nice, but he's kinda slick and hip-hoppy, and tried to tell me (albeit gently) to change my look and be more femme. i don't think i can do that. -,..,-

Advice? i can't spend my life single~! MELODRAMAAAA~!!! π,..,π

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-18 12:44 ID:87i/zUVU

what is tarp? trap?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-18 12:50 ID:yCKXh70M

tarp as in tarpoline.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-18 14:00 ID:87i/zUVU

meaning?

5 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-18 14:26 ID:2UqW5Lta

Yes, tarp as in trap, as in male-to-female transsexual. :D

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-18 21:02 ID:Hc8iIPAP

PICS

7 Post deleted by moderator.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-19 15:54 ID:87i/zUVU

how can you be tarp and in high school at the same time?

9 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-19 17:57 ID:2UqW5Lta

i was going to a state-funded alternative high school - also, i only started transitioning midway through my senior year.

10 Post deleted by moderator.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-19 21:06 ID:K3jky8xP

> i'm a weird, gothy trap. i'm into strange music

It sounds like I would hate you if I ever met you. I'd probably slap sense into you. But I have advice anyway. I'm a really quirky person too. When you have this sort of bizarre, difficult-to-understand personality, you won't make many friends. There are only two things you can do:

  1. Be patient
  2. Blend in more

You can have unlimited patience and end up like the dog in Futurama. Or you can blend in entirely and lose your personality. Figure out a balance. Wearing more normal clothes would be a start.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-19 23:17 ID:2t6kz0NJ

>>8
You would be a transsexual from birth....

13 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-20 00:11 ID:2UqW5Lta

>>11 But if i wear more "normal" clothes, i feel uncomfortable and out of my element. i mean, i don't always dress up a whole lot - sometimes i just go with black pants, a band shirt, my combat boots and black lipstick. But if i were to go out and buy a bunch of stuff from the Gap or something, i don't think i would end up wearing it. It just doesn't feel right.

14 Name: 11 : 2007-05-20 04:16 ID:O9nQBtYJ

black lipstick is bad enough. it makes you intimidating to people who might be your friend.

15 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-20 05:19 ID:2UqW5Lta

>>14
If they're a real, reasonably broad-minded person, can't they look past the lipstick and take a decent whack at finding out who i am as a person? And if they can't, why do i want them as a friend?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-20 16:05 ID:A1scUCoR

>>15
Because you want to mix in a tad more? And maybe they'll be not as far as friends, but acquaintances is enough?

17 Post deleted by moderator.

18 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-21 05:54 ID:2UqW5Lta

>>16 i want to mix in? Er... no.

YOU want me to mix in, because you're uncomfortable with me and people like me, and YOU don't want to have to deal with people like me walking down the street.

The thing is, i'm living my life how i see fit, and it has nothing to do with you for better or for worse. It suits some people to fit in, others to stand out a bit, and yet others (such as myself) to stand out a lot. That's just my personality. Fundamentally, i'm doing what i'm doing because i like it. i'm sure what i like will change with time, but just about the only place you're going to see me tone down and mix in as much as possible is at work.

As for supressing my personality to attract a ton of acquaintences, i neither want nor need a ton of acquaintences who don't get who i really am. Sorry, buddy. Have a nice evening.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-21 12:25 ID:xJ5PPzEf

I admire your resilience. It's fucking awesome. Just hang in there I'm pretty sure you'll find someone.

One of the problems is that you're surrounding yourself with people who are pretty narrow minded. My advice is to seek out a place where there would be more accepting people. It doesn't have to mean that you need to go find a bunch of goths to hang out with either.

20 Post deleted by moderator.

21 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-21 18:15 ID:2UqW5Lta

>>19 Why thank you! :) i kind of wish i could move to the city (i'm near San Francisco), but that doesn't seem very doable at the moment. At least then i would have a better stock of people to choose from...

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-21 19:26 ID:7H1lhf+b

>>21 Why thank you! :) i kind of shit i could move to the (i'm near San Francisco), but that doesn't seem very doable at the moment. At least then i would have a better stock of people to choose from...

23 Name: Tarp Number One : 2007-05-22 04:19 ID:2UqW5Lta

"Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of a few and number not the voices, but weigh them."
-Immanuel Kant

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 16:58 ID:Heaven

Well, fine, but realise you're choosing to "stand out a lot" and that it has ramifications - however unfair they may seem. To most people, you probably look like too much of a hassle to get to know when there's plenty of "normal" people they can talk to. If you don't like the crowd you attract, understand why at least.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 19:56 ID:2UqW5Lta

>>24 No risk, no reward, ja?

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-05-22 22:20 ID:FtHx6yMo

>>25 Why thank you! :) i kind of wish i could move to the city (i'm near San Francisco), but that doesn't seem very doable at the moment. At least then i would have a better stock of people to choose from...

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