Need some balls. (15)

1 Name: B : 2007-08-17 11:05 ID:GuKFcLh+

Someone help. How the fuck do I get the balls to talk to girls? Well, I mean. Ok, I'm shy and I'm not all that outgoing. I figured It might be much better to date online. or use a service like Yahoo. So I have and now I see all these profiles of girls that just seem interesting. problem is. I can't seem to shake up the courage to just send a simple message. I REALLY REALLY wanted. But I seem to have this barrier right out there that stops me. It doesn't feel like fear is holding me back... but...
Talking to girls is easy, talking to girls with a certain intent is alot harder. Especially when I'm not all that talkative to begin with. Last two girlfriends talked to me and initiated everything. They first talked, they first confessed, and all that.

Not sure what to do. I'm basicly bashing my head in at the fact that I can't send a simple message.

2 Name: Loser : 2007-08-17 11:57 ID:YpuV8zWM

Just don't do anything to start with.....^^

Become a Hikikomri like me, than you won't have your problems anyway :P.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-17 12:29 ID:tTVVRTfC

>>1
I probably won't be of much help since, although I've sent messages to girls on dating sites, since all of them were too far away to begin with, I usually stopped trying after a while.

Now my answer: Just ask them to specify things. Like if they say they like a certain author, ask them which books they liked best and why. If they say the like rock, ask them which artists, etc.

This worked for me for a few exchanges... until I didn't feel like bothering with it.

Also say in your profile that you're shy (although, maybe not in that exact way.)

Look at it this way: if you have nothing to talk to her about, then it wouldn't make sense to try and date her. If she doesn't like the fact that you're shy, she wouldn't like it in real life.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-17 13:05 ID:Heaven

>>2

wannabe

5 Name: Loser : 2007-08-17 15:32 ID:YpuV8zWM

>>4 if you think i am a wannabe it is fine with me though

I am just very secluded, don't have any friends, don't go out of home etc. etc.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-17 16:40 ID:11sdtp1f

>>1

Yeah, I have the same problem, I've let a number of opportunities slip through my fingers that way.

Maybe you should get drunk and then email?
Or pretend you're someone else? Or get someone else you can trust to type the message and send it?

I think it's something you just have to get over, like when you're little and you don't dare jump down anything more than three feet. Once you start doing it though, it becomes easy and fun.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-17 17:20 ID:Heaven

8 Name: B : 2007-08-17 20:45 ID:GuKFcLh+

>>7
Haha very funny. I was expecting a different kind of balls to be linked to but I'm happy with the one you provided.

>>2
That lifestyle seems interesting, but when you become 30 and still living in your parents house... It gets old really quick.

>>3
Talking isn't really the problem though, because I'm sure that if I send a message I'll be able to talk. It's the initiating part thats the problem. Normally I have a problem talking to anyone, but when needed I will say something. however, when its a girl I'm interested in, I clam up. Badly, I can't dare say the first words and It'll eat away at me. And even if I do start it, I'll just be in a certain mode that completely blocks me from taking a step farther even if I see and recognize all the hints.

>>6
I don't drink. I've seen what the hell drinking does to members of my family. Not about to even touch a beer or some form of alcohol. I'd rather not pretend, that would just mess things up. Don't have anyone I could trust with this either. Maybe one person, but right now they have their own situation.

I know it's something I have to get over, but It seems my mind won't let me jump the hurdle. No matter how hard I try.

9 Name: 3 : 2007-08-17 22:31 ID:tTVVRTfC

>Normally I have a problem talking to anyone, but when needed I will say something.

Same here.

Anyway, one thing to keep in mind with dating sites is that's it's the internet. You can sign up via a proxy, using an alias and new email to completely bare your soul. It's possible for there to be practically no sensible way to trace anything back to you.

Knowing that, you can go all out contacting girls online, with the assurance that there's no way you'll ever be negatively affected by it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-18 10:13 ID:w/8LnWA8

have confident man and remember if you don't confront them they probably wont even notice you, it helps if you have a conversation plan out so it wont be awkward.

11 Name: lanslot : 2007-08-19 08:55 ID:yydTk5g7

Hi, knowing that your last two girlfriends initiated the talk to you means that your looks are above average or you are good looking, so what I mean is you actually have a lesser problem here.

What you should do is take a deep breath. clear up your mind. Don't think of many things. Maybe when you see a nice girl you think of how can i talk to her? you think of many ways how to talk to that girl to the extent that when you have come up with one the girl is not there anymore. So stop thinking. I'm not experience in this i just based this from a lot of people specially my friends and also to the society now.

Like I said, it looks like you are a above average in looks or good looking based from what you post. So there will be no problem. You see some girls actually looks for above average guys or good looking guys, but you asking why some not so good looking guys gets girls right? well they are what you call sweet talker or a good talker, that's their charisma.. but you since you have good looks.. a Simple Hello and a simple what's your name and a smile.. can actually do it or is enough...

Dude, lastly.. it although we can say many things here in the end you are the only one who can help yourself.. you have to initiate it since it's your own body.. know yourself.. try to talk to people you know since you said you are shy and not talkative why not try first to talk a lot to friends or people you know because atleast you will accustomed with it..

Just Be Yourself is good.. But please do no limit yourself.. Just being yourself is not good.. Try to improve.. i'm not saying to pretend I'm saying Improve what lacks you..

and like what I said.. we really don't know what will happen until you try it.. Sometimes a simple hello and a simple smile does it all....

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-19 17:03 ID:x0yEwnNP

Be confident in yourself, and you can be confident around women. You need some of that good ol' manly pride!

13 Name: B : 2007-08-21 08:57 ID:GuKFcLh+

>>9
Yea, you are probably right. I'm still hesitant though. Scared even.

>>10
I always plan things out. I remember in high school a girl gave me her number, an hour before I called I had a whole chart ready for all the things I could talk about. Of course, when I finally called her. that chart was utterly useless and I didn't talk alot sadly.

>>11
Yea, I guess you can say I look somewhat good. I was never good at rating myself. To tell you the truth. My family and friends tend to notice I get hit on or I get certain looks from girls that are interested in me. Although I never noticed them. And even though I'm interested in girls. I tend to focus on other things and become avoidant because of my shyness. After the whole incident I punch myself in the gut for not doing what I should have done.

>>12
I know I should be confident, I'm just looking for tips on how.

Thanks for all the advice though guys. I plan on talking to atleast one girl by the end of the week. If I can get the guts to do it. Then maybe I'll level up. hahaha.

14 Name: B : 2007-08-24 10:28 ID:GuKFcLh+

update; I MESSAGED A GIRL!

Although she hasn't responded back in more than 24 hours... Back to square one with another female. I think this time I'll try just a friendly Hi on myspace or something. Atleast get to know girls in my area.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-24 18:58 ID:3bmtZqtV

great job man you've taken the first step

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