spare his feelings from what? Being hurt? Well try to look at the bigger picture then. Being told that you are not interested in a romantic relationship, and there is a strong chance you will not change your mind is far less painful than being told "you'd like to be friends." The first response can be gotten over in a week or two, maybe even quicker if he has enough since to find another girl. The second just drags out longer and longer.
I got my impression from life. Both from highschool, college, and the real world. Girls can get cool guys much easier than guys can get cool girls. If you deny this, I question what planet you live on. Of course, yeah, it is hard to find "great guys" if by great you mean some built johnny dep character with lots of money and no flaws. Yeah, good luck with that.
lol! who brought standards into this? Is that your own low self esteem asserting itself? Look, I'm just saying have some sympathy for the guy. Lol, no, the guy was totally in the wrong for not moving along. But come on, you were probably the first girl in a long time that he had some stuff in common with that was not single. Sure, the guy was a spazz for making such a big deal out of you but you were probably quite the rare person in his life so he blew you out of proportion. Lol, girls are the only people that will look down on someone for thinking way to highly of them. And it is true that this guy is probably lonelier than you have ever been. He has to be, to be pushed into doing something so freaking crazy and stupid. He probably wasn't born that stupid.
"Why don't girls deserve a guy who is smart and attractive and worthwhile"
lol, so I take it that this other guy was not smart, attractive or worthwhile? Romance is so sad, everyone wants "smart, attractive and worthwhile" and yet most of us don't even come close to making the cut ourselves. What a pathetic and sad paradox we all must live with.
"I hope you wallow alone in your self pitty forever"
I wouldn't worry about me. I don't have any trouble finding relationships. I only commented because I find it aggravated how self absorbed people can be sometimes. People never stop to think how the other person feels. I think the other guy deserves a little sympathy, even if he is a fucking dumbass.
I'm sorry if you've yet to find someone that appreciates your strong personality. But you are making it hard on yourself by avoiding passive guys. A calm passive person is going to be more likely to appreciate how strong you are. A strong man is more likely to be annoyed by it. You know, too many cooks in the kitchen and all that. But there are strong men out there that like that sort of thing. I'm not sure where you are in life, but if you are in college, go to the science and engineering departments. Look for guys that dress a little bit oddly. The guys with long hair or beards or otherwise dress to stand out, are the kind of guys that would love you. They tend to have strong personalities, and the logical side of them wants a woman as equally strong. But lol, they probably won't have a six pack or shave all the time. If you need that, you may be SOL for a while.
Just a thought. Hope you find someone.