Whats the big deal with "I love you" (33)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-10 02:19 ID:VY8E+rNn

what gives?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-10 02:19 ID:Heaven

it's shit

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 14:35 ID:UGRQWNs4

No clue
Makes me feel like a failure just because I wont say it back

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 14:45 ID:9sdsN1Qo

means a lot to some people. many of them don't understand it much themselves.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 15:42 ID:x5qMiFNC

It's the best sentences to whisper in a loved person's ear.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 19:11 ID:iXiqhNjc

it means you're getting laid tonite

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 19:46 ID:Heaven

Saying the sentence supposedly shows that you have labeled your feelings as and are experiencing love, rather than a combination of lust and convenience.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 20:17 ID:1t1v+rV+

Means nothing if you say it usually. Should be keep for special moments.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 21:07 ID:Mtn6ug0z

I say bullshit

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 23:35 ID:osjfnX4u

It's a phrase to make other people feel better about themselves. However, without the feelings to go with it, it's something that will just end up hurting people. Use with caution.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 14:35 ID:VY8E+rNn

OP here, use caution eh? hmm do you think i should be the first to say it to my girl or as a man should i wait.

12 Name: Touch of Ink. : 2007-06-13 15:21 ID:S5qIOKxf

Oh my god... I just woke up this morning and I was going to write a post on this. Like I was thinking about "I Love you" and every other phrase that goes along with it.

In 48 Laws of Power, there is the law of "Keep all your intentions hidden" And it's painful to say but it's true. There are some girls that I honestly felt like I was falling in Love with.

But the moment you tell a girl that, the moment you reveal it, they lose all interest, even after they've made out with you. It pisses me off how girls in a sense "want" it to be hidden, they almost want to have a guy that doesn't Love them until much much later into the relationship.

Although as I write this I guess it would make sense. The woman wants to be known before she's told that she's worthy of being Loved, rather than being Loved for what can be known in the first few days. But at the same time, in my experience, women want to have sex in the first one or two weeks.

I think a lot of guys get thrown off by that. Lots of guys think Meet > Friends > Love > Sex. Whereas with girls it's like... Meet > Sex > Friends > Love. Sequentially a lot of guys think that you have to gradually move up to sex, but in reality, falling in Love is moving too fast more than having sex. Even with "nice" girls, or "innocent" girls.

>>5 True. I guess it's only good for when the girl finally Loves you first.

13 Post deleted by moderator.

14 Post deleted by moderator.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 22:30 ID:Heaven

>It pisses me off how girls in a sense "want" it to be hidden, they almost want to have a guy that doesn't Love them until much much later into the relationship.

So the solution is wait until much later in the relationship before you say it, or even never say it before she does?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 22:47 ID:mAUVCg+V

That word comes with so many responsibilities for me and all of them aren't easy at all...

17 Name: Touch of Ink : 2007-06-14 06:57 ID:S5qIOKxf

>>15
...
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...
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...By Jove, I think he's got it!!!

18 Post deleted by moderator.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 08:31 ID:Heaven

i love love

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 14:19 ID:VY8E+rNn

i hate hate

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 20:15 ID:Heaven

i love hats

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-15 00:02 ID:1d+zT13B

>>12

This is stupid and frustrating. It would be a better world if everyone would be able to say "I love you" when they become sure of that.
When I like a girl, why should I be punished for actually showing it? Why do I have to hide it and act like she's not important to me?
Good thing is that you can't generalize every situation (and every person) with that approach, and there (hopefully) are women that value honesty. (Anyway, all of this matters to me only if it can be applied to the girl I'm in love with. And if somehow I'm able to get together with her, none of this will matter. I don't give a damn about rest of the world's female population, and I think many of you people feel the same, if you're in love...)

Sorry for my stupid rambling, this is just a rant by an inexperienced and quite depressed 19 year old...

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-15 00:41 ID:Heaven

>>22
If it makes you feel better, I told my girlfriend I loved her before we had even kissed, and she didn't run the other direction. Just remember that for every generalization, there is an exception.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-15 02:11 ID:U0G4GufU

It's a very powerful phrase...

I can say, as someone who had it told to him, (albeit falsely), that it causes you to feel completely differently about someone...

(Granted, as I said, in my case, the girl saying this phrase didn't really mean it, and was apparently getting carried away when she said it, as she wasn't mature enough to handle a relationship, and realized that later, but still, regardless)

I believe in saying it when you actually feel it in your heart... I don't hide my emotions, and if I truly love someone, I'm going to say it to them...

When they say it to you, it means that you've got a place in their heart, and it makes you go through a range of emotions, ranging from amazement, to incredible warmth, to giddiness & absolute joy...

Thus, again, it's not a phrase to use lightly, but when used, it's an incredible phrase; Frankly, I think in today's world, it needs to be used more often, and there shouldn't be the fear to use it that exists currently...

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-16 00:51 ID:mSk1gp79

If you really loved someone I think you needen't ever say those words.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-16 08:49 ID:Heaven

>>25
That doesn't work either. Main complaint from my ex was that I didn't say it often enough.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 01:57 ID:x1YZZRH3

From what I've read in the thread, it appears to vary from one girl to another. Otherwise, I agree with >>12.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 09:46 ID:v0Cl9GnB

What I'd like to know is whether 好き has the same fear inducing properties over in Japan.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 14:11 ID:Heaven

>>28
All the cool kids use ラブ these days.

30 Name: Rosa : 2007-06-24 17:47 ID:BF45SuJa

what's the deal with "i love you"?
That´s a phrase you only get to say if you truly love somebody, and if the recipient of your affection doesn't even react or lose interest in you, that means he/she doesn´t care about you. So it´s a nice way of testing your lover's feelings.
There are many girls that want their boyfriend to say it often (cheesy,right?), and that´s because for them hearing it is one way to feel their affection.Remember to find which type is your girl/boyfriend: visual, auditive or kinaesthetic type; and then please their whims!
For instance, i´m a girl and i feel love not with words, but with actions. Just looking at my boyfriend reactions and smiles just feel me happy and loved, and that´s the most important matter to me.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 18:21 ID:Heaven

>>28 is wapanese

32 Name: Rosa : 2007-06-24 18:23 ID:BF45SuJa

>>28 i don´t speak japanese lol
in fact this is my first time in a bbs

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-27 15:17 ID:Heaven

Expressing such thoughts verbally leave a person in a very vulnerable position.
It's like skydiving; after jumping it, there's no going back.

There are people out there who have no problem saying or doing anything with their fingers crossed, just to use someone for sex, gifts or anything else.

If someone is anxious about saying it, that could be a sign that when they express themselves, they really mean it.

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