What the hell? Am I in love or something? (11)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 12:29 ID:ChIDq7P+

It's weird. It's like everything I do now just doesn't matter. Nothing can compare to how I feel when I'm around her. I don't feel the same when I'm playing a video game, watching an anime, or any of my other hobbies. My mind keeps drifting back to her. She is my third girlfriend and we have only been going out for a couple of months (but I've known her for five years), but I can safely say that I have never felt like this before. Last night we talked on the phone for four hours and that wasn't even a special occasion, we always talk that long every time we call each other. The weird thing is I find myself thinking about her even after I hang the phone up. I can translate that feeling into something similar to missing her. I mean, I like this feeling of being happy, but at the same time, I can't get my mind off her no matter what I involve myself in. The mere thought of her alone just makes me smile but at the same time it's like I'm being obsessive or something thinking about her all the time

What is this feeling? Could it be love? Is it really okay for me to be thinking about her all the time? I just don't know what to make of this. Like I said I've never felt this before.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 12:37 ID:2Jalgh2P

You're not in love, you have dependency. You're mind is weak and something in your life must be wrong so that you latch onto her. You're desperate for something good to be happening in your life (since it seems to me like you're a pretty introverted weeaboo gamer type of guy) so you're putting the weight of the world on her. Eventually when shit happens and you two break up you're going to feel terrible, my best advice would to be to dump her now. If not, then make sure you balance your life out. Don't make her the only thing that's good in your life, don't make her the only thing that matters, because if it all goes sour you're going to be fucked up. Maybe you should take a bit of time off from her to focus on you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 12:45 ID:QuF0atZr

>>2 how negative! You think he should dump her? No way!

Aren't you lucky! I'd say that it's not love, more that your feelings for her are very strong. It's normal to think about someone all the time if you have very strong feelings for them. I'd say psychologically you're probably wanting to spend more time with her than you currently are, which would also contribute to thinking about her more.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 12:48 ID:ChIDq7P+

Hmm, that might be it. I don't know what could be wrong though. I mean I have a social life of my own. I hang with my friends often, I rarely sit around the house doing nothing and I just listed only a fraction of my hobbies. I just find myself thinking about her a lot. Maybe I am putting the world on her even if I don't realize it.

/Don't make her the only thing that's good in your life, don't make her the only thing that matters, because if it all goes sour you're going to be fucked up. Maybe you should take a bit of time off from her to focus on you./

Maybe you are right about that. But what exactly am I supposed to work on?

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 12:49 ID:ChIDq7P+

/Aren't you lucky! I'd say that it's not love, more that your feelings for her are very strong. It's normal to think about someone all the time if you have very strong feelings for them. I'd say psychologically you're probably wanting to spend more time with her than you currently are, which would also contribute to thinking about her more./

Well, I only see her once a week. Sometimes once every two weeks. We're both kind of busy with school and work.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 13:19 ID:2Jalgh2P

>>4

Basically work on not thinking about her. Try to purge your mind of the constant thoughts you have about her, try to not see only the good in her. Recognize her flaws a bit. Cultivate more of "me", and less of "us". Just don't talk to her as much or see her as much, try like I said to not be blinded to her flaws.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 18:57 ID:zST295rr

OP here, and while I appreciate you guys trying to help me out, I've realized that I don't actually need it. When I look back at my starting post, I over exaggerated how much I thought about her. And like >>3 said, I don't see her often which is why that would have been the case.

Most of what >>2 said is bullshit. I don't have dependency. There is nothing wrong in my life that I must "latch" on to her. She is not my entire world, she is just apart of it. I've thought about us breaking up before. If that ever happened, I know how to deal with a breakup. I've been there and done that before. Granted I will feel crappy for a month or two but like always I will get over it and move on. I admit my life isn't as balance as I'd like but it's not as unbalance as you make it out to be. As for putting her on a pedestal, I don't. I know she isn't the hottest girl out there but I like her for what she is.

You also assume it's a one sided relationship when you said I was putting the weight of the world on her. I don't see how the hell I'm doing that by calling her every few days and wanting to see her sometimes. Wow, that's really unreasonable. In short, thanks, but no thanks. I'd rather do things my way and learn from my own mistakes rather than take someone else's word for it.

Later, 4-ch.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 21:42 ID:Heaven

biggest waste of time on this board.

do not come to a fucking advice forum and get pissy when you don't get the advice you wanted AND MOST IMPORTANTLY not even WANT OR NEED the advice, just doing this shit for attention.
go suck a dick, OP
i hope your girlfriend realizes what an obnoxious shit you are.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-26 23:23 ID:gwEnuDzG

Calm down, >>8. Sometimes it just takes posting on an anonymous advice forum to realize that the best thing you can do is follow your own advice.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-27 00:32 ID:umhc0V6g

XD @ >>8.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-27 18:21 ID:Heaven

>>9
True.

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