:/ (10)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-01 12:17 ID:3KiIL7jw

I've debated this for a long time... I'm 26, and have felt more & more lonely, and angry & disappointed over that, over the past couple years, as I watch everyone around me being couples, holding hands, things like that... I've only had one serious relationship, earlier this year, and it ended because while I was honest & pure about caring about her, the girl lied about "loving me", and got herself carried away playing a game with the entire thing, and never meant to have a relationship (at least she treated everyone else in our circle like crap as well, so noone talks to her anymore)...

I'm about the nicest, always generally upbeat & cheery guy anyone's ever met, and I'm kind to all of my friends, I just never get a break in life... Like I've said, that one relationship is all I've ever had, and it wasn't even done properly, as she was lying to me, and never meant it from the beginning...

I think it's because of all this constantly multiplying and growing loneliness & discontent that there just seems to be this dark, twisted part of me growing more & more inside... A part of me that's so bitter by never getting anything, emotional or physical in life, that only sees Women as playing 'headgames', and believes that women deserve to be used, and that that's the only way to get any in life...

It's hard to put these feelings in words, so I apologize if this is rambling...

It's a part of me that I'm afraid of...

It wants to be a "player"... It wants to treat women like crap, as that seems to be the only 'language' they understand... It says, "If you be a nice guy, looking for a relationship, you get spit on, but if you treat them like trash, you'll get laid..."...

I don't drink or party, but this part of me wants to get trashed, do wild, crazy things, just to do them, and it wants to justify it by saying "I just don't give a fuck anymore!"

This part of me wants to use women, to just "get laid", for no reason other than getting some, by any means necessary... Hell, this part of me's contemplated calling a hooker or something, just to get some, which is sad, because the normal "me" wants a loving relationship more than anything else... This part of me says "Hey, I've got my needs, and being a nice guy never satisfied 'em"...

I normally keep this dark, angry part of myself on a tight leash, deep inside... It sometimes comes out, when I'm feeling depressed but normally, only when I'm alone... I feel like something snapped recently, though...

I guess it snapped after I recently got back from a trip with some friends for the weekend...

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-01 13:32 ID:XEfhAboQ

It's the same story, time after time...

Women want a man. Not a nice guy. Especially not a guy who thinks he's the nicest guy around. There are too many sites out there about this, the ladder theory, sosuave.com, http://heartless-bitches.com/rants/niceguys/niceguys.shtml, the general idea is that women sense your loneliness and discontent, and run from it.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-01 13:34 ID:2hI937u6

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4 Post deleted by moderator.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-02 12:56 ID:FcDS4YeK

>>2

>>the general idea is that women sense your loneliness and discontent, and run from it.

So it's like a Zen dilemma, then: the only way to get a girl is to not want one.

Well, that certainly makes sense... :/

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-02 15:26 ID:XEfhAboQ

Yes, it is a bit paradoxical. But you can still want them, just don't show it. Sort of like how girls stereotypically play "hard-to-get" to attract guys.

7 Name: >>1 : 2007-08-02 17:59 ID:lJrQj0s3

Hmm... I'm >>1 and I don't even remember making this thread.... I made another thread w/ the same text, but in that one, I continued into a second post... Don't remember making this one...

Regardless, however it got copy/pasta'd the facts, and my feelings remain...

I think I've come to the sad realization that 99% of women like to play these sickening headgames... They don't respect "nice guys"... They say they want a nice, sensitive guy, who loves them purely, and believes in true love, and does romantic things... They say they don't like playahs, party animals, and sex-crazed guys... But the way they act is quite different...

They don't give a nice, sensitive caring guy the time of day... But if you're a player, only looking to get right into their panties, they're ready to go "party" with you, that's for sure...

If that's the way girls want to play it, then maybe only by partying, drinking, and thinking only about getting laid is the way to get some...

Those kind of people disgust and anger me... But there's a dark part of me so disgusted & angered by my current lack of any love life and the realization that nice guys really do finish last, that would revel in being that way, and using people... And that scares me to death...

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-03 00:12 ID:/FtpVPhv

I think you're looking at girls in extremes; the kind of girl that "[wants] a nice, sensitive guy, who loves them purely, and believes in true love, and does romantic things" is sort of an innocent, naive stereotype, whereas those that like "playahs, party animals, and sex-crazed guys" are really the darker but much more visible minority.

I can't speak for all women but I can speak for myself: I like a nice, sweet guy that is compassionate and can make concessions for my faults but, at the same time, I appreciate if that nice guy has a bit of an ego. Not a mean, egotistical megalomaniac, mind you-- a rightfully earned ego stemming from self-confidence, accomplishment, intelligence, good humor, conviction, and determination.

I like a man that is adventurous, which does not mean nihilistic. My boyfriend does not drink or smoke-- if we go to the hookah bar, he's converse but refrain from the tobacco. If we go to a party, he'll have fun and try a sip of a drink but not down one Bud Light after another. Most of all, he isn't self righteous if I do decide to have a beer or take it hit from the hookah.

Consider these things.

You seem like a really nice guy. Maybe you're just looking in the wrong places for a fitting woman?

As far as that dark, twisted part of yourself that sometimes just wants to be self-destructive? I really, deeply empathize. But it'll pass.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-03 02:18 ID:9iz4zOts

I don't want someone hard to get, I want someone easy to get.

10 Name: >>1 : 2007-08-03 18:56 ID:lJrQj0s3

>>8 I've been hearing that more & more often.. I suppose it's ok to be a bit aggressive, and more take-charge... I'm going to try to let that dark aggressive part of me out, but try to keep it in check... It really is harder & harder lately not to give in to that self-destructive womanizer urge after experiencing so much disappointment and being so angry and disgusted over it...

I saw today an example of someone that really disgusted me, and it made me think about what that darker side of me would be like if I just let it be me... I saw an e-mail from my co-worker's son, replying to asking him about a girl he'd been seeing, and it really made me even more scared of letting that part of me out, for fear I'd be like this...

It read "Good part is I can be choosy, what are they going to do, break up with me. Boo Hoo, big deal, I got 'em waiting in the wings. Till I run out of girls in this town to date, I'll just keep kicking them to the curb 'till I find the one that totally fits what I'm looking for, Just don't really know what that is"

That really disgusted me... But I suppose that guy's out there enjoying having fun, getting laid, all the "good stuff" a jerk like that apparently gets... As he put it, they're "waiting in the wings"... While I can't get anyone to notice me...

Seeing something like that, it's really hard to keep that self-destructive sick side in check...

It's only the thought that I'd be like that that keeps it in check... A womanizer like that who jumps from woman to woman like tossing aside unwanted things makes me sick inside...

Thanks for the advice given thus far, guys & girls... It's really hard to contain the part of me that just wants to womanize & get laid, and at the same time, be a bit aggressive & self-confident while being a 'nice guy'...

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