I've known this girl for about a year now, she lives pretty far away, about a 6 hour train ride or something which isn't that bad really - before I met her we got close as two people can on the internet, it was a bit ropey at times and I think she was as much hesitant as much she was willing for us to get together which is bound to cause problems, I myself was totally fine having been in a long distance relationship before without too much trouble, she had been in one also, but it turned out the worst way a long distance relationship could (cheating etc).
Anyway, as I mentioned I did meet her - this is the problem, it was a mixture of being pleasant and awkward. Personally i'd had much worse encounters so I thought it was alright for a first meet, however she didn't appear to have the same idea afterwards when I tried to contact her, infact telling me how awkward it was, in a really negative way, at the time making me feel like utter shit etc blah.
After yet more hassle, I somehow managed to save our friendship, the same way I had to convince her that we weren't even in a relationship when she started doubting it over the internet (maybe I was wrong? but nothing HAD happened so it felt right saying so)
Since then we haven't spoken as much as we did, which is expected really. But when we do talk it does feel as if theres some connection there, i'm way too hesitant to actually ask about it, I think I actually asked about what she really thought of when we first met and she didn't say much if I remember, so I don't think it's something to dwell on. Looking back I can see I wasn't exactly composed as I am today, so I wouldn't be suprised if I was a bit shit. Maybe that was a bad time for both of us.
At one time she said we'd have to go out for a drink sometime which was either meant literally or just saying "it'd be cool to meet you again because i've cooled down" then again, I think i'd have to work it out so I went to where she lived for a different reason and due to me being in the area I could easily go out for one.(I'm not a huge drinker so going out for a drink by spending £40 on a train ticket for one night isn't worth it, even for a girl) THEN again, she might be working and i'd be fucked if I ended up going there for a false reason, I seriously have no real reason to go there aside from her.
I haven't really caught her online much recently, aside from today which is what brought this whole issue up in my head really. I think she's great as a friend, regardless of how much contact I have with her, but I can't help but feel attracted because it doesn't seem THAT hopeless. The way she talks sometimes shows she might have some fondness for me and even thinks of me in a good way.
Problem I guess is, how the hell do I up the ante on the contact so I can actually get this to go somewhere again? My current position is that i'll be able to talk to her when she goes online again, or if that opportunity is missed I can send her an email. I do feel this is a wait and see thing, but posting it here doesn't hurt. I know i'm not obsessed, I even had pictures of her left over that she sent when we were really close, but i've deleted them. That aside I'm still infatuated. Could this be unrequited love? ;_;
Honestly, I'm not sure what I can really help you with But there is one piece of advice.
Often times, from what I've seen and heard, you will have you put your friendship on the line to get something more.
there isn't any way around it. You'll have to determine if you want something more, or if you don't want to risk a friendship and move on.
>"infact telling me how awkward it was, in a really negative way"
Uh this is pretty straightforward on what this girl thinks of you. Why was it awkward?
She came out with all this bullshit about how I kept staying behind her when pretty much all the time I was trying to talk and keep at her side,aswell as some other shit, when I asked her why it was awkward.
I think she just found it weird because well, i'd talked to her online for ages, and there I suddenly was.
The fact we're friends now can show that wasn't totally true because, well..if a girl stayed behind me the entirety of a meeting i'd find it a bit creepy.
And I doubt she'd value me that highly if that were really true.
And, faggy as it sounds we even shared a milkshake and hugged. I can imagine in wanting to get rid of someone you can help it by satisfying them somewhat, but she didn't have to do anything, she could've just said something about having to catch a bus and get the hell out of there.
Essentially it went like this:
1.End of meeting, sent complimentary text saying it was nice to meet etc
2.No reply
3.Send another text
4.Get mentioned negative reply, no detail just it was 'weird' (can't recall rest of it)
5.I ask why
6.Above mentioned reasons
7.Me countering said reasons
8.Some cool down time
9.I send her an email saying that it isn't worth throwing away a friendship for no reason, slowly but surely it was saved.
As far as the meeting was concerned, it may not've been the ideal time to meet, infact I thnk I should've met her earlier, but I didn't have the means then. Due to distance and closeness it got into one of those send pictures of each other thing, which looking back now was really dumb. I mean it makes it worse. Our conversations degraded into "I miss you" and picture sending pretty much all the time.(I WON'T fall into that hole again) Even so, she knew what I looked like thoroughly before we met, so doubtful as I can be in my appearance I doubt I scared her with that.
I know she had some trouble with a friend not shortly before, being a bit creepy and so on..more on the extreme scale mind, I wouldn't be suprised if that left a sour impression of how men act. Possibly the main reason why it was a bad time to meet, even if it was convenient for me.
I spoke to her alot yesterday, just in general mind. She seems alot more casual with me than she has been, pretty much like she was in the better days. I couldn't say if I still had a chance, but she did say she enjoyed talking to me. And she even whipped out a compliment by saying "why can't more men be like you!, she doesn't usually exclaim anything unless she's sincere..but who knows. We both agreed to make more of an effort to keep in touch.
I'm happy with how it's progressing anyway, I think it's important to be a friend before anything else.