Really need help (34)

1 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-22 04:33 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Hello there everyone. Although I'm mostly a lurker, I need help now. I'm in high school and I ran into a girl I had my eye on last year. We had sort of eyed each other whenever we would see each other. I would sometimes intentionally go to the hallway where she would hang out so that I could just see her (No, I wasn't stalking her but I kind of got that feeling which is why I would do it occasionally). However, except for a moment when she gave me juice, not much happened. I was wondering if I would see her during the new school year, and luckily I did. However, I don't want the same thing to happen as last year, and would like to get to know her, and possibly date. The only problem is I have no idea how to approach her without it being weird or awkward or some random wierdo pervert.
P.S. Not at all that confident around women I have a crush on, and if not obvious don't know her at all.
P.P.S. Sorry if the post is long.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-22 06:17 ID:Heaven

try to say "hello"

it will work wonders

3 Name: 丹頂女 : 2007-08-22 06:24 ID:EjUT/hRH

Approach her and strike up a conversation.
Don't try to be cool or suave, just say, "Hello! How are you?" and see where it takes you. Don't go into the conversation thinking about how you'd like to date her, go in with the intent of being friends. if you go in thinking about dating her, you may come across as a pervert, or you may be paranoid, and trick yourself into thinking you seem like one.
I'm a girl, and I don't mind at all when someone comes over to say hello to me. Ask her about herself, and don't try and present yourself in a way that isn't accurate; be kind, but also be genuine.

>>2 is right: Start with "Hello!".

4 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-22 10:52 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Thank you both. I'll try my best today. I just feel a bit intimidated because she's usually with her friends, and it's a pretty big group of friends of usually at that
>>3. I wasn't really trying with the intention of dating, but I guess I wouldn't mind it going there since I've never really had a girlfriend. Lol.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-22 14:24 ID:mNwKfXlU

If that's the case then become friends with the friends first. Once they're on your side they won't mind lending her to you for a while. :-)

6 Name: 丹頂女 : 2007-08-22 18:57 ID:n/1UcJo5

If she's with a grup of friends, don't worry about it. If being around so many people makes you nervous, then try and pull her away, otherwise greet her and maybe even try and join in the conversation!
Tell us how it goes, too!

Do your best!! \(^^)/

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-22 20:26 ID:Mna6kU2X

She gave you juice???

Awwww.... (◦^_^◦)

8 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-23 01:34 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Wow. More people actually responded. I'll take all your advice to heart. I wasn't able to see her today because I had to do something else. I just saw her while I was going to my friend's class, I would have said something to her, but she was talking to some guy. I think she saw me though.
>>5 I was going to do that as I would have no problem talking to a girl(s) I don't like, but I was paranoid and tell them "Some wierdo was asking about you." Then if I did go up to her they'd be like "That's him."But I'm over that. Somewhat. Really doubt people would be that mean.
>>7 Yea, it is cute. I get the feeling she was trying to make a move but I just accepted it and left. Looking back I should have done something. Just said thank you.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-23 14:08 ID:mNwKfXlU

>>8
Actually it sounds like you have the same condition as me. I'm not shy around guys and not shy around girls I don't want. But throw one girl I do want into the group and I'm silent as a rock.

Wikipedia calls it love shyness.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-23 15:18 ID:n+pUF5Ko

Yeah... same here. It's one of these things where the harder you try, the harder it gets to do the simplest things, like call them. -_-
I think you really need to be able to relax in this sort of situation, which is probably why being drunk helps. Not that I recommend getting drunk to attempt to attract girls.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-23 18:14 ID:i3iA+11L

Also keep in mind you start with heavy malus points. Even if she likes you, the fact you've waited so long to move on will weight in the balance when she'll have to judge you as "datable". That "nice but kind of creepy" factor.

I'm not saying it's desperate, far from that, but I know it counts, even if remotely.

Maybe she'll kind of pull it in the conversation, like "yeah, I've seen you around" or whatever. The thing to do then is laugh, take it as a joke. Find something witty to answer. Don't drop dead serious/anxious like "yeah, um, yeah, I liked you, but I hadn't the courage..." blahblah. This works only in cheesy shows. DON'T DO IT. Seriously. You'll tell her that in the morning, on the pillow, bathed in love afterglow, if you ever tell her that.

Good luck, and as some said: relax. Reeeelax. Nothing bad's gonna happen.

12 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-24 01:08 ID:4Ib0IKWd

I was sort of able to talk to her today. But it was a bit awkward. My friends sort of got into it and one of them knew one of the people she was with. Unfortunately, he told her friend that I liked her. Well in any event, I was able to see her and talk to her. At first it felt as though I had FAILED, because she told them that my friend, can't tell which, liked her. However, in retrospect it isn't that bad because I "KNOW" her now, but was only able to say "Hello." Unlike what some people said the rest didn't come naturally. But there's always tomorrow , if I see her.
>>9 It's nice knowing I'm not the only person that has this. I hope we can get over it hopefully, even if it does feel impossible.
>>10 Too young to get drunk, but nice to know that you also feel the same way as me.
>>11 I was actually going to be the one to say "I've seen you around", but seemed odd to say at the moment.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-24 03:36 ID:7ZWgfQke

>>9 I have it that way too, and I am a girl. It's not that i don't make the moves and wait for the guys to make, I'm simply way too shy to be able to approach someone i really like. Be it love, of friendship.

>>12 I am not quite sure if things are going that well, the fact that a friend of her knows you like her might be a little turn-off for said girl (if her friends tells her about it), mainly because it kills that mysterious spark of doubt that might have once been there. Still, things seem to be going quite normally. Good luck ;)

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-24 22:42 ID:Heaven

>>11

>"yeah, I've seen you around"

If a woman uses this line it's over, trust this one from experience, and judging by the situation as I understand it, this guy's in the very same. As one existential to another, I recommend you give up now move on and find someone who can actually prefer you, I guarantee you you aren't her type, harsh I know but the truth hurts often.

15 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-26 04:45 ID:4Ib0IKWd

No, it's perfectly alright. I didn't really have my hopes to high anyway but was just really curious about it. Not much happened on Friday, we just saw each other and said waved. I'm going to see where it goes, but not really going to try. Going to keep posting if anything new arises.
>>13 I'm not sure if her friends have told her and they didn't come off as the kind to tell her and they thought it was one of two of my friends. I think they,her friends, thought it was the friend to my right, and even if they told her, she most likely thought it was my friend to the right. Thanks for the good luck.
>>14 She never said that to me. I was thinking about saying it.

16 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-26 04:47 ID:4Ib0IKWd

>>14 >No, it's perfectly alright. I didn't really have my hopes to high anyway but was just really curious about it. Not like I want to give up though.

This was meant for 14

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 05:30 ID:otDgNKH4

Why did she give you juice? Sounds cute, but a bit odd, giving juice to randoms.

Anyway. It's hard to gauge how/when you should approach a girl until you actually get to know her. Most girls, as >>13 said, like the moment of mystery surrounding the status of the relationship. It's sweet, fun, and as much as I hate to admit, we girls do like the thrill of the chase. When girls find out that a guy they've recently met likes them, the ball in their court, which leaves you on the back-foot. Many a times (not all), this situation has produced toy-boys. Hence I suggest subtle hints, a smile here and there to charm her and see if she responds favourably. Don't overtly suggest anything to her, just tease her with a compliment here and there, ask about her interests etc.

I think that's the thing with guys approaching girls and failing. They're too forward. If you hardly know her, and come down hard on her when you first meet her, who's to say you wouldn't do that to another girl? If you get to know her better before asking her out, then there's more chance that she'll think you're genuinely interested in her.

18 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-27 03:49 ID:4Ib0IKWd

>>17 I'm not sure as to why she gave me juice. I was just walking along the hallway that she is usually in(I wanted to see her), and while I was along, and she was eating lunch, and I think she said something like "Oh, i don't this juice or something"(not sure at all, happened a while ago) and when I was close to her she said if I wanted it and I'm like "Who me?" and she said "Yea." Then I think I said, "You didn't do anything to it right?" and she said no so I'm like ok and just took it. Memory is a bit fuzzy and not even like 50% sure about the conversation, but it was something like that, I think. Well, hopefully the ball is still in my court, or I would slightly prefer our court, cause if it's up to me I feel like a jerk. I'm not sure if I overly suggest, just the occasional tease, jokes, some compliments maybe. However I think I usually spend too much time with them(girls I like) and I end up stuck in the friend zone. Well, I'm going to see her tomorrow, if all goes well, and hopefully something happens. Wish me luck everyone.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-27 05:27 ID:X4qLeuzP

>>18

I don't really have much to add, but I honestly wish you tons of luck. Do it for all the shut-ins on 4-ch too cowardly to approach people.

;_; So ronery

20 Name: Kira : 2007-08-27 05:47 ID:As+V2/28

I know a person who was like you and liked a girl in the school. The best solution that would work is to get a friend who knows her (Or any other connections) to introduce you to her. And it worked, so you can try that option.

Anyways best of the luck- Kira

21 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-28 06:30 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Well, not much happened today. Considering I see her less than 30 minutes a day may be due to that but oh well. In any event, we exchanged hello's, like twice or so, and I even got a kiss from her. Sure it was on the cheek, but for a girlfriend-less loser like me that's unbelievable. It would take me months or in a case a couple of years for that to happen, and I don't even really know her. Go ahead, say she might have just been being nice. I don't care. (I feel cocky know so I'll stop, and also feel to have betrayed my fellow love impaired companions.)
>>19 Thanks for the wish of luck. I'll try my hardest for everyone that has been kind to me and for everyone in general. Because if I can do it, then anyone can. Wish I could inspire people I guess, such as densha's which still has me going to this day, but my "story" is nowhere near as good or heart-tugging, or full of zany people, which is nice since everyone is helpful. Thought for sure at least one person would think I was trolling.
>>20 Thank you also for the wish of luck, and that really did seem to be a good solution, it's worked well so far, especially since I was to shy to go up and speak to her by myself. I wish I was able to though, but hey to late now. I know her, just have to the rest on my own, with maybe the occasional help from 4-ch. ^_^

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-28 10:51 ID:2iYbT64m

>I even got a kiss from her..

Unless she's a slutty girl, I'd say you've hit the jackpot my friend.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-28 17:20 ID:BLy47Fq3

>I even got a kiss from her

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24 Name: Random Hobo : 2007-08-28 19:14 ID:ul2HSD5Y

I once got juice from a girl ... and also a kiss... Now I have Cancer?! Can someone tell me where I went wrong?!?!?!?!?

25 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-29 04:16 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Saw her again today. Just talked to her about her name, because I was saying it wrong, and said I could call her by her real name or a nickname[I was calling her by a different name that sounded awfully similar(this happened with another girl I liked too.)], and about an animal cruelty sticker she had.. Progress is small but seems to be okay. Actually the progress seems so small, I feel like posting a bit less, until I have super good news, but I'm addicted I guess.
>>22 It was just a kiss on the cheek, but I'm happy so I don't really care. I don't know her, but she sure doesn't seem slutty. She seems nice, even if she's a bit hyper-active.
>>23 Like I just said it was a kiss on the cheek, blah blah still happy about it though. Love the artwork since it feels densha-ish now, but what does it say in the back?
>>24 O.o Assuming it's real,which it doesn't sound like it, that's creepy. I got juice from a girl, and a kiss, ON THE CHEEK, but what's really odd is that I'm a cancer. Hmmm. Better be careful.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-29 12:52 ID:moZGl6mt

>>25
Dont get you hopes up.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-30 18:11 ID:vdChFihL

>>25
It says "kita!"

And keep reporting back here!

This could get good.

28 Name: Kurono : 2007-08-31 04:14 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Like I mentioned earlier not much has happened. Things seem/feel like they're progressing, but at such a small rate that it seems better to reply every once in a while.
>>26 Like I mentioned earlier, I don't have my hopes that high, but I guess high enough to expect something. I probably won't be heart-broken if this doesn't work out, but then again that doesn't mean I shouldn't try. It's dumb to not try because if you do at least you feel you have done something. Like they say, better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all, though I guess here you would replace love with tried.
>>27 Darn. My Japanese is getting rusty. Can't fully remember what kita meant. Remember it like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" or something like that. I'll keep posting here, not like I ever planned on quitting , but I guess I want to post less because the progress feels slow and don't have much to talk about a person I see very briefly. Afraid I might bore everyone to death with these tiny steps toward anything(Friendship, girlfriend, etc.)

29 Name: 22 : 2007-08-31 10:08 ID:fxLHr9xZ

After realising that she kissed you as a form of greeting, I have to take back my words.

Do NOT expect much from a girl like her. Kissing a near random guy, what the hell? In my time, all the slutty girls used to feel it necessary to hug random guys before class, but this is something new.

I mean...who knows where her lips have been. She might've kissed all your mates before she got around to you. Urgh.

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-02 02:48 ID:fVwfOaAy

>>1
You have to stage something. Get some bully to go up an threaten her. Then come to her rescue. The bully will flatten you, and she'll be impressed by his Alpha-male status and go off with him. On second thoughts, you better play the bully.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-02 09:55 ID:VGJwtRy8

>>30
That's retarded. I used to think of doing things like that
when I was like 12.

It won't work.

You don't live in a movie.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-02 10:17 ID:dhBLzeyy

>>31

That was just some good old trollin I'm sure, lol

Anyway...
This is whole thing is so fucking cute...

>>28
Kita would, in the context of it's regular usage mean something like "it came!" or "it's here!"
Like when you get an awaited package or, a post in a thread, or if something rad happens, I dunno.
In the west it's primarily used by densha-geeks on equally geeky and lame weeaboo-boards.

Slow progress is good progress. Also the kiss on the cheek may have just been a friendly gesture, but in either which case it's clear she likes you, in a friendly or romantical way doesn't really matter at this stage.

Just keep socializing and get to know eachother, don't rush things.

33 Name: Kurono : 2007-09-02 23:58 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Hello there everyone. Sorry I haven't replied in a while. I was going to reply yesterday, but I felt guilty about writing all of this(the tread) without her knowledge, but I owe it to you guys to know how things are going. Well on Friday bumped into her a lot, not literally though. There was a pep rally that day, for those who don't know like a school celebration filled with school spirit and the weird type of people who have it. Anyway in turns out that she was going to be in it since she's part of the band. She said she wanted to see me there and to dance. I said sure, even though I hate being at those stupid things and can't dance to save my life. However I remembered I leave school early and I wouldn't be able to go. So after wondering what to do, choices were sneak back into school, have my "identical" friend dance in my place or tell her I couldn't go. So I decided to tell her. Before I said anything she said that we always seem to be bumping into each other. I said yea that we do and it's kinda funny how often it happens. So I ended up telling her I couldn't go. She seemed a bit disappointed so I told her that maybe I could sneak back into school and be able to go. She said that it's alright that she didn't want to get people into trouble because of her. During our conversation though someone came up to her, someone I know of a bit, and seemed to want a hug from her but she pushed him away and seemed uncomfortable , which I found weird since the day before I saw her go up to him and hug him. So then the bell rang and she had to leave so we hugged goodbye and we kissed each other and the cheek. After leaving I was wondering whether I should go back, but my friends suggested that I shouldn't and I sort of came to the realization that going back probably wouldn't do much as only seems to happen in movies and stuff.

34 Name: Kurono : 2007-09-03 00:19 ID:4Ib0IKWd

Wow. My post was so long. So I'm going to respond to everyone here.
>>29 I'm not really a near random guy. She didn't kiss me on the cheek from the get-go. It was a bit after we started talking to each other so I don't see how she can be a slut just because of that.
>>30 Lol. That will never work. Funny none the less.
>>31 My thoughts exactly, though I still get really weird ideas like that, like I mentioned earlier go to the pep rally after telling her I couldn't go and she'd be so happy to see me and proclaim our like to each other and become boyfriend and girlfriend or w/e. Too much anime/manga I think. Sometimes I wish I did live in a movie things would be easier. I mean that scenario would work in a movie.
>>32 What's fucking cute? All of this? Thanks for telling me what kita was and thanks for your kind words. Your right. Slow progress is good progress or progress none the less. I'm not going to say much about the kiss on the cheek since I tend to over think every little thing that happens and associate it in a way where I think a person likes me which usually tends to mess things up with the person I like. And I'll keep up with socializing and get to know her better.

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