I'm a girl, how should I be? (54)

1 Name: Android : 2007-06-11 14:28 ID:ys5gTTRh

Ive been going out with a guy for a few months now.
Hes the sort you find around these places, hes very nice without being a creep. He loves me.
Unfortunately Im not as nice and perfect so Ill just have to pretend.

What sort of things do you guys look for a in a girlfriend?
I want to be the cute moe sort but dont know how.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 19:44 ID:Heaven

>>1
Be yourself. Don't force yourself to pretend someone you are not. If the guy is with you because he doesn't like you, but because he can use you as a living canvas for his fantasies and stereotypes, ditch him.

If you do want to adopt moe qualities, they're mostly about being weak, pitiful and silly in a cute and adorable way that embarrasses you/you feebly try to deny.

Give us more info to work with, will ya?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 20:25 ID:Heaven

You should be you. Just that.

I don't know how is your bf, but I prefer a honest person that never lies than one that act to impress me.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 22:41 ID:Heaven

the easiest answer, and probably the one you want to hear, is to just be yo'self kid. but honestly, its okay to make changes for the better, in fact, i would consider it an absolute must. if you have qualities that you don't think are good, or you know of qualities that enhance you as a person, yet you lack, then upgrade. its proper, practical, and ethical. what are the sorts of things guys look for in girlfriends? the same thing girls look for in boyfriends, love and affection. you can never go wrong in showing love and affection whenever possible. if your boyfriend likes you to do certain things, or certain things you do make your boyfriend happy, then doing those things for him will make you happy too, trust me. same thing goes for guys. within reason of course.
if you were my girlfriend i would want you to continually better yourself and wear my shirts to bed.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-11 23:50 ID:4oRXW55R

>Ive been going out with a guy for a few months now.
Hes the sort you find around these places, hes very nice without being a creep. He loves me.
Unfortunately Im not as nice and perfect so Ill just have to pretend.

He loves you. Do you love him? You make it sound like you're only going out with hi because of HIS feelings. I can't get the feeling that you don't feel too strongly about him. If that's the case, sort your own feelings out first. Don't change yourself for someone you don't love.
Actually, there is no reason you should "pretend". As you said, he loves you. Present tense. If he already loves you the way you are, why should you put your relationship at risk by pretending to be something you're not?

Besides, a girl trying too hard to be "cute" when that's not the way they are is a little disgusting, no? If you consider the guy's feelings, I think he would be saddened that you have to act like that because of him.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-12 19:26 ID:ZUil/nOe

>>1
What exactly is it about you that is "not so nice and perfect", and how have you concealed it in the months you have dated? You think he loves you, but how do you feel about him? Can you really say he loves you if it's not really "you" that he loves?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 00:09 ID:Heaven

For building moe appeal, you can't go wrong with cooking. Making lunches and such. Try to get a little closer physically. For example, if you walk together grab his arm and smile, using the pretext of staying warm. Play footsie now and then. Wear above-the-knee socks with skirts short enough to leave one or two inches of bare thigh. Let your hair grow long and try a variety of styles like twintails or ponytails. If he has old shirts or t-shirts, ask if you can have them to use as a nightshirt. If he asks why, say it's because the scent reminds you of him.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 13:20 ID:aDvqYplJ

>>10

>>Wear above-the-knee socks with skirts short enough to leave one or two inches of bare thigh.

OP, if you want to get technical and analytical about this, there's a formula called the "absolute proportion moe" that you can follow. It specifies the ratio of skirt length to knee sock length, and works as follows:

Establish the distance A between the bottem hem of the skirt and the upper hem of the knee socks as being 1 unit.

Provided this, then the distance B between the hips* and the bottom hem of the skirt should measure 2 units.

The distance C between the upper hem of the knee socks and the knee joint should measure 3 units.

This 1:2:3 ratio between distances A, B, and C is the heart of the absolute proportion theory. It has been scientifically formulated to instill maximum feelings of protectiveness and adoration in anyone who views its proper application. Use this knowledge for care -- do not let it fall into the hands of those who would use it for evil.

  • This only holds true if the belt line of the skirt rests at the hips (what we tend to erroneously call the "waist"). If the belt line for your particular skirt rests at the biological waist (above the belly-button), then the formula admittedly falls apart. I am not aware of an alternate version of the formula that takes into account skirts worn at the waist.

12 Name: Touch of Ink. : 2007-06-13 15:34 ID:t4ZrBtFZ

What the fuck is wrong with these "Be yourself" people. You know there IS the intention that OP wanted to be better for her boyfriend. She finds him attractive and valuable, thus she wants to be a better person for him. She wants to be Innocent Moe, so she desires to be Moe. That's part of who she is. Not what someone else told her to be.

Fuck "Be yourself"... Be who you "want" to be.

And she wants to be that.

I think personality wise, the innocent girls can be extremely conniving and even deceptive. But they're not proud, they're still extremely humble and realize that they're not the center of the world. Examples of this can be in how they really want something but refuse to admit to it IE Holding on to his arm with the pretext of staying warm.

It's cute because you don't really want to admit that you just want to hold his arm do you? But eventually something REALLY cute is when you confess that that's all you wanted to do. Let that happen naturally though.

Be AFFECTIONATE. But Fear Affection. It means so much more to a man knowing that a girl is doing something she is afraid of because she wants both of you to be closer, than a girl doing something that she's done a million times. This sort of action is the kind of thing that makes a man feel like he's a million times taller and valuable.

For instance, let's say this guy hypothetically gets blowjobs from tons of attractive girls right? But all these girls give blowjobs to a lot of people. It really doesn't make it seem all that valuable. But for one girl who never lets anyone even TOUCH her because she's afraid of it(or many reasons), to want to hold or be held by someone is extremely valuable.

Proportionately, a girl who never lets anyone touch her out of fear, is giving even MORE valuable by giving a Kiss away. It's proportionate.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 16:03 ID:5G7Ohcwv

>>11 i dont get it.
so the skirt hangs from the hips, and then if we take the distance from heel to hipline (topside of skirt), socks reach up one half, while skirt reaches down one third, leaving one sixth of bare leg between skirt and socks???

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 16:53 ID:aDvqYplJ

>>13

Measured from the knee, not the hipline. All those distances are relative to the length of the thigh.

Although, this post was originally meant to detail an example of how absolute proportion could be applied to lengths in inches. However, I discovered an unfortunate detail while trying to apply the formula to myself (hey, if I had a girl to test out these measurements on, I wouldn't be posting here, now would I?).

Absolute proportion theory cannot be applied to real girls without showing the danger zone. The ratio amongst the various distances is such that the skirt would be so short that it wouldn't hang down past the groin, unless one wore the skirt very low on the hipline.

This could perhaps be viewed as more evidence that moe and reality are fundamentally incompatible with one another.

orz

15 Name: 14 : 2007-06-13 16:56 ID:aDvqYplJ

>>14

Actually, that first sentence should read, "measured from the knee, not the heel." My bad.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-13 17:10 ID:Heaven

>>11
I think you're going to have to link to a diagram. Where did you get this research, anyway?

17 Name: 14 : 2007-06-13 17:34 ID:aDvqYplJ

>>16

From a panel at an anime convention regarding a software game that would use moe concepts to tech English to Japanese otaku. As part of the presentation, the developers explained the moe principles that they incorporated into the game. Absolute proportion theory was one of these, and influenced the design of the game's main character, whose profile and picture can be seen here:

hxxp://www.moegaku.jp/02moe.html

18 Post deleted by moderator.

19 Post deleted by moderator.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-14 09:53 ID:PCku5WIh

>>12

>Fuck "Be yourself"... Be who you "want" to be.

Couldn't have expressed it better myself...I'm tired of these people who keep repeating stuff like "Be yourself!" in threads like these..

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-15 11:27 ID:Heaven

>>12,20
Perhaps I wasn't clear enough in >>5, acting as something you're not is not the same as adopting different traits. The latter is when you make new traits a natural part of you, the former is when you make yourself act in a way that does not come natural to you, and you have a permanent hesitation/uncertainty regarding your act. An act, rather than simply behavior modifications
I was questioning OP's desire to be moe, as people often try to behave in certain ways to please others, when their heart isn't really into it. That sorta stuff usually ends badly and with bitterness.

>girl who never lets anyone even TOUCH her because she's afraid of it

Girls who are afraid like that are sad =( I'm all for shy cuties, but actual fear is just to crippling and makes the person seem more like a beaten animal than a real person. Some sort of injured pet to nurture and treat.
Makes me sad. I hope OP will not make herself such a shadow of a human (it's easy to condition yourself to develop new fears and phobias, a lot less easy to get rid of those).
Being yourself is being who you want to be, not who you feel you should be to get their approval/interest. The two are sometimes the same, but often not. It usually causes frustration and misery in the latter cases, as nobody likes to act 24/7.

If OP really does feel that being moe is an improvement that would make her happier, then that's great. But without a direct desire to become like that for her own sake (rather than just because she will be happy because her boyfriend will be happpy) it won't go too smoothly.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-16 03:57 ID:I0AcR8AN

I can understand OP-san.

I agree that it helps to change a little. But it also really depends on your bf. Maybe he likes moe girls or maybe he likes the independent feisty types. So try to change for the good and towards the preferences of your bf.

I think there's a general consensus that guys prefer 'cute' girls in a relationship. They're easier to fall in love with while hot girls are just something guys want to bang. Well that's what I was told.

Maybe not so timid and quiet cute, cause that can get really boring sometimes. Maybe be a little unconventional but cute at the same time. I find that it works a lot of the time. It's like being active and not so submissive. Like a subtle way is like suddenly climbing up onto the fence or something and walking along it like a balancing beam, while your bf holds your hand. Hm, maybe I'm trying to say being more childish and fun?

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-16 15:02 ID:Heaven

More childish?! Do these guys want women, or fuckable version of children?!? How old are you people?!

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-16 23:55 ID:ZUil/nOe

>>17
http://d.hatena.ne.jp/keyword/%C0%E4%C2%D0%CE%CE%B0%E8?kid=24613
There seem to be varying schools of thought on the subject as this site has a skirt:gap:sock-above-knee ratio of 4:1:2.5. Anyway, as long as the knees are covered by socks and there's some kind of gap, it should be enough to suffice for a real person, as well as allowing for a somewhat modest skirt length. However, we're going off on a tangent here.

>>12 brings up a good point about certain types of contradictions in character, the "moe gap". The clumsy girl who always tries hard. The tsundere. The loli face with big boobs. It's a fine balancing act between innocence and experience, honesty and self-denial. Like he said, affection is important, and all the more effective if you can make him conscious of the exclusivity of your feelings.

All we know about her is that she doesn't think she is as good of a person as her boyfriend. This could imply almost anything, from cutting to wierd fetishes to simply underacheiving in school or work. I wish she would reply and tell us more.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-17 18:28 ID:Heaven

>>24 i think he meant childish as in, fun and relaxed.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-19 04:32 ID:Heaven

more like im a little smartass, amirite?

27 Name: Android : 2007-06-20 00:17 ID:ys5gTTRh

>>12
I wanted to say thankyou for being the first one here to get my veiw. I want to change, I believe that if its for the better then it's a good thing.

I originally didn't put in much detail because I didn't want to be too self centered but I guess a little bit of fact might help.
I am quite blunt and relatively honest, I talk an awful lot about nothing so I dont say anything too personal. I am very aware of how to exploit people but have a guilt complex that stops me from doing so. I can be quite motherly but I will never say 'I love you'. I wear a lot of colours but with goth-loli influences, so the >>10 stuff will be put to use.

My boyfriend is very quiet, nice, shy and open at his belief of love. I have no idea what his -thing- is, I've even asked him about fettishes before but he just shrugs until Ive persisted too much. It means so much to me everytime hes so good to me but I know Im too smart to tell him so id like to convey the message without words whilst seeming more derserving of it. I feel that him loving a facade is still me, just another me. (I just hope he doesn't use iichan chat)

I would like to thank everyone thas contributed it means a lot to me. Thankyou.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-20 04:04 ID:Heaven

>Im too smart to tell him

How can one be too "smart" to be open with one's feelings? I'm confused.

29 Name: Tsukiko : 2007-06-20 05:25 ID:WiRYxBiR

I think the trick is not to try too hard to please him. I mean, if he wanted a girl that waited on him hand and foot, he could just fall for a robot or a maid or a waitress or something. He's with you because he's comfortable with you, right? Maybe the best thing to do is show that you're comfortable around him, too, and the best way to do that is to tell him all the stuff you've been posting here. It's a lot to ask to be honest, but to gain trust you've gotta give it, right?

30 Name: First-Failure : 2007-06-20 05:49 ID:lXe94CiS

Act less than your age. My cousin's 21 and she acts like she's 16, and was confused for one by my other cousin.

Watch some cutey-girl animes. I recommend Getsumen to Heiki Miina. Try to be like Mina in that show.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-20 14:59 ID:Heaven

Or try to be like Shinku, because Shinku is the cutest.

32 Name: Rosa : 2007-06-24 17:23 ID:GIXpOTtR

you have to be honest, because if you try to be anyone else, you'll be lying to yourself... it's a real shame to love someone who doesn´t show their true self. Try to know him better, and support him, with a very bit of luck you'll be doing just fine.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-24 20:56 ID:Ari4vqQ/

Cook, Clean, and Fuck?

34 Name: No Name-san : 2007-06-25 17:52 ID:A3mIOc9+

ii learned this on Densha Otoko.
just be yourself..ii know he will accept who you are.
you dont have to pretend to be all nice...
you can just act from what your comfortable with..
like ii said..ii know he'll accept who you are. =]

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-06-25 20:48 ID:Heaven

>>34
So changing his wardrobe, changing his hair, taking up new hobbies, was all "being himself"? Sorry, but that's just about the one thing you can't learn from Densha Otoko. :P

36 Name: No Name-san : 2007-06-26 00:44 ID:Heaven

haha..
that's not what ii meant..
his Otaku self IS being himself.
damn..think before you speak..

and ii wasnt making full references on TrainMan.
gee

37 Name: grammar nazi : 2007-06-27 02:47 ID:Heaven

>>34
>>36
Never thought to see something like this, but...:

The nominative singular pronoun, used by a speaker in referring to himself or herself, is spelt with just one 'i'
"I learned this on Densha Otoko."

38 Name: Android : 2007-12-01 01:33 ID:+A0OGCiU

Well, I tried a bit of both, really.
At first I tried ribbons and bringing him cakes and being more childish than ever.
And then I tried being myself but a bit warmer and less blunt.
And then I just tried being myself.
It was like a slow progression through the three, I hope it didn't seem too unnatural. He seems pretty in love and all that.
Still don't know what his fettish is.

Seriously, how could a guy watch his girlfriend become SEVERAL different people without asking much or changing his approach himself? What do guys want these days?!

For anyone who was following, I think Android is in love with the boy that loves her. I can ignore that he loved each fake version of me, because he doesn't seem to have any problems with the more natural me.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-01 05:38 ID:HnXmLnlz

This thread makes me want to buy thigh-high socks and dress cute again.

I do approve.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-01 09:11 ID:qv1cH0JD

This thread is heart-warming... in a weird way.

>Seriously, how could a guy watch his girlfriend become SEVERAL different people without asking much or changing his approach himself? What do guys want these days?!

Even while doing those things, you were probably still "you" throughout.

If I liked a girl and she suddenly changed a bit, as long as it wasn't in a bad way I probably wouldn't question it.

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-01 10:30 ID:EcjB6xuA

Ooh, this is interesting. I totally get that way of thinking, >>40 ! People change constantly, it's a behavior that goes all the way down to your cells.

Well anyway, Android, keep communications open with your fella. Not stuff like "Hey you, what gets you all hot and bothered?", though I guess that's obvious. I mean things like small talk. Even if you're just talking about how the day went or how food was at some place you ate, you'll be able to gather information about his likes and dislikes, things he finds interesting, et cetera. And you can use all that to your advantage.

I guess I didn't really have all that much to add, but it's worth keeping in mind how essential knowledge is.

42 Name: Warlord Kentax : 2007-12-02 03:55 ID:SXSwQFnk

I want a girl that loves me and certainly one that will listen to anything I say (I mean LISTEN to, not obey) one that I can listen too and understand, one that puts love before sex, one that is smart and logical, one that likes to exercise but they dont have to be skinny being overweight is ok, but obese is not, one that cares about the environment, one that shares at least one or two of my hobbies, one that isnt afraid to express their opinion, one that thinks to the future and the repercussions of their actions (not just the long-term ones but the really long-term ones, like 1000 years far, I think about it in relation to myself I'd like it if she could too.)

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-02 03:56 ID:SXSwQFnk

woops, said my name.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-02 18:05 ID:Heaven

>>43

>>woops

Suuuuuure. Be honest here; you're secretly hoping we'll all google your facebook profile.

45 Name: WLK : 2007-12-03 08:23 ID:SXSwQFnk

>>44
I have no facebook profile,nor myspace profile.

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-03 09:42 ID:Heaven

What is this shit?

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-03 17:53 ID:sCxAcD/A

>>47

Makin' fun of Kentax for not blending with the rest of us, I guess. Anonymity enforces itself!

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-03 18:04 ID:Heaven

>>48

I meant the whole thread, actually. What's the topic? Wanna be moe? How do you do it? Here are some good tips! Unrelentingly gay...

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-03 22:42 ID:qJgxQL01

M O E! M O E! M O E!

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-04 00:18 ID:Heaven

>>49

You can't "be" moe, infidel.

That's like saying you can be fury or joy, which you obviously cannot. Unless you're some sort of freak super-soldier with a bizarre signature attack.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-04 01:47 ID:Heaven

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-04 02:57 ID:Heaven

>>46

> 4Chan
> Great Board oriented site, everything from hentai to real insects

Dear lord, a formicophiliac.

54 Name: Warlord Spandex : 2007-12-08 10:43 ID:bvtnamFn

>>46
lol

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.