A total newbie. (116)

1 Name: OP : 2007-09-30 13:42 ID:/jjwW8tc

So, there is this girl. She's my dad's student. We've been hanging out sometimes during lunchtime at work (we work at different areas of he city) and I gotta say, it's kind of fun. Recently, I just started holding hands with her and (deep breath)... it was my first time holding hands with a girl. I've also read a bit from Neil Strauss and Mystery, using some techniques, such as cocky and funny, revealing her real desires, making her laugh a bit. It's great, but something is fishy. Paranoia and insecurities, to be exact. Now, I know some Japanese girls like foreign guys, but I'm not exactly Mr. Sexy. I look fat, and I think it stems from that, really. I am thinking she is just being very kind to me, like how Japanese are. So, I am now sitting and thinking to myself "Nothing is going to happen, because you have nothing to offer her." I guess what I'm trying to figure out if she is genuine or if she is just being kind and considerate. Help me, please?

67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-28 04:33 ID:zOuTQSo+

>>66
somewhere between one week and ten years

68 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-28 10:37 ID:Afe0UxMB

>>66

depends on how much time you spend together

69 Name: OP!!Fdtd10CQ : 2007-10-28 14:07 ID:jSBUq5ZU

>>68

Usually once a week.

I got some TITTY today.
And vagina smells like... sweat? Amidoinitrong?

70 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-28 17:37 ID:ZaTjzPZo

>>69
o lawd

I don't want to discourage you, OP, but aren't you moving a little fast?

71 Name: OP!!Fdtd10CQ : 2007-10-28 21:16 ID:jSBUq5ZU

>>70
To be honest, I think so, too.
However, I'm the one who is moving ahead.
I wonder why she's so down with it.
You think she is t3h whore?

72 Name: OP!!Fdtd10CQ : 2007-10-28 21:44 ID:jSBUq5ZU

Wait, just to make things clear, we didn't have sex.
Here's what happened.
yesterday, we went to see Munch's exhibition at the Tokyo Museum of Western Art. After that, we made out a bit in a nearby forest. We were walking for a while, until we decided to go to Ikebukuro (again) and eat some okonomiyaki, which I was glad we did. After thaaaaat, we went to a park. There things slowly got more heated up. After making out for a while, I started kissing her neck. More and more, I moved forward, until I started licking the top of her nipple area. Things got more and more heavy, then i took her to a more remote area of the woods. And that's where I licked both of her nipples and fingered her. This went on for about half an hour. We made out a lot yesterday.

Thoughts? I should be proud of myself, but I'd like to reflect on this just a bit.

BTW I'm the one being forward, she's complying.

73 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-29 02:45 ID:z1o5eaVx

>>66 a serious relationship starts after lovey-dovey dreamland, continuous 5 times a day sex, became twice a week that when it starts because that when people start thinking about serious relationship but in lovey-dovey time people are normally blinded by Love, so as human nature people put on act and we hide our real selves,

A serious relationship starts after a month or 2 month, never in weeks, normally the first few weeks are considered a test run or lovey-dovey stage, and the longer y'all together, the more likely you have a serious relationship.

this guy >>69 is likely to cheat on his wife or his girlfriend, the guys is ready judging one sexy he had. even if your going lick, stick your tongue in her vagina, don't judge, you started judging one, you gonna start judging them all, that's why I assumed you going to cheat.

>>71 she down with you for the sex, but i can't say she a whore because i don't know her

74 Name: OP!!Fdtd10CQ : 2007-10-29 02:56 ID:0mFanNfT

>>73

How, no wait, WHY would I cheat on her??
We confessed to each other yesterday, and when she said "I love you", things took a turn for the heavier.
I didn't lick her vagina. I fingered her in the park in a dark spot. It was an 'In The Moment' moment. I took my fingers out and licked my fingers, though. She was really into it, though, because she started to grab me harder and started gripping me hard. She complied with every damn move I made. Goddamn.
I swear, Anonymous, it's like the animal side came out of me.
I don't think she's a whore, I'm just speculating. Again.
FUCK.

75 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-29 03:36 ID:z1o5eaVx

you are judging her vagina saying it smell like sweat, avoid it by not smelling her vagina even after touching it just not smell it, never never judge woman body even the vagina, once you start you'll not stop.

you and you girlfriend are at lovey-dovey stage, where the only thing you like about each other is getting sex from each other, you blinded by sex, when you hit reality, it would be good to hear what you think.

am tired later

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-29 03:42 ID:0mFanNfT

>>75

Ah, no. I just described what it smelled like, LOL.
Sorry, I didn't mean to degrade her so much. I'm a very curious person IRL.

77 Name: Default : 2007-10-30 02:30 ID:rFDeHLVr

>>76
I read almost every post here. I must say, this is probably the encouragement I need and it contains a gold mine of wealth. I thank you. bows awkwardly

Uh... well, being curious is fine, being nosy (bad pun, LOL) is not always fine.

78 Name: OP!!Fdtd10CQ : 2007-10-30 12:38 ID:jSBUq5ZU

>>77
BOW WITH PRIDE, DAMN YOU.
HAVE SOME CONFIDENCE AND SOME ARROGANCE.
Truth be told, that's what got me ahead :)

79 Name: Default : 2007-10-30 19:57 ID:rFDeHLVr

>>78
Yeah, I'm confident, it's just that that was a way of thanking you I haven't done in a while.

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-31 00:45 ID:0mFanNfT

>>79
OK :)

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-31 01:28 ID:0mFanNfT

Should I be wary of how soon this is happening, really?
I mean, she doesn't even know I'm a virgin.

82 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-31 03:09 ID:KNCBjCbJ

>>81

I wouldn't say it matters how soon it's happening, but I would highly recommend you let her know that you are a virgin. Basically because then she will understand if you are a bit timid/unsure rather than just thinking you are a prude and wanting to move onto somebody more sexual.

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-10-31 07:23 ID:0mFanNfT

>>82
Well, I am a bit unsure.

I mean, last Sunday, we were both raring to go. But since she didn't have enough time, we didn't do much except for what we did at the park. I was in the heat of the moment, but I had way too many thoughts at the time too (irrelevant to what was going on. I was thinking WOW I'M ACTUALLY DOING THIS-RIGHT HERE-INTHISPARK- TODAY - SKY LOOKS NICE - THAT BUILDING IS PRETTY - THAT GUY BEHIND US IS ANNOYING [he didnt see us, I think]). Now, I'm just plain nervous. I mean, I'm confident that the sex will be good, but I really have no idea why I'm so worried.

84 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 01:12 ID:0mFanNfT

Update: Seems that she hasn't ever gone through with sex?
What the fuck? She stopped halfway or something, I don't get it.
Why? Oh well, I just messaged her and told her she was probably scared. I didn't know how else to respond to it.
Guys, I'm getting nervous. Advais?

85 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 02:24 ID:0mFanNfT

More: She's scared of pregnancy.
Understandable.

86 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 03:26 ID:Heaven

>>85

"There are no such things as condoms in Japan!"

87 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 03:58 ID:0mFanNfT

>>86
For real, she's tripping.

88 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 06:26 ID:SDm3ySTU

Well, the number one sure method of not getting pregnant is to not have sex at all. It's a good precaution to NOT have sex. But if sex is all you are after, plenty of other girls around that'll give it easier. Otherwise, respect her wishes. Plenty of other ways to get off. Anal, oral. etc.

89 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 06:34 ID:0mFanNfT

>>88
I'm not going to force her into anything. She's just scared of getting pregnant. And I've gone without sex for so long, what's a longer wait? I'm already grateful for what I have. I didn't get with her for the sex (although she does turn me on, usually).

90 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 06:36 ID:0mFanNfT

Plus, she'd be my first time. I'm sure this will be worth it.

91 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 12:03 ID:76wJcXA/

>>84

Let her know that you are a virgin, that'll help with any nervous conversations about sex where you aren't quite sure what to say.

92 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 13:48 ID:jSBUq5ZU

>>91
She already knows, so it's all good. All she did was just smile more and touch my face like I'm DARLING, AWWWW.

So, any advice for a beginner? I want to rock her world.

93 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 14:07 ID:c4kbLX5c

make sure u know where her clit is beforehand, so u arent funbling around and staring at her face for a reaction when ur actually doing it.

94 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-01 15:22 ID:76wJcXA/

Ask her to show you/guide you as to what feels good, where to touch and where not to etc etc. Some girls just lay there like a sack of potatos, makes it harder for you because you have no clue what she wants. Communication is good.

95 Name: LonelyLover : 2007-11-02 07:05 ID:D5D//EVh

well when I was with my gf I would first start off just with kissing and then possibly caress her stomach with my lips and work my way up to her tits. also if you kiss down her back along the spine (it might be ticklish for her) but she will be turned on by it (also try along the shoulders and neck). all this doesnt have to be just kissing, you can use your hands but it seems she gets more out of it if you kiss there. basically tease her and she will be begging for it. just have to know where the most erogenous zones are for a woman.

96 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-02 12:13 ID:uDaqScvv

condoms! do LOTS of foreplay, explore her body find her "V' and dont mistake them with the bunghole. show that you care for her, not just wanted to f**k her. ask how she felt, talk romantic stuff. compliment her a lot.
and for the love of god, dont forget to take shower, brush your teeth and groom yourself a little bit.

97 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-02 13:54 ID:jSBUq5ZU

>>93
I found it, it's like the stiffest part there.

>>94
When I play around with her, she definitely doesn't move like a sack of potatoes.

>>95
Nice. So far, I moved from the neck down to her ta-tas. She's ticklish around the lower back, I'm thinking of bringing an ice cube to have some more fun.

>>96
I asked my co-worker today for advice on condoms, and I gots me a pair. FOR 735 YEN I BETTER GET SOME. GODDAMN IT.
Also, I groom, shower, and brush my teef everyday.
Also, NO U.

Thanks, Anonymous!

It just hit me, too. This has come along so well.
Wow.

98 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-04 06:55 ID:jSBUq5ZU

Well, Anonymous... this is it.
TONIGHT.
Thanks to all that have helped me, trolled, criticized, supported, encouraged, and of course read my thread. Wish me luck and no leaks!

(By the way, Japanese condoms are fucking TIGHT on penises.)

99 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-04 11:51 ID:Heaven

I noticed that about Japanese condoms too. I'm not even especially large and it was a tight fit. (Next time I take over a supply if I'm planning to do anything.)

100 Name: OP!!3NjpLGg5 : 2007-11-04 14:19 ID:jSBUq5ZU

IF IT'S NOT ONE THING, IT'S ANOTHER.
I CAN NEVER GET A FUCKING BREAK!
WHEN DO I GET MINE, HUH?!
FUCK YOU.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU.
IT'S ALWAYS THE SAME WITH ME.
ALL GOOD UNTIL THE SHIT FALLS.
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCJKZASMZSHHHJGH
WHAT IS A MAN? HMM? APPARENTLY, NOT SHIT TONIGHT.
FUCK.
WHY?
WHY ME?
IT'S NOT O-FUCKING-KAY.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so, so sorry.

This is my rant.

Tonight, I couldn't get it hard enough to penetrate.
I'm a fucking failure, /love/.
I ate her out and everything, she came, but I just couldn't penetrate. I couldn't even stay hard long enough. Why? She gave me head, she jacked me off, she even boarded me on a sofa. What the fuck happened? This was not supposed to happen!
And the worst part is, in the end, she said to me "I'm sorry. It's my fault." I felt like shit. It's the lowest I felt in my fucking life. what do you tell someone who doesn't even speak english well who knows enough to blame herself and make her feel shit? I wanted to cry right there, but I knew I couldn't look like a TOTAL pussy. I don't know what the hell to do, I don't know what happened, I don't know if I can see her again, I don't know how I can even face her. Why, /love/? Please help me, I write this to you with tears in my eyes. The meaning of me, my manhood, has been brought to the level of shit tonight. I am NOTHING.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING.
EVEN WHEN SHE WAS GIVING ME HEAD, I WAS LIKE "OH OKAY. What now?"
That's not supposed to happen!!!

Please. Please help.

101 Name: LonelyLover : 2007-11-04 19:08 ID:D5D//EVh

no offense, but this isnt the personal issues board.

102 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-04 19:41 ID:Heaven

An elaborate 100 post troll? Or THE GREATEST /LOVE/ THREAD EVER? Either way, this is brilliant. I love it. I'm eating up every second of it. Who needs TV when you have /love/?

103 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-04 21:39 ID:jSBUq5ZU

Fine. This is going there.

104 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-28 00:37 ID:0mFanNfT

Hay /love/, OP here.

I have an update on us.

Please read.

So yesterday she was acting a little less lovey-dovey. Hell, we didn't even kiss goodbye when we got to the station! She has a big competition coming up, and I think it's from the stress. I could be wrong, but who knows. Anyways, I wanted to talk to her today during lunch and tell her that we should take a break while she has to practice for the competition. Fast forward to the evening. Well, I talked to her, and I think she wants to break up. I don't have an official break-up... but I get the feeling I messed up. See, she's worried about getting lessons from my dad, yeah? That's her top priority. When she asks me about my parents to see if they allow us to date, I keep saying "I don't care." Which to me comes off as being immature. As well as me touching her when she is in front of her peers or other people, including my dad. I realized last night that I am acting like an immature child who is all touchy-feely--- which the Japanese are not. I don't think that's the main reason, but that is what I am assuming.

She wants to talk to me tomorrow... because for some reason she couldn't tell me much yesterday when I waited for her and surprised her after work.

I understand that I must change to improve myself and to improve my character, but I'd like to continue this relationship with her. What's your take on all of this? Do you think she is going to break up with me for sure? What can I do now?

105 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-28 04:29 ID:adxy0GnR

At the risk of making generalizations, Japanese tend to have a strong sense of shame. It is possible that the shame is now haunting her; despite our progressive society, it is possible that she now feels guilty about dating you, possibly because she's your dad's student, or because she's worried about other people's approval of your relationship. This would explain her dislike about you two being touchy-feely in public.

I cannot offer any useful advice, I'm afraid. Perhaps you should confront her about it, but this could be dangerous, and even if she did open up to you, it will be very hard to erase something as ingrained as shame. For now, maybe it would be best to cut down on the PDAs until you've discussed things with her more. I wish you the best of luck no matter what you do.

106 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-28 04:39 ID:0mFanNfT

>>105
What does PDA mean?

107 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-28 04:39 ID:0mFanNfT

Never mind, found out.

108 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-28 13:43 ID:Heaven

I have a PDA.

109 Name: The Provider : 2007-11-28 22:45 ID:Heaven

>>106
**P**ublic **D**isplay(s) of **A**ffection.

110 Name: The Provider : 2007-11-28 22:47 ID:Heaven

aww, crap. Bold apparently doesn't work, or I must have done it wrong... facepalms I apologize.

111 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-29 01:59 ID:0mFanNfT

Thanks, >>105>>109.
Gais, I think this relationship moved too fast and she is confused. She said she wants to talk to me today, and I think she's going to tell me what's up. Break-up seems inevitable, but I guess all is well that ends well. Any threads that talk about break-ups?

112 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-29 02:38 ID:A2jSnirn

>>111
I think you're getting too far ahead of yourself. There's no break-up until you're actually broken-up.

113 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-29 02:41 ID:0mFanNfT

>>112

True. I might just be jumping the gun as usual.

114 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-29 07:58 ID:Heaven

All of you are a bunch of Gaia fags

115 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-11-29 21:35 ID:Heaven

>>111
If you can get through this without breaking up, it will make your relationship stronger. But if you're assuming already that you're going to be breaking up, you're only making things worse for both of you. You need to fight if you want to keep this relationship alive.

116 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-19 01:46 ID:0mFanNfT

Hey, guys. Thanks for all the help.

I come to you today to tell you that I am thinking of separating with her. I've been thinking. She's 23, she already finished university, and now works in Yamaha 2 hours away from her house. I am 19, and am currently thinking about the future. I think we should separate and go our own ways. She has to find someone more stable. She's working everyday, helping out her family, with a deadbeat dad. She told me that if her mom gets sick, she must die because they have no money for the medicine and surgery, were it to happen. Also, since because she is a pianist, she should at least get her Doctor's in order to have a more stable future, which she currently can't because of money restraints and troubles. She's working with her sisters in order to keep some balance in the house. I feel she should go to the final school and get the master's. I don't know if I should continue this relationship in order for her to find someone who can support her well. I can't help her any bit, other than going to her concerts and competitions. She told me she's worried about her future. I don't want to hold her back, so I might let her go.

She was the first to ever like me, take in all my faults, and love me for who I was. My first girlfriend, the person I lost my virginity to, and my first love.

Thoughts? Comments? This is going to be a very hard thing for me to do, but I know in my heart and mind that it's right.

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.