Simple but popular questions. A few friends who I know that are shy when it comes to hooking up with girls will take forever to reach one. (this is to the majority of asian guys)
So to start, where do you meet girls?
Clubs & dance parties? they would seem slutty.. drinking, smoking...?? and a high chance they just want fun and money.
Highschool? If you're not there anymore, then youd be called paedophile.
Universities? Could be a good one, but if its asian, then its most likely their parents want them to finish it first.. in 4 years.
Libraries? I can relate that to uni
Like everyday living, there is majority that everyone will not go through a romantic beginning. eg. Bumping into a girl accidently... or rescuing someone from some misfortunate event (in case this... densha otoko)..
The internet? a lot of anonymous things can happen. It can be fake, a gay trying to pick up a guy pretending to be a girl. Most girls wouldnt even think of going out with a guy through the net . unless they are desperate for a relationship. IMO, net meetings could be a good start, but it seems a little too nerdy.
so Where to start...?
no flames pls, and this is to you my shy little friends :P
I'm in a similar situation. I think that parties or clubs aren't a good place, because people there usually only want a one night thing. Don't like it.
University or other places can be ok, if you are not shy.
Internet, can be but can lead you to a crazy relationship that hurt you to extreme.
The thing is that meet how is a person and not just how she/he look is very hard.
This forum is the best place, now start flirting!
It really depends on interests of the person looking and their target's interests.
Some suggestions are parks, coffee shops, book stores, malls, bars, or even casinos. Depends on what you're looking for.
another thing is how to approach them, I think that's more of the question then where can you find one.
You can't randomly go up to someone at a coffee shop or park and ask them out.
So if you're not on the Internet hooking up, the key is to knowing how to approach the girl.
hmmm, really though you'll need to find/befriend a girl before you can go out and date each other, mainly try doing the normal routine and events and hopefully your talkative enough to meet a couple of girls which you can extend the relationship by discussing or meeting up afterwards to talk/drink etc.
if you want a proper relationship its going to take time, a few which i've met on the whim without really getting to know them didnt last to long since i grew tired and realised i had nothing in common with them.
but seriously try finding people in your workplace / school would be another option once again need to find if your interested in the same subjects again or just befriend.
>>but seriously try finding people in your workplace
I hereby veto this notion. Remember, kids -- office nookie is BAD nookie.
Don't make generalizations that asian girls at universities will not date you because they want to finish school first. Most I know date, and a few others are just complete sluts. College is the best place to find girls because they everyone is young and looking for love. Part of the college experience is meeting people, so take advantage of it and meet cute girls.
>>4
Casinos are really bad places to pick up girls, worse than parties or clubs. Most are prosititutes looking for some cash, others are gold diggers looking for the big stakes gambler.
As for approaching, be as calm and cool as you can and then open your mouth and say 'Hi,' Try to get a friendly conversation going and end it with getting her number. The key is not to get nervous.
This is technically a flame, but really I hope it's still constructive...
This... This is pathetic.
The problem with Shy guys meeting people isn't about Location really. It's being Shy.
You can still go out and talk to girls and all that stuff, and still be shy. But you have to be loud in other ways. Be loud with your actions, or loud with your mode of dress, if you can't be outgoing and fun. Being outgoing and fun is something that's healthy for EVERYONE. ESPECIALLY asian people after dealing with their overbearing parents.
You only have to be outgoing and fun for a few hours. That's just so people meet you and then they'll want to get to know more about you. AKA your shy selves.
I'm shy. But I still meet people everywhere I go by my reputation/mode of dress/usefulness/witty banter/personality of actions
So what would I do? Go to ALL of those places. Some of the girls I met at Libraries/Club/Dance Parties are still in Highschool so I don't get called a paedophile when I go to their Highschool. But that only happened because I was outgoing.
What does your reputation/mode of dress/usefulness/witty banter/personality of actions consist of.
Our parents aren't that strict. Parents push their kids to do well but they don't stop us from dating when we're in uni. Wanting to finish their studies is a lame excuse and a gross misconception. The most likely place to meet your next gf/bf is at university (if you're the shy type).
Girls who say they don't have time to date are probably rejecting you. Even for a girl who is overloaded with juggling her tertiary education, a job and maybe living alone.. if she likes you, she's willing to make the time to date someone.
From what I see, you just can't find a girlfriend especially if you're the stereotype conservative asian (which I admit I am). It's a lot easier to initiate a conversation with a girl/guy when you don't really expect anything to happen. It'll start off as a friendship and then you two grow more attracted to each other.
A girlfriend only "happens" in those kinda situations for the conservative type. You meet her. You don't pick one up. I know this cause I've been through a lot of it (as a girl) and I've seen it happen... for the popular guys and the guys even shier than me.
It usually takes a month of 'courting' before the one of you racks up the nerves to ask the other out or at least confirm "we're bf and gf now aren't we?"
*a month or even longer
lol courting
Most relationships cannot make it past the 3 month barrier, if you can be with a girl for more than 3 months, it is safe to assume that she is your girlfriend, but let her be the one to bring it up.
Ej, where to find a girlfriend. Thats what I'd like to know. Well, I'm sick of online relationships, and I want to find a girl around where I'm at, but I'm afraid I can't find one that suits my tastes. Here in Alabama. There aren't any events(Atleast nothing that I would find a potential girl) that I could go too.
It's not easy. I even tried the internet, and I am even using Anonidate now. although I only so two even near my area. I know a few guys, but I don't think they know girls that fit my taste. Right now, it seems like I'll never find those girls.
Believe when I say that it's not easy finding someone else thats actually willing to wait until marriage for sex. I mean, I could go to church, but I don't want to go to church just to find a girl. That just seems wrong. Besides, Church girls aren't all that innocent either.
I could go to school. But I think I give up on ever going to school. I've tried countless times to get into a college and it's either my High School thats screws something up, or it's me. So finding girls in college is, not even gonna happen.
sigh I won't give up. It may take me a while, But I won't give up.
High school doesn't necessarily need to mean paedophile. Firstly, some girls in the last year of high school are over 18. Secondly, plenty of countries have less ridiculous age limits, like 16, which open up the entire top two senior years.
>>7
another truism that's horribly untrue.
>>10 >>12
agree strongly about the need to worry first about just meeting people for the sake of networking. much easier to approach women that way, and the guys that you meet will also know available women for you to potentially meet. however i would warn against entering into relationships specifically as friendships and then expecting them to progress into something else. this might happen occasionally but it is the exception and not the rule.
>>18
largely depends on the age of the non-high-schooler. a 28 year old guy with a 16 year old girl, regardless of legality, is plain creepy. hot, but creepy. and just imagine how those conversations would go...
>>16
What, guys and gals can't be just friends? I've been friends with a girl for like 5 months. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend else she'd have, like, three. Well, that's not even the reason. We're just not dating, and we've only been out alone once.
>>20
well, they can, but typically it only happens when one is attracted to the other but for whatever reason the feelings aren't reciprocated.
As a girl, I can honestly say that a lot of girls are turned off or intimidated by a guy who's too forward. If you're going to pick up chicks at a library or someplace else that's not primarily meant for picking up chicks, don't be obvious about your intentions. It's better if you have a conversation with your target and see if something clicks first. If there's a spark, then you can trade contact information.
Personally, I get a little scared off when a guy just randomly comes up to me and asks me out. I don't want to be mean and tell him to shove off, but I don't want him to be mislead, either. It's even worse when guys constantly invade my personal bubble...this one time I went for a job interview with my best friend, and we bumped into some of her boyfriend's friends. This one guy wouldn't stop asking me questions and doing things like leaning on my shoulder and whatnot. It scared me so much! I eventually found an excuse to get away from that guy, thank goodness.@_@
*******The Problem with Picking up*******
I personally do not recommend trying to meet new people simply for the reason of "picking them up". This is because you are taking a process which is very delecate and very slow and pushing it all together in about an hour or so.
When someone "picks up" someone, you miss alot of very important aspects as to why people form relationships in the first place. People form relationships with each other because they have intimate feelings with each other and love each other.
Picking up a stranger compleatly ignores this aspect as people are too concerned with impressing each other and ultimatly and unfortunatly, the relationship is rather empty.
The best relationships that two people can have with each other are those when both people have known each other for a length of time and have had time to make decissions about each other and thought things through properly.
So in conclusion, picking up is not a good way to have a relationship with another human being. It can almost be considered an advanced form of lust in my opinion but I know there are many that will disagree with this.
in short: Meet a good person and get to know them more. Become a good friend and show that you really care for them as a human being. After you have had some time together, it will be easyer to talk to them and you can then decide where you want to take the relationship.
Picking up is a shortcut which will unfortunatly lead you through a rocky vally.
I Hope my thoughts have helped someone reading this board ^_^
>>23
Wrong.
>>23
you're either a troll or a young girl with zero life experience.
No problems with Internet so far, but I look for special things in a woman's personality so it's easy to tell if she's my thing at all. In a way it's easier for us who lead 'alternative' lifestyles to meet real people instead of pedophile surprise or something like that XD
Angel Here Love bunny's ^_^
>>24
So you don't like my post do you? very well then good sir, what do you suggest is "right" then?
>>25
Wrong both times my dear friend. 18 year old male here ^_^
Troll? I was being serious >_<
>>26
I look for special things in a womans personality as well. It is much to bad that nobody I know in my life possesses an "alternative" lifestyle. I wish I could meet an "alternative" person, all the girls I know are plain and booooooriinnngg!! >_<
Douse anybody else here have this trouble? Where can I find and meet the "alternative" people?
>Wrong both times my dear friend. 18 year old male here
that really just makes everything so much worse. have you ever been in a relationship?
>>30
You are the type of guy that other gay men call a faggot.
I love you, pumpkin.
EVERYBODY BE COOL, THIS IS A ROBBERY!
ANYONE OF YOU FUCKIN' PRICKS MOVE AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY ONE OF YOU MOTHER FUCKERS.
Good Evening Love Kitties ^_^
Okie's, lets start : D
>>31
Wow!!! SO CUTENESS ^_^
what a great post. You even put "Angel ^_^" in the name field. I wish I posted this, I liked it alot.
I am very glad you liked >>30 good sir ^_^
>>32
Really? you think so?
I decided to see for myself so I went to Collin's, Oxford, Harvard and even the Urban Dictionary but unfortunatly I never saw "Angel ^^" anywhere. How disappointing ><
I guess the dictionaries need to be updated dont they. I will have to cheak the 2008 edition when it comes out. I would love to be in the dictionary for something ^_^
>>33
I feel so honored to be labeled more gay than a homosexual ^_^
I guess I will be very popular with the guy's then won't I.
It is to bad that I like girls so much X D
(P.S I love you to, Hunnykins ^_^)
>>34
Pulp Fiction!!! ^o^
Stay Cool hunny Bunny. Stay Cool >: )
I loved that movie... I dousn't beat anime though.
Nothing Beats Anime ^_^
>>35
Thank you Very much good Sir/Madam ^_^
I am very glad you think so : 3
It is great to be complimented by strangers. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside ^_^
........
This is great. I sure can feel the love in this room and I like it. X D
I wish you all a good day love birdies. <3
agreed, sage this shit
>Highschool
Yes that is possible. And really not so hard. Just watch out for police.
I've always tried to get a girlfriend, but they all reject me. Most of them say I'm not their type and the ones who are more honest in their opinion say I'm not good-looking enough (which means they think I'm ugly). I've tried a million times at uni and it gave me the reputation of the guy who can't get a gf. I'm actually quite naive and keep trying, but every time they reject me. They say looks are not that important, but according to them I am way below average which makes it impossible for them to be with me. As you might understand, this is quite frustrating. I've been at uni for ages on purpose because I wanted to stay in the scene until I found a gf. After many years I gave up and graduated. Now I'm 31 and still being rejected. I'm working full-time and never meet new girls because of my daily routine. When I do meet a girl once a year, she almost automatically runs away from me when she sees me. It's really frustrating to be so unattractive that no girl wants to be with you. They don't even give me a change to let them know me. They all ignore me or go away. If I try to make contact, they're like "NO WAY!!!".
Because of my current age I don't have that much options anymore. Since every girl reject me, even though I do my best, I think I'll just die lonely. I'm actually not pitying myself. I just consider it a fact that some people like myself are born with this curse. I try to fight out of it, but if you're too unattractive it's no use. Ever noticed how good-looking guys don't need to do anything special? They just have to be present and all the girls go to him as if he's a magnet. They are all open to him and give him all the chances he needs. But they won' give me a chance at all. Even the not so good-looking girls are way too arrogant to me.
Everywhere I go, I try to get to know girls. It doesn't matter where, but they always literally walk away from me because they think I'm scary. Sometimes I'd rather be a baboon because they all look alike and can get it on with every female. Because of all this shit I've developed a secret form of hatred toward females.
try cafés
Ouch. You're where I'm going to be in seven years.
I've also prolonged my undergraduate years for the purposes of being around girls (hey, people say that college is the best place to pick up girls -- so how come after six years of it I've still found jack shit?).
I'm even considering graduate school for the sole reason that it would give me another six years to try and succeed at the whole "college love" thing. Everything I've ever heard says that once you enter the workforce, the availiability of dating opportunities takes a precipitous dive. And from my own experience with working, I can certainly believe it. Fucking pisses me off that my future dating possibilities are rapidly dwindling to encompass nothing more than those infuriatingly vapid speed dating meets that all the fifth avenue types hover around, looking for the perfect trophy to display in the passenger seat of their Porsches.