I must be insane (63)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-24 00:28 ID:uYJ+rUUf

I'm in love with a fictional character. No, not infatuated. I love this man (I'm a girl). I don't feel the same way about anyone else, real or not. I know a a lot of people who want to date me, so it's not that I can't get a real boy or girlfriend. It's just I don't want them.
I think about him all the time. I didn't start out even attracted to him but after years of playing the games I fell in love with him and like I really know him. It's not just that he represents the ideal partner to me, even if I found a real person like that, I wouldn't care. I only love him.

Is anyone else in this situation? How do they deal with it?

If not, do you think I'm crazy? Just tell me your thoughts on this situation, please.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 14:44 ID:+bKbyIOA

Two things:

Grow up, get a life.

Either you're an adolescent that hasn't grown out of her Peter Pan complex yet. Or, your social life is near non existent (probably hikki). Those are the two types of people who become obsessed with fictional characters.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 20:07 ID:3p8rSCll

Hi all, I'm kinda new here and I need help gettin back in motion. I don't really know how to put it, it's kind of like I lost my interest in girls(not that im homosexual or anything).

It's like ever since my last girlfriend I really don't know how to say it but i guess emotion to talk to girls or feeling like i lost my spunk haha.

I'm a fairly attractive guy(not trying to be cocky or anything) and girls approach me all the time but i haven't had much interest; maybe in a couple but I really haven't pursued anyone.

So I just need some motivation or something thanks in advance.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-25 21:23 ID:uYJ+rUUf

Why do you guys keep thinking I'm a troll?

And I appreciate your replies, even the 'mean' ones as they could very well be true.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-28 20:25 ID:uYJ+rUUf

Who's Mikoto?
>>13

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-09-28 20:25 ID:PfvEkIIo

>>15 GTFO

19 Post deleted by moderator.

20 Name: Female : 2007-10-08 05:10 ID:F7yE+isI

You're probably just horny. I fantasize about Seto Kaiba fucking me all the time. Truth is, it's weird but when you find a real boyfriend, you'll forget you even thought about such a juvenile thing.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-08 14:45 ID:SyGDKjoi

I've always considered myself to have a kind of 2D complex, but I don't think there's anything inherently unhealthy about it. Though I guess that kind of love is guaranteed to be unrequited, and for some that's bad, for others that's good. Don't have to think "should I ask them out", because you can't talk with them. For that reason it reduces the pressure.

I do think it will pass though. More than likely you'll find another character.

As for me, I had a whole year crush on Haruhi and then Yuki, but lately I think I'm favouring Sasaki more.

That being said, lately I've been feeling my first crush on a real person in nearly four years. Whether I actually do something about it is another matter entirely. Rather than risking disappointment I might just enjoy the change in preferences for a while.

22 Name: 13 : 2007-10-08 18:31 ID:XFyx/wZI

>>17
A friend in R/L who wants to marry a certain game character.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-08 22:48 ID:1mz5q0Iy

>>21

I've found it's best just to ride out R/L crushes. I mean, realistically speaking, for those of us who fit the otaku mold, what are the odds that a crush would ever lead to anything worthwhile? I can't imagine many girls would stick around for very long after seeing the dakimakura, figures, and collection of Megami issues.

So, stick with the fictional characters. At least with them, it's no question as to whether they mind who you are -- they're categorically incapable of judging, being inanimate and all.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-08 23:40 ID:Heaven

> I can't imagine many girls would stick around for very long after seeing the dakimakura, figures, and collection of Megami issues.

So, throw them out or put them in storage.
On the bright side, manga and models are still better than owning six RealDolls with triple-entry detachable orifices.
Having actual nonplatonic human contact is still better than both.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-08 23:50 ID:1mz5q0Iy

>>24

>>So, throw them out or put them in storage.
>>So, throw them out
>>throw them out

(((((´・д・)))))

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-10 00:23 ID:RsA/FiIX

I think I've got the same problem, but it's not popular characters, but role=playing ones on MMORPGS.
I've fallen in love with their words and it's made me a bit jaded about guys in general.
Is it bad I prefer virtual boys to real ones?

27 Name: K : 2007-10-10 03:49 ID:6W34wD0u

I'd also consider myself to have some what of a 2D fixation, but I am also an artist, so I think it's more along the lines of being attracted to the colors and lines of a good character design more than it is wishing I could have a relationship with the character, although I do at times find myself thinking, "wow I wish (insertnamehere, lately it's been Konata) was real, it would be so awesome" But then I slap myself and go outside.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-14 23:18 ID:PfvEkIIo

Someone needs to invent a way to create people anyway you want for situations like this. That, or persacoms.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-15 00:17 ID:Heaven

>>26
yes, now go outside

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-15 04:40 ID:Heaven

chii?

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-15 08:42 ID:hSBRtoMm

Seriously, you people should go out more.

For those who think of what are the odds and all that shit: There IS someone to whom you can be attractive, not physically only, but goes between character, intelligence and opinions on subjects. Look at me, I love anime, have my room plastered in anime and game posters, have shelves with figurines, manga and a lot of anime paraphernalia. Heck, even the spades of my ceiling fan have anime images on them.
Still, I've got a steady relationship with an awesome girl. The kicker: She doesn't like anime. She likes me because of what I think, because I am a kinda funny person (os she says) and because I emmanate happiness, so to speak. And I like her for her intelligence and love for the arts.

The point is, don't let a hobby to limit your chance to be with another human being. OF course, chance that he/she will look vaguely similar to your preferred anime character is almost below zero, but with some open mind, some guts, and some shampoo you can find a person you'll probably like.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-15 10:07 ID:Prymdyst

>I can't imagine many girls would stick around for very long after seeing the dakimakura, figures, and collection of Megami issues.

I think I'd propose on the spot.

Believe me, there are many, many geeky girls out there who will love your collection.

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 00:25 ID:1mz5q0Iy

>>32

>>Believe me, there are many, many geeky girls out there who will love your collection.

I believe you. But I also believe that the "geeky girls" to whom you refer are more properly called "figments of the imagination".

Put it this way: between the dakimakura, figures of girls wearing little in the way of clothing, and Megami pin-ups, what I've got is a treasure trove of female objectification. And I admit it. Once you start getting into the pillows, you have to come to terms with the fact that you really have no remaining pride in yourself as a human being.

Now, I can accept, if only theoretically, that some girls might be able to tolerate that. After all, lots of guys in stable relationships get to (somehow) keep their Sports Illustrated swimsuit pin-ups and what have you, so there's a precedent -- my stuff is just abstracted a few degrees further from reality. Small potatoes, theoretically speaking.

Of course, real life is what happens when theory gets T-boned at 90 mph by the Mack truck of practice. Experience has shown me that while pictures of flesh and blood girls in bikinis are considered an acceptable part of hetrosexual male life, pictures of ink and paint girls in same are not. I know this, yet I'm not willing to throw away my collection. Call it obstinance in the face of societal mores, call it the guy from Tianmen Square who got creamed by that tank, call it a seal about to become some shark's dinner, call it whatever.

Tl;dr: my interests + female involvement = catastrophe waiting to happen. But Mr. Secret Admirer, you say, "geeky girls" are different. Fine, let's run with that.

So, somehow I've managed to weasel my way into a relationship with a "geeky girl" who has no issues with the ink and paint thing. Maybe she's running a yaoi fixation on the side, maybe she's into cosplay, whatever. Life is good, right? I've got cuddles and love, and warm happiness stuff. But what's that ominous-looking object falling from the sky? That, my friends, is the 1,500-megaton might of postmodern gender theory, about to toast my nerdy ass.

(cont'd next post)

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 00:25 ID:1mz5q0Iy

(cont'd from previous post)

Pop quiz: why are things like pin-ups and scantily-clad, anatomically-correct figures considered to be offensive by many? Answer: because they reinforce heteronormative gender images that lead to an objectivication of women. (Literally, in this case.)

Now, this in and of itself isn't strictly a problem. (Though I fully expect that the folks from the Third Wavers' Club on campus would dispute that point.) As long as I keep my enjoyment of such things strictly to myself and strive to minimize within my professional and academic lives the associative effects of such an intense male aesthetic gaze, then we don't necessarily have a problem. My interests and my life are separate, and infringe upon nobody and nothing at all. The fact that I'm basically a hermetic loser who has minimal contact with women in his day-to-day life works somewhat in my favor, here.

Again, for whatever reason, I can theoretically accept that a girl might conceivably be willing to tolerate such things within the scope of an otherwise healthy relationship. (That said, I doubt it would actually happen, but continuing on...) However, I cannot, even for a moment, accept that any self-aware member of the female gender would, as you say, love my collection.

Take, for example, a pin-up of Louise from Zero no Tsukaima. She's at the beach, wearing a black string bikiki with red trim and white ribbons where the strings meet the modesty patches. She rests her hands on her hips as she meets the viewer's gaze and scowls, presumably telling the viewer off in her lovably tsundere fashion. I like this pin-up. No, check that, I love it. It's far and away my favorite. If I could get married to it, I would, though I concede the sex would probably be somewhat anticlimactic. Perhaps literally, if paper cuts are involved.

The appeal of this poster to the heteronormative male gaze is self-evident: it's a cute girl in a skimpy bikini. She even appears distressed by the fact that she's being watched, which is, as they say, totally hot. However, the aforementioned male gaze that dominates this picture -- along with Louise's reaction to that gaze -- places in severe doubt the notion that any self-aware girl would even tolerate this poster, much less "love" it.

I could cite further examples, but you're all asleep by now, so I won't bother. That, or you're busy composing other threads about how the music of My Chemical Romance perfectly captures the feeling of being dumped, which no one else has ever experienced. Or about how incest is the greatest thing devised by man since Count Chocula.

My point, however, is simple: a girl might tolerate my figures, pillows, and posters, despite their targeted focus towards a heteronormative male gaze. However, that same focus would categorically prevent a girl from "loving" them, and would, in fact, cast serious doubt on the likelihood of my earier theoretical concession towards the possibility of tolerance.

Thus, for a guy in my position, there it little chance that a girl would tolerate my collection and even less that she would endorse it. My original assertion from >>23 stands. Q.E.D.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 02:00 ID:kRDSs3eY

>>33
>>34

4-ch post of the year

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 02:43 ID:erZo/q/i

>>33-34
This is the first time I've ever seen Q.E.D. used online properly, and in a manner that completely convinced me too.

Of course, from your argument stems an interesting point: Hollywood is a clear study in the heteronormative male gaze, yet it is, for the most part, completely accepted by the female population. A couple goes to a movie; a giant apparition that bleeds sex appears on the screen, more skin than cloth, the man loves it and the girl seems to enjoy it too. Perhaps the objectification of women is not clear until it is taken a step further: to ink and paint.

Though we have become accustomed to seeing 'real' women as sex objects, the fantastical aspect emerges much more clearly in Japanese erotic drawings. They are highly stylized, catered particular to male desire, and thus there is no semblance of humanity. At least fleshy Hollywood sex stars - or even fleshy porn stars - 'look real,' but the posters are clearly things. Their lack of humanity is immediately apparent; they are only candy to be devoured by men. Hollywood, by the simple reality of their stars, professes to give these sex objects power and personality, and we believe it. It becomes normal to objectify these 'real women.'

This is the fundamental difference between a pin-up of a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and one of a bikini-clad anime girl. The former tricks us into a comfortable sense of reality, while the latter disturbingly reminds us that all this is simply fantasy: thus you, >>33-34, will be seen as a freak, a man alienated from the rest of society, because you have apparently heavily retreated into fantasy. But the sad truth is that all of us live in fantasy - none of us truly reside in the reality that so many call 'real life.'

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 03:19 ID:Heaven

It wouldn't be ketsuron without ketsu.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 08:16 ID:gqYQULsf

>>36
I pretty much agree, but would stretch the point further. Female tolerance towards manga pin-ups depends on the cultural context. In Western Europe comics are mainstream, and it does not seem outlandish to have pictures of scantily clad women, even if you are in a couple.

For instance, I know a couple where this (http://bdillustrations.free.fr/diLoiselR1.jpg) kind of pictures hang in the living room.

Actually, I have an even better example. I draw pictures of naked women from porn sites, since it's an easy source material to train body proportions (yes, it's a skewed female subset). Anyway one day I was livid when I saw that my wife pinned some of my sketches in the living room... And it turns out that I never got any negative feedback, even from older generation people.

So three points here:

  • tolerance depends on the cultural context. Probably in more puritanic societies this wouldn't fly.
  • it also probably depends on how you feel/present it. If your place is absolutely covered with the stuff, or if you are embarrassed by it, people will find it strange, the same way I would feel strange if someone covered every surface of their place with train pictures.
  • Women do not necessarily dislike female pin-up pictures. I never suggested my wife to hang those pictures. Also, I was recently looking at some yaoi, and even though it's not really my cup of tea, I would not be pissed of at a girl for having it. It's more the obsession level that I would worry about...

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 08:50 ID:sYJq8vYp

>> 33
>> Experience has shown me that while pictures of flesh and blood girls in bikinis are considered an acceptable part of hetrosexual male life, pictures of ink and paint girls in same are not. I know this, yet I'm not willing to throw away my collection.

That is so true. I finally understood something is not quite right when my non-otaku, non-nerd, fairly moderately geeky if not normal friends started giving me otaku related objects for presents... It shocked me so deeply that I can't quite describe it. Basically I got rid of almost all otaku related stuff I had and only kept the dvd's of the shows I collected so far of off internet and about 10 mangas & comics. Everything else was either thrown away or given away.

It's easier for people to understand if a guy watches a porn movie or a mag from time to time - but it's near to impossible to explain a poster with Belldandy or Lacus Clyne, let alone a bikini-clad anime gal. Or a figurine of an anime girl in very skimpy bikini. For I have been a fairly open otaku and now am not - I understand this on a personal level. I have it in my mind that to have a real relationship with a real woman overrules any of my otaku needs.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 09:07 ID:sYJq8vYp

>>39 I forgot to mention why it bothers me that my friends give me otaku stuff: though I am into anime and manga, I have never actively collected any posters, no figurines and very few mangas and original DVDs. I only printed a few images of off deviantart and pinned them. I never actually got any negative feedback for this hobby of mine, even my mother liked the stuff I drew, and my father never bothered me to much about the "cartoons".

When I started to receive otaku related gifts it felt kinda strange. As the stuff pilled it got weird. And after I saw what otakus keep in their rooms on their shelves I noticed suddenly that my room is starting to look like an otaku room without me actually actively collecting the stuff! As I've explained it the previous paragraph I never collected any of this myself.

And then I saw Densha Otoko. The movie and the drama. It clicked in me - noooooooooo way I want this livestyle :O_o"" So I rolled back to the way I used to be before all of this started and am now trying to keep my interest into anime for myself because I really don't need my friends to give me this stuff. It's scaring me. I'm into it for "cartoons" and illustration - I'm not quite the stereotype otaku.

So that's why I got so upset with all of that.

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 09:11 ID:sYJq8vYp

>>40 Uh oh - and to be fair to the OP: Yes, I had (have?) a crush on Belldandy ^_^" If I should be so lucky it'd be nice to meet and date a girl like her.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-16 19:11 ID:soOqDRZn

>>40
thats a closet otaku, and its good to be one. enjoying anime shouldn't be that big of deal that one should advertise it to everyone.

43 Name: 33-34 : 2007-10-17 12:28 ID:1mz5q0Iy

>>38

>>tolerance depends on the cultural context. Probably in more puritanic societies this wouldn't fly.

Well, I live in the rural northern United States -- near the Canadian border. People here are fundamentalist with respect to religion and exceptionally brittle with respect to body-image issues. I don't discuss my interests with anyone, and I've never once been given reason to regret (or even reconsider) this policy.

I trust the folks up here about as far as I can throw them. Seeing as how I'm a nerd, that isn't very far at all.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 13:54 ID:Mp8nDb7w

Basically, where we are at in this conversation is R/L women and their intolerance of female objectification, am I right? Have you spoken with R/L fujoushi? These girls objectify anime/J-rock men to an extent that I'd deem just as unhealthy as the extreme objectification of women male otaku enjoy with their eroanime merchandise.

Has everyone on this board only met with yuppie prep girls and extreme feminists?? When you describe "girl geeks", I can hardly believe that you've met a real, hardcore fujoushi. If anything, the hardest part of getting a fujoushi interested is proving that you can give her more than her eyecandy yaoi fantasies. Fujoushi don't care about objectification; they objectify men just as much as otaku objectify women. The question they're more likely to ask is if you are ready to worship their bodies and their sexuality as easily as you are able to worship the bodies and sex of these ink and paper beauties.

Further than that, I can see both otaku and fujoushi having difficulties relating to their mates as people rather than things to be used. Neither one is all that interested in reality and its inconveniences. Nothing is more inconvenient than compromising ones lifestyle to include the wants and needs of another person.

That said, my suggestion to any hardcore fan is to take a hard look at their romantic priorities. Are you ready to accept another person's life as a part of your own? Can you put your needs aside for someone else's sake? Is having the warmth and support of another person worth having to support and cherish them? The reason young teens go ga-ga over boy bands and pop stars is that they aren't ready for another person in their lives and so vent their sexual frustration in fantasy. This is where the otaku and fujoushi seem to be permanently(?) stuck. Decide whether you are ready to move past this. If not, continue with your fantasy. You won't be hurt this way, but sometimes you really do need to hurt to feel anything at all.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 15:04 ID:RSXM1SR+

>>44

Epic

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 15:24 ID:4P8rNfjy

>>44 Was ready to do what you say, she wasn't... got hurt, got over it, and am ready to do it all again. Does that mean I'm no longer an otaku?

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-17 22:40 ID:Heaven

>>46

No, just that you're a glutton for punishment.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-18 01:54 ID:1mz5q0Iy

>>44

>>Fujoushi don't care about objectification; they objectify men just as much as otaku objectify women. The question they're more likely to ask is if you are ready to worship their bodies and their sexuality as easily as you are able to worship the bodies and sex of these ink and paper beauties.

Isn't that a two-way street, though? I kind of shudder at the thought of anyone worshipping my sexuality.

And ultimately, I don't even think it's possible, really, to worship the sexuality of a flesh-and-blood person the same way that one can worship the sexuality of an ink-and-paint one. Real girls, unsurprisingly, are real people, with all the faults and foibles that such status suggests. They're concerned with securing the Gruenemayer account before the end of the quarter, taking the car in for warranty-covered recall work, crunching figures to maximise the employer contribution to the 401(k) -- the same sort of trifling banalities that people go through every day.

And then you've got health issues, stress, whose turn is it to wash the dishes tonight, what do you think about having kids, and when are you going to let me meet your parents, anyway. Frankly, I can't even imagine how sex fits into that sort of relationship framework.

But with ink-and-paint girls, everything is beautifully simple. Those trifling banalities of everyday life are mercifully absent, and we find the girl able to explore the full depth of her charm -- especially when a talented scenario writer mans the helm. But even within a single illustration, we can discern a rich visual narrative that tells a far more compelling, and endearing, story than can any real-life episode.

Take a magazine spread, again of Louise from Zero no Tsukaima. She's sitting on a bed, wearing a one-piece black summer dress with frilly straps and trim, a white bow over her breastbone, and creamy-white knee socks. Flanking Louise on the bed are her older sisters, Eleanor and Cattleya. The sisters are fixing up Louise's hair, each taking half and fashioning it into one of a pair of pigtailed braids. Louise appears to be embarrased by the attention -- an uncertain, slightly vulnerable expression shows on her face. She tucks her arms between her legs in a timid, evasive gesture. In the extreme foreground rest a pair of fancy, high-heeled sandals and a matching yellow dress, much more formal than the slip that Louise currently wears.

The narrative in this image is clear: Louise's sisters are dressing her up, perhaps for an event, perhaps for something less formal. Either way, she doesn't seem as enthusiastic about the activity as they are. This precious, almost voyeuristic look into Louise's private life touches the soul in a number of ways.

(cont'd next post)

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-18 01:55 ID:1mz5q0Iy

(cont'd from previous post)

Firstly, it presents an isolated moment in time. We can conjecture as to what occurred in the time before the occurrance of the image, and what will come after, but the only time of significance is the present that exists in the image. There are no trifling banalities present within the image, and since the image lacks a past or future, there have been and will be no such blemishes.

Secondly, the image shows us a contrast in character. Normally, Louise carries herself around with a feisty and combative demeanor, yet in this image, we see her more vulnerable. She is unguarded, and in this special moment we can see the true dimensions of her personality shine in all their brilliance.

And lastly, there is the issue of aesthetic space to consider. When Heidegger wrote of the work of art, he noted that the work has a transportative quality. Art serves the same functions as did the temples of old: both serve to connect the interloper with something beyond himself. The temple transports the pilgrim into the realm of the divine, even though his body remains on earth. The work transports the viewer into the realm of art, even though he remains physically standing in front of it at the gallery. Because of this transportative quality, the image of Louise has an unreality about it that cannot merely be attributed to its nature as an abstracted work of ink and paint (or in this case, I suppose, ink and halftone).

>>44, you wrote about fantasy being the vehicle through which young teens, otaku, and fujoushi "vent their sexual frustration". Part of the reason, I think, that illustrations of men and women can instill the same reaction among educated adults as flesh-and-blood pop stars can among teens is that, through the transportative qualities of the illustration's power as a work of art, the illustration ushers the viewer into a more potent realm of fantasy than that possible in real life. Within the pure aesthetic space encompassed by the image, fantasy reigns supreme, unencumbered by those trifling banalities that I wrote of earlier. For the one abstract moment in time depicted in the work, the viewer leaves himself to visit that encapsulated aesthetic space wherein the true personality of the work's subject is revealed.

The work, this illustration, then, provides for a transcendent experience. (I wouldn't call it an out-of-body experience -- that phrase carries spiritualist connotations that do not apply to this particular situation.) That transcendency, by definition, offers an experience that cannot be replicated in real life. If we love the work for the experience that it provides, then it stands to reason that we cannot love anything flesh-and-blood in the same manner. A real person may be able to do many things for another, but can never transport that other into the pure aesthetic space of art. That remains the exclusive domain of the work, which is why we otaku do what we do.

At least, that's my theory of it.

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-18 02:15 ID:RsA/FiIX

this is like the best thread in forever

51 Name: fartman : 2007-10-18 15:13 ID:ZpqoeDsw

i really dont understand why you had to choose that man when there are so many nice guys in the world. But too late. everything's too late. u probably cant change ur mind anyway. so, my advice is u go your own way.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-18 16:30 ID:3hrY0DiE

>>49

> That transcendency, by definition, offers an experience that cannot be replicated in real life. If we love the work for the experience that it provides, then it stands to reason that we cannot love anything flesh-and-blood in the same manner. A real person may be able to do many things for another, but can never transport that other into the pure aesthetic space of art.

I disagree,... A real person can indeed have this kind of impact in other people. And this is because a person can also abstract itself from the banality of everyday life.

Take the example of a husband long deceased. The widow will gradually develop the same type of transport for her husband as an otaku for his favorite character. Same thing for the person who was dumped/separated from a partner which she still loves.

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-18 16:30 ID:3hrY0DiE

(continued)

Separation in time or in space can have the same effect of idealization of the other person.

Can you achieve the same results without separation? I believe so, as long as you achieve a psychological separation between the two persons. A charismatic leader of a sect can maintain his aura among followers despite a routine contact because it achieved a role separation that renders him immune to "banatily contamination".

If you are lead to believe that a person is profoundly different from you, that she is at "another level", you can idealize it even without separation, because your imagination is given space and freedom to fill the psychological gap that separates them.

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 05:35 ID:egv/mZ4h

>>1... Might this fictional character be named sephiroth by any chance?
At least you're not alone. Many girls have fallen in love with fictional characters, most commonly sephiroth lol. You just don't hear about it because almost nobody is willing to admit to such deep feelings for a fictional character.
I've experienced something similar, I wouldn't call it love, but very strong feelings for a fictional character [no, not sephiroth lol]
Here are my strategies for dealing with it :)

  1. Trying to keep myself open to attraction to real guys, actively looking for hot guys I might be interested in... i think this is important since I do hope to fall in love with a real person and have a family one day lol.
  2. Fantasise. Lots. it fun, and it helps.
  3. almost definitely you're already doing the first two things I mentioned, but i doubt you'd know about this. Astral projection :) Study it in depth. Learn all about it, then learn how to do it. Get good at it, and you're totaly set. seriously.

55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 14:55 ID:zegHQYMs

Finding beauty in the world of art, where perfection is possible, has been an activity for a long time. But the key danger is this: escape from reality ultimately ends up leaving one empty.

The lack of humanity in perfection is no new idea. Dystopian/utopian literature has expressed this concept again and again. Understanding other people, seeing their flaws and forgiving them - is where the warmth of soul truly lies. Humanity's imperfection is what makes us human. Perfection in the form of anime girls is inherently beautiful, I will not argue that. Yet this beauty becomes dangerous, because it is inhuman. Once we lose our ability to appreciate and respect other humans in all their flaws, we fail to function in society, and are doomed to loneliness. Those beautiful anime girls will not keep you company when you wake up one day and realize how alone you really are.

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 14:57 ID:tGKZUjVI

Is that fictional character Sephiroth? If it is, then he's taken.

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-19 15:08 ID:3hrY0DiE

>>55

Actually, it would be interesting to imagine what would real life routine be with a fictional character,... ;-)

If somehow the favorite character would come to IRL and have a relationship with the person. Guess it would be an unmitigated catastrophy

58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-20 16:21 ID:Heaven

>>1
It's Jesus, isn't it?

59 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-23 22:40 ID:PfvEkIIo

No, people, it's NOT Sephiroth. Or Jesus, though that did make me laugh. You guys have seriously made some interesting points...Also, about the astral projection thing...could I get more information on how to do it and why it helps my situation?

60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-23 23:54 ID:kRDSs3eY

>>59

it won't, it's New Age pseudoscience BS

61 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-24 00:07 ID:LMBCUzZI

>>55

But then again real-life relationships aren't a bucket of peaches either. I don't think sex and marriage make for moral development or growth of personality and warmth. I hesitate even to say that it could help mature people, considering our present divorce rates. So much human personal strife, stress, and violence is involved in these relationships. It's like praising the virtues of nations without mentioning the wars or harmful nationalism, or mass-stupidity that have been the hallmarks of the last century.

There is a danger that our generation is having a very hard time growing up. Part of this translates into marrying later and having fewer if any children. Japan has had this problem for quite some time now. But I wonder if this is a problem or the result of a healthier society.

But really, I don't think human humanity is particularly "human", if that makes any sense. At least not particularly more human than our art can render it. The things we remember about past civilizations, the things we consider the best when we think of humans, are usually art-related, because I guess at the end of the day we like living in our heads, at least we introverts do. I've always believed life imitates art in many profound ways.

But it's important that even extreme introverts no how to live with people, or we fail as a society. Some of our most revered humans, revered for their humanity, are monks who never marry anyone. They isolate themselves in meditation retreats for long stretches of time. But they do live together in close proximity when not on retreat.

anyway, /rant.

62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-24 04:29 ID:F3nafzyu

>>33>>34>>48>>49

I'd normally avoid a man who objectifies women, but your posts were amazingly insightful and I kind of love you now.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-24 09:33 ID:Heaven

>>38 is too right. Especially

>If your place is absolutely covered with the stuff, or if you are embarrassed by it, people will find it strange, the same way I would feel strange if someone covered every surface of their place with train pictures.

>>44
>Basically, where we are at in this conversation is R/L women and their intolerance of female objectification, am I right?
Thing is, everybody objectifies other people, because they're external. The important difference is if you constantly reduce people to stereotypes or not. To mention what someone else said: If you keep treating other people like objects that exist for your sole usage, you're an egocentric bastard and you'll never feel truly happy. But if you from time to time objectize a set of ideas, such as an idea of what kind of girl you'd like in your life, there's nothing wrong with it. As long as you never forget that ideas are exactly that - a simplified reality with heavy focus on desirable points. Everything has its pros and cons, people just tend to forget the cons when they're too busy swooning over the pros.

>>49

>A real person may be able to do many things for another, but can never transport that other into the pure aesthetic space of art.

You'd be surprised. This without being separated from the person. It's also claimed that marriages where the partners see each other through the pink glasses of mushiness are the ones that last the longest and are the happiest. I can attest to that this doesn't mean that you have to be unrealistic. It just means you'll happilly forgive them for the small mistakes they make, as long as they don't make a habit of it and learn from their experiences. This goes both ways, by the way.

And now, some random posts I found at 2ch which I got reminded of when reading this thread:

>539 :名無しさん@英語勉強中:2007/10/24(水) 02:38:45
>ttp://hss.fullerton.edu/sociology/orleans/symmetry.txt
>For Johnston, the real fun starts after the judging is finished. By collecting people's ideal faces and comparing them to average faces, he can measure the distance between fantasy and reality. As a rule, he finds that an ideal female has a higher forehead than an average one, as well as fuller lips, a shorter jaw and a smaller chin and nose. Indeed, the ideal 25-year-old woman, as configured by participants in a 1993 study, had a 14-year-old's abundant lips and an 11-year-old's delicate jaw. Because her lower face was so small, she also had relatively prominent eyes and cheekbones.
>540 :名無しさん@英語勉強中:2007/10/24(水) 02:50:12
>"Indeed, the ideal 25-year-old woman, as configured by participants in a 1993 study, had a 14-year-old's abundant lips and an 11-year-old's delicate jaw. Because her lower face was so small, she also had relatively prominent eyes and cheekbones. "
>Woah, no wonder anime girls are so popular!
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