Well,...

Your case is pretty common, and solutions are well known. First of all, the kind of abusive relationship you experience happens, but not all men are like that. You did the only thing one has to do in those cases, dump the guy. A more experienced woman would have done it much earlier, and avoided most of the damage. But that's how you get experienced.

Second, you should really find a confident you trust and speak about what you posted. Since you don't trust men, pick a woman you feel confortable with (sister, friend, mother). Just spill the beans with her. At the beginning everything will be confused, but as you speak more and more about these things, the clearer they will become in your mind. You will also be able to exchange experiences with your confident(s), and put your experience into perspective (yes, it was a bad pick, but not all men are like that).

Finally, you need to start being more open about your feelings with your friend. Otherwise he will have a hard time understanding you, wich opens opportunities for misunderstandings to build up. So just relax and get used to speak about important, sensitive stuff with him, that's what a relationship is about, after all.

Good luck and go for it! Your worse enemy is your own fear, it's because of fear that you put up so long with such a bad match, and it's fear which may endanger your current relationship. Learn to dominate your fear, people can help you on that.