Hi all,
I was very excited when I saw this thread as I'm a black woman from NY (I live in CA now) who is interested in dating asian men. I'm am older (39), not loud never really fit into the "black culture" of NY which seemed to dictate that if you are black then you had to date black. I never bought into that way of thinking. My parents are from South America so although I grew up in Brooklyn, we were raised a bit differently from black Americans from say the south or native to NY. Anyway, I love anime, manga and even before getting into that, I had a great respect for Japanese culture and found it fascinating.
What is troubling for me is that the world seems to have a perception of US black females as being loud and ghetto, when many black women are not like that. We're educated, cultured, well read, nice. What is shown on TV isn't always the way it is. I think that is what makes people in general of other cultures shy away from Black Americans. Let me rephrase, either they shy away or they want to be ghettofied because they see hip-hop etc and expect everyone black to act that way. My 4 year old's father is white and I remember when we were engaged that he would talk to me in this BET style, like that's what I would relate to, when he knew from when we met that I wasn't like that.
As for the attitude,some people get frightened by the "strong black woman". It's not that black women want to intimidate, it's just that due to how life can be here in the US, especially in the cities, black women have had to be stronger. We have to pull ourselves up sometimes without family support or if there are children involved, we have to be mom and dad. Many times you feel like everyone looks down on you because of race. That feeling really, really sucks for lack of a better word. I remember being told or reading somewhere that if you are a woman, you had it hard in terms of work and society, but if you were a black woman, you could just about forget about it. You didn't have a chance. As a black woman you have to work 3x as hard to prove yourself.
I do have a question: why is it that men of different races want a black woman who looks white? Is there something wrong with black women who look black?
Anyway, sorry for the long post. Just wanted to add my 2cents.
To the OP, I think someone further up mentioned colleges, anime conventions, and even in the "ghetto" areas you may find a nice girl..I was out there so I'll assume that there are other young black women of substance. Also, I'd suggest clubs such as the Meetups. I know that here in San Diego, there are Japanese meetups, Anime meetups, as well as other interest Meetups. Try checking those out. Good Luck
Oh yeah, I have one more question: Do you all know if older Japanese men around my age are interested in black women or is dating a black woman something that the younger set would more easily embrace? I had read that Arthel Neville (I don't know if you all would know who she is) is married to a Japanese man who is rather hot. He is a drummer who has worked with her father Art Neville of the Neville Brothers. Anyway, I thought after reading about them, that if she can meet a nice Japanese man, why couldn't I.