>>What if I end up in a relationship. MY FIRST relationship. And it turns out to be a disaster and that rapes my ego and changes my heart?
Well then, that will really really suck but you'll just have to deal with it. You'll hava to keep this( >>women are not attracted to distrustful losers ) in mind if your one time relationship doesn't work out.
but this isn't one of those fucking magical plush machines where you always get a prize the first time. This will take time and effort and hopefully it won't hurt too bad. But in the end I'm sure it's worth it.