I've fallen in love with a girl I met online. I never had any intentions of having a internet/long distance relationship (and I'm fairly certain she didn't either) but I just can't deny the fact that I love her anymore. She is beautiful (to the point where I sometimes wonder what she is doing with a pretty average looking guy like myself) and somewhat of an "internet celebrity" so I've been pretty passive by letting her lead where our relationship goes in an effort not to come off as another creepy pseudo-stalker. We keep in constant communication with each other throughout the day with text messages, aim, and phone calls, joking and flirting. We've even briefly discussed good places/events to meet (we live on opposite sides of the country ;_;.) My real issue though, as I've stated before is that I'm truly in love with this girl but afraid confessing it to her (which would essentially be the first time I've made a bold move since first talking to her) without ever meeting her will scare her away and mess everything up (as she is constantly being bombarded by this type of thing by her "fans")
I apologize for the poorly written, super vague post - I originally had something much more specific but didn't feel right revealing so much about her. She's a very special girl and I'm a mess over her and just really in need of some advice
Apologies, but I forgot to add that I wasn't even aware of her internet persona until a few weeks after I started talking to her and that she was the one who initiated our first conversation, so it isn't me being blinded by some silly crush, it's a real feeling.
1) She could be playing you, despite how you feel. This type of story is all too common, so just be careful and all that stuff.
2) I know where you're coming from. I'd been talking with a girl (Who was first a penpal) for about 5 years. After a couple years, I got the feeling that she loved me, I guess. After she understood I wasn't interested in online relationships (She lives on the other side of the world), she eventually found some real guy.
Thats when I started to like her, and blah blah blah.
Just a story so you hopefully know that my advice isn't pulled out of my ass :D Cause I know what kind of feeling you have, pertaining to this situation.
Anyways, I don't think saying I love you will be appropriate. Wait until you atleast meet.
Also, how you express your feelings does matter too, should you decide to do it.
If you jump out with "I love you", that's likely to scare a lot of people. But if you play it down, like "You know, I think I've started to like you kid", that may play better in your favour.
sorry for the long post! :P
You don't need to confess to her (unless she makes you understand that she needs that). More important is to show interest for her, and try to find a way to actually meet her,...
Frigid Onanoko advise to first meet her and then when that's over with you can 'confess' or whatever. (Un)fortunately, with relationships there is a very bodily aspect involved. If you love her you should be feeling desire to escalate and get to know her better, anyway. So get to work boy!
It probably creep out most girls when some guy 'confess' to them, unless they in love with him. Then its cute. Otherwise not.
It's good to meet up with her first before confessing. You don't want to scare her away. Also people do online relationships, aren't physically attracted to each other. So what if you do meet up with her but not really in love with her?
Make sure she's comfortable with meeting in real life as well. I'd assume she is, from the talk about where to meet IRL stuff... But still. Make sure she knows that your not that pseudo-stalker, and you truly care about how she feels.
Confess after meeting her. At least then you can get a good feeling for what she's like IRL, and she might expect it afterwards.
Keep us posted ^_^
OP here with some updates and information
We actually had a long talk last night where she had confessed that she had really fallen for me and asked if I was willing to really try and make whatever it is we have work. We currently have plans to meet up in December so I'm just going to play it cool and take it from there. This is a very foreign situation for me, but I'm quite excited to see how it goes. Thanks for the advice and sorry for the lateness of my reply, it really helped just being able to vent and read what I already knew was the correct thing to do.
If anyone still cares in a month and a half I'll be sure to keep you updated :3
I have to ask the obvious question, since no one else has.
Is she someone who I've seen naked on /b/?
Not to discourage you, or anything. Just curious is all. Good luck, etc.
Haha, not it isn't, but I could see how you might jump to that conclusion with the information given.
Online relationships takes 10 times more commitment and trust than normal relationships, that's pretty obvious, but most people do not take that seriously and end up being very unhappy after meeting their significant online other.
Honestly, being on the opposite side of the country is not that bad, as long as you two are in the country. A good place to meet would probably be an anime convention or something you two both have any interest in.
after you two spend some time together and feel is right, then you can confess.
Do not take
>Online relationships takes 10 times more commitment and trust than normal relationships, that's pretty obvious, but most people do not take that seriously and end up being very unhappy after meeting their significant online other.
too lightly. Also, when written communication is your main way of communicating, it's very important that you put as much of yourself into it as you'd normally do with normal communication via your tone of voice and body language. I'm damned glad both me and my partner have webcams, because I miss the little physical details a lot whenever we're apart. Like that cute, sexy smirk...
Don't assume too much, that's a huge problem any kind of relationship. Most people do bad things out of ignorance, not malice. They simply do not have the same attachments, associations and values as what you have, and thus do not realize the full extent of what they're doing according to you. Communicate a lot, both via actions and words. Learn what your different values and associations are, so that you can speak a more similar language (actions, body and words) and more easily translate what their words/behavior means. I really am not talking about e.g. French vs English, but the different associations and concepts of people speaking the same language.