Lonely (30)

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-07-10 16:12 ID:zz01uLrQ

As much as the Ladder Theory is misogynistic and obviously written by a bitter little fuck who got his ass kicked around by more than one lady, obviously here there is a grain of truth to it. Same could be said about the "Alpha male" copypasta. However, they overdo it by saying, more or less, "Women are stupid, and like guys that push them around." True, some, perhaps many women do like being kicked around by a guy. But those women tend to come from broken homes, and their screwy brains interpret abuse from their parents as what is love.

The reality of the matter is normal, well-adjusted women, while not liking abuse, are turned off by a combination of desperation, and being kind and nice. They're not stupid, they're actually quite smart. They look at a person, and become suspicious as soon as you get too kind. They know that something is wrong, because otherwise, you wouldn't be so desperate as to need their attention. Chivalry is dead. It makes women think you're secretly a creep. Sad truth, but you can thank people like Ted Bundy for that. The thing women seek is a mixture of both interest, but at the same time, that you don't necessarily need them. This comes off as being cold or being a jerk to other males, but it's really insurance against the former, seeming needy or desperate. Ladder theorists explain this away as women being submissive little animals, but I think it's for the most part insuring against the creeps.

Likewise, the external package is important. I can't sugar-coat this one. Women judge the external package. It's hardwired into all of us. When selecting a potential mate, we try to descern various qualities, like health and ability to take care of others (like young) in the long term. How does this affect you? If you're too fat, or too skinny, you'll get turned down. This is unhealthy, you should get fit for yourself, if not for others, at least. If you have massive acne, that's bad, indicates poor health. Dirty nails, etc. Indicates lack of cleanliness, and a lack of hygiene and by extension health. If you dress less than fashionably, that's bad too, because it looks sloppy and poor. Literally poor. Bad ability to take care of others, and less potential to provide. Same with hair. It's hardwired. Girls, if you talk to them about this, often will say they choose a guy based on personality, but always end up choosing sharp looking guys. It's not because they're necessarily shallow, it's more that all of our brains are hardwired to pick the healthiest and best providers. Our species wouldn't be where it is right now, if we weren't this way. And anyways, you wouldn't go out with a limpy boobed, hobo leper.

In conclusion, the thing is, you need to be confident in yourself, you need to at least fake not being desperate or needy (whether it be by false bravado, false apathy, or by even a small amount of meanness), not be overly kind (for above reason. Also, this does not entitle being an ass) while maintaining your appearances. And then get out there, but try your luck with manageable women. Don't bother going after the girl with 500 dollar shoes. Those girls often can afford expensive trinkets because they know they attract high-level guys who can afford to buy them that sort of junk occasionally. You need to be very on top of your game to attract these ones.

Also, don't ever announce that you like a person. It's abrupt and way too direct. You want to go for meals (and not ones where you pay that implies aforementioned being desperate, splitting the bill is better...making her pay is being an ass) hang-out and do other stuff, all while subtly implying some attraction (some flirting where appropriate), but also maintaining the perception that you are strong and independent. It's perhaps better to make her say that she likes you.

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