My tale of sorrow (108)

16 Name: Frigid Onanoko : 2007-06-18 21:19 ID:Sf7qVxGm

Love One Piece. This story is not very interesting as yet; technique of dating various entries helps to create flow, but many of events not very well connected. Reader left guessing at purpose of events in whole story too often. Not very consistent, you need editing. For example the 'war of your parents on me communicating her' barely receive followup later. Better to leave it out then. Furthermore [religion censored to prevent fights] is just plain annoying, although it does add mystery.

In the chance event that there is truth about your story, obviously, it is never sinful to talk. You can stand firm by that. Making vain promises is entirely different of course.

Also if you expect any sensible advice, you gonna drop the shroud of that religion of hers (and yours too?) because it make difference if confession is, say, muslim or christian.

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