Some time ago I've been rejected by a girl; she friended me. (Do they realize how fucking cruel the word "friend" is? How it hurts and destroys person's whole life?) I realize I'm a fool for not realizing sooner that she doesn't want me (or maybe not wanting to let go off hope by confessing sooner) but what's done is done, and now I'm seriously fucked up.
The problem is that we are still friends. We talk sometimes on IM, and we see each other at school. And, as it was to expect, I still love her. I'm very happy when I can talk to her; just meeting her makes me feel better. But at the same time it's very painful. I would give away my whole life just for being able to hug her once. I always want to tell something nice to her, something that would show how much I care about her, and I always remember that this is one thing I'm not allowed to say. After all these months I still think about her all the time.
I'm scared this will last, and I won't be able to move on. I figured out I should do something really violent with my mind, and that thing would be - apologizing & explaining the situation to her and asking to stop everything that's going on between us. No more friendly talk, she's dead to me, she doesn't exist. And eventually, some day, I maybe will be able to forget and move on.
(Strange that I actually want her to know how much I suffer right now...)
Obviously I don't like this idea. Once I make the decision, there will be no going back, and it looks in some way like chickening out - for that reasons I compare it to a suicide. And suicide is generally not a good idea.
Another problem is that it would be very awkward because we have common friends, and, well, see each other at school. So I can't just completely erase her from my mind.
But what can I do to stop being insane about her? Right now I'm just... dead - I feel like I will never be able to be happy again, and there will never be anyone that I could love like I love this girl. It won't end by itself, this much I know. Yet saying goodbye to her would feel much, much worse...
Sorry for babbling so much, there is probably no solution for me, just wanted to write about it.
One of the best ways to get over somebody is to move on. Try and find somebody else to go out with, even if you don't throw yourself into it fully and it doesn't turn into something special then it should help you get over the first girl so you can see without feeling hurt.
Even if you share friends, you can reduce exposure. You could even explain herr the situation, so that she doesn't misinterpret it. Once you regain your balance, you can again be closer.
The Cut Off has been the only thing that did well for me, unfortunately.
This is not intirely a bad idea. I had to the same to get over someone. It got to a point where I'm like "I have to cut her off". I never told her and just ignored, and while it was working something she did (she was looking for me very worriedly as to why I was ignoring her) made me like her again, though briefly, since when I saw her she acted like she wasn't doing worried about me. In the end we went our seperate ways and after some good time effectively got over her, so I was able to somewhat becomes friends. Now though, we seem to be having going on between us, though I may be looking to much into it AS USUAL, but we're in a good place. Not sure if the same will happen to you OP, but I might reccomend that you tell her to avoid that drama I went through because that left me utterly confused and delayed the getting-over-her process.
If you do tell her, then it's a good idea to tell her the pain she's causing you, as that is a good thing to get off your chest.
P.S. You can love again. It feels hopeless now, and that you may never be able to give your heart whole-heartedly, but you can love again. Just give it time.
There are ways you can fix this, but you have to be a good flirt...
Ask her out again. This time, tell her that you want to take her out for a good time. Smile, but don't be creepy. BE HER FRIEND. She must feel safe. She must enjoy being around you, or she wouldn't be your friend. If she tells you no, be persistent. Not stalker-ish, but persistent. Ask why she doesn't want to, say something like, "Oh, why not, are you busy?" If she says yes, make a mock-sad face and say, "Oh, all right, I won't bother you" and overly exaggerate slumping your shoulders. But afterwards still treat her like a friend. She would like that. Continuity. Let her know that you are still going to be her friend even after she turns you down, or even after you start dating.
But if you want to get over her so badly, then, yes, I agree with >>2. see other people. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy the company of others, even if you think it may go nowhere. You don't always have to make a relationship out of one little date. Just have fun!