Stalking my own girlfriend gives worrying results (14)

1 Name: Michael : 2007-09-20 12:35 ID:bMuPqeds

Myself and my lady friend just went to France for a holiday. She went before me and stayed with a uni friend who lives there for 2 nights before meeting me in a different town for 3 (he wasn't there). Did some facebook pm reading this morning and saw this:

"Kevin I had so much fun, I just wanted to say thank you for having me over...and I can't help but think...I'm so glad I get to see you again soon xx"

What do you reckon 4-ch? She fucking him? Should I leave her? We'd had a few problems recently so maybe it's just emotional support but I'm not sure. She says she's been feeling very confused recently too. We also go to different unis, so only spend extended amounts of time together during the holidays.

His reply:
"I had a really good time too. Was the rest of the trip any good? I'll be back really late saturday. Are you going to be back at uni at this weekend?x"

pic possibly related, & in b4 you dont have a gf, dont ask /b/ for advice etc.

2 Name: Michael : 2007-09-20 12:36 ID:bMuPqeds

Sorry about the last line...I asked 4chan but...they suck. It's not generic copypasta

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 13:07 ID:3ZWqVq+w

Okay, this is just my opinion but...

I trust my lady, but do I trust her staying with another guy for two nights? Hell no. Just the same as she probably wouldn't trust me staying with a girl for two nights. The thought alone just makes me uncomfortable and I feel something like that is a no-brainer of things not to do in relationship.

Now it looks like she didn't have a choice as he was the only person she knows in France (I assume), but if I was in your situation I would be really, uh, shaken up. I probably would be losing sleep over it. Just the thought alone wouldn't settle well with me.

As for what you should do, well, I don't know. I just hope I never find myself in a similar situation.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 14:43 ID:8RsPp5Hg

> dont ask /b/ for advice etc.
> I asked 4chan but...they suck.

You knew it. But you did it anyway.
That's the same situation here. You knowingly sent your gf to the arms of a male friend for two nights alone in the country of romance. The inevitable happened, and now you're all omg and shit.

I suggest that you guys take some time out, reflect on your innerself, learn tai chi etc.
She probably is fucking him, but to confront her about it would be difficult if you don't want to jeopardise the relationship. Her feminine instincts will deduce that you read her personal messages. And even though she is in the wrong, she'll be the one chucking a physco because you breached her privacy, and therefore disrespected her. Although, it is a worrying point that you're cyberstalking her in the first place.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 15:12 ID:EzLR3aY9

I cyberstalked (never used to, but things came up) my ex, found myself in the exact same situation. The other guy apparently had a girlfriend at that time, so I sent all the pm between those 2 to the guy's girlfriend just because I didn't want to be the only victim, then I dumped my girl. She didn't deserve me at all.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 19:07 ID:ZcboHwS4

>>4
Sad truth.
Plus this is possibly a long distance relationship too(Are the different Uni's far apart? How far apart?)
Confronting her means she can and will make you out to be the bad guy. She blow over the spending two nights alone in france to say and broadcast that you read he private stuff.

I suggest getting out of the relationship. Because you don't trust her anyway. Do yourself a favor and free your mind of it.

Either that or trust her more, but even I wouldn't trust her after spending two nights with a guy friend thats not even related to her by blood.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-20 20:45 ID:Heaven

orly.

8 Name: ... : 2007-09-21 01:06 ID:6i2CUIiu

talk to her and in conversation lead up to the question: "Whos Kevin?"

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 04:17 ID:3gFgyDwp

"I had so much fun" doesn't necessarily mean that they banged. They could have just had a nice game of Parcheesi, or some wine and conversation. You could just ask if she did anything in the two days she was there before you. (I think it's safe to presume that they didn't just sit around and watch TV/read books/browse internet, so she should have a real answer for that. Unless, of course, banging.)

My professional opinion as a cyber-sleuth is that more investigation is needed before a conclusion is drawn.

Also, who doesn't at least net-stalk their [girl|boy]friends?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 11:26 ID:PxI/UXOP

In my opinion, his reply doesnt look like an "I banged you" sort of reaply. I would interpret it as more like she unloaded all her problems on him because she was far from home so felt she could rant without consequences. For her, that was a big thing. However, just because they didn't have sex it doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 13:03 ID:w0gZL2y9

Don't get into this paranoid shit. If she's your gal, why doesn't she want to hang out with another guy. Dump her. Slipper Slope. Don't waste any more time.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-21 17:46 ID:qVEMaY+9

>>11
This.

After what happened I doubt you will be able to really trust her again. Drop her and move on.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-22 13:00 ID:fGHolz4D

you could also bring up that she's been feeling confused, and even though it's kind of awkward to do so, ask her if she's had more time to think about it? This gives her an opportunity to break up with you if that's what she wants, and you have less to do with it. if she doesn't want to break up with you, it still gives you an open conversation to discuss your relationship and guage the waters.

Also, Facebook isn't the best place to be judging talk between the two - (non)stupid people realise the openness.

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