I seem infinitely unable to find the right timing for kissing the girl. She pushes me away and gives me angry looks 1/3rd of the time, which of course hurts my feelings but and makes me realize there's probably a closet nympho inside of me.
How do you find the right balance? I'm a shy person .. asking for kisses and sex like you're asking for a loan in the bank seems horrible. I don't want to do it.
And so I've been pushed off sometimes, always D:
You're probably ugly.
I smell high school
First thing is yeah you don't ask for kisses. Second, you should try to escalate towards a kiss (and all the way to sex) rather than suddenly having a big "moment" where you go in for the kiss without laying any foundation work. You want the girl to feel comfortable with you, so start with touching lightly and then pulling away before she asks you to stop. What I mean by this is for example: stroke her leg for a second or 2 while you are both having a good time, but then pull away, rather than leaving your hand there for her to knock away. This means that she's getting used to being touched by you and will start to wish you actually kept your hand there. Also, because she doesn't have time to complain she will actually start to feel like she enjoys being touched. All this escalates (touching different places in different ways etc) towards a kiss in a smooth progression. If you just dive straight in for the kiss without laying any foundations she will be very uncomfortable and so not want to carry on the kiss and will lose her trust and respect for you.
Definitely don't ask for a kiss! :) Kisses happen naturally, you see it in her eyes if she's in for it or not. If you judge she wouldn't mind a kiss move in without hesitation. And there's no reason to be dead serious about it neither - it should be fun after all.
> asking for kisses and sex like you're asking for a loan in the bank like you're asking for a loan in the bank seems horrible
But if you don't, then it's RAPE.
You really don't have to go for it all at once - a small kiss to start is perfectly normal. When both are comfortable with that they can move on - and that can take days, weeks, months to some! Easy does it, take it at the pace you two are comfortable with. No girl will kill you if you two date and you move in for a gentle kiss... not in my experience at least :)
You just have to build it up. It is not a set formula where on the 3rd date you go for the kiss. You just need to build enough trust and attraction between the two of you and when the time is right you just going of the kiss. Don't ask at all, if you feel like you need validation to kiss her be like "i feel like kissing you now."
I actually wouldn't mind if my boyfriend sometimes surprised me by kissing me out of the blue. But not a full on kiss, just a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. Though I'd like to get some prior kind of warning if mouth to mouth is going to be involved.
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You people are right.. I do build up though, it's probably just way too fast for them.
Now to find out how to make things better with this one when you've already blown it .. lol
You people are right.. I do build up though, it's probably just way too fast for them.
Now to find out how to make things better with this one when you've already blown it .. lol
More details please: how badly blown is it actually?
Sorry about double post
>>14
Last I saw her was pushed off, angry and annoyed stare, cold goodbye D:
>>15
Oooooo bad vibes... :( Ok then, suppose you call her and politely apologize for being a jerk and asking how you can recoup? Don't forget to apologize for coming on to strong and if she agrees to a second date or meeting for a coffee at least - be nice? ;) Slowly does it you know. Here's how I like to go (as far as body contact goes - you do realize there's more to it than just that?):
1st base - holding hands at the table or in cinema
2nd base - holding hands in public
3rd base - a hug (doesn't have to be more than a friendly hug, just you know, a hug, nothing more)
4th base - a kiss. Careful here, it's the first one. Make sure you read her body language right, women do give out signals when they want you to do something - though I can't quite say what they are because I do it intuitively, without any thinking. If you decide to go for it, do it without hesitation, but DO NOT be forceful. Play along with her.
5th base - you two might go for more serious kissing business now - and then some more. Important thing is to be a bit bold, but never forceful. Let's see... I put my hand on her knee, or hold her hips, or tickle her - something naughty but harmless. If shes up for that THEN I might start petting and so on. But always be sure she's up for the game and comfortable with it - don't let your hormones and "needs" cloud your judgment. She'll do her part along, she might surprise you - women aren't particularly shy if they want to play to.
There you go. I hope a step-by-step of how I do it helps. Important notes:
I feel a need to explain about no. 3 and then I'll stop :) I went through all the bases in one night - and on other occasions it took several dates just for a hug. Ok, bye now, sorry for a long post.
How is a hug above holding hands?
Unless the hips are moving while the hug is going ;)
>>17
It's body on body and it's between the two who have romantic feelings - kinda feels different.
>> Unless the hips are moving while the hug is going ;)
lol - that'd be fun! :D
>18
haha oh wow, My current gf would prefer hugs over holding hands in public... i guess it's different for different couples.
Looks like I failed hard on 5th base and have no clue about pace what so ever.
Oh well, she's not talking to me now
>>19
My ex didn't want to hold hands publicaly either... but it turned out it was because we were on our way appart. But at least you get hugs! :D
>>20
:( So sorry... but perhaps shell cool down in a week or two. You know how it is with emotions, it's like a boiling water, but then it cools. Eventually.
This girl took my hand within our first five minutes of talking .. lol. We'll wait and see if I get another chance.. patience, discipline, bene gesserit litany against fear, etc.
\0/ Good luck! (´˘`)
I have this problems, I'm a 19 year old asian male, my hair is quite long and i'm basically pretty thin.. however, I have a strong affection for black women. I am not talking about the stereotypical black women that talks loudly, I'm speaking about black women that act more white than black.
Where would I find them?
If she likes you and wants you to kiss her, anytime is good. If she doesn't, no time is good.