We talked long and hard about this the past two nights. The problem was not him but me, and we are making small steps to make this better and both of us are confident that I can be happy and okay. At first he thought I had depression after telling him my feelings of all of this, but that is not the case. I have these ideals of what perfection is and our relationship was perfect for him but not for me as I was agreeing with everything he said, hiding my feelings, not having any opinion, I wanted to be like a stepford wife and it was making me crazy and giving me a trapped feeling. I certainly don't plan on becoming a lazy slag, but I know that trying to do it all is too hard for me and it isn't going to make me happy.

If I did not love him as much as I thought before, I certainly love him with all my heart now.