H.M. Workshop: Meeting women (57)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 13:15 ID:RNYrClLm

Every male(hetero male) wants to meet girls. Get dates. Get laid.

That's nice. That's fine. But I think you need to get a grasp of the big picture first.

Now I know we all get sic/k/ and tired of lame stuff. We all wanna get our rocks off, we all want all this and all that. Well..

It's like this see.....You have to know what you want before you can get it.

First of all, evaluate yourself. No matter how creepy, depressing, and depraved you are. You CAN get some girlies. Legitimately!

But first some ground rules:

Keep it legal.

Don't spend any money.

Be Yourself.

WHAT?! Madness, you say. Well....not really.

First of all you need to remember that girls are not some scary creature. They can't do anything to you but chump you out in public. If you are really cool, that wouldn't matter. Remember, some girls are just bitches. That's GOOD. That lets you know that you don't really want anything to do with them. No girl is worth losing money or sleep over. None. No girl is too pretty for you to talk to.

"Hey Hotaru, do looks matter?"

Yes. For a girl. For a guy, not really. Two arms, two legs, a head, and a dick are all a guy needs. Now...if you smell bad, or dress like a bum(like a REAL bum), don't wash, or are obviously diseased then well...that won't be in your favor. Girls HAVE to look pretty. You are the bee, they are the flower. Lots of fat guys and ugly guys running around with females. Think about it. Most girls WANT a guy. They are just playing their gender role. YOU have to take the initiative.

"Hey Hotaru, I gotta be rich don't I?"

Um. No. I'm not destitute, and I'm not a millionaire and not once has the issue of money ever come up. Girls do want stabilitiy and they want something enjoyable. They aren't looking for a job, they are looking for a mate. You can throw all the money at a woman and she still won't do what you'd like or make you happy.

"Hey Hotaru, I'm an XX-year old virgin"

So? That doesn't matter. The only person that needs to know that is YOU unless you decide otherwise. Most girls don't care. The ones that do are whorish and slutty and everyone's had a turn. You are what you are for a reason. Either your own doing or something else. If you really want to stick your dick in another human being. Fine. If that's ALL you want. Sex really isn't a main priority in a meaningful relationship, sad to say.

Sex can be good, fun and all that, but only if there's an emotional pay off. I'm here to tell you from hard won experience that if all you are looking for is to get your rocks off, then perhaps you should just stick to masturbation. It's more gratifying and less painful than just fucking a girl just to fuck her.

"Hey Hotaru, do my clothes matter?"

Yes, kind of. Not so much brand names, but rather you want to look at least neat and not color blind. Try to match your clothes, keep them clean and tuck in your shirt and pull up your pants.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 13:16 ID:RNYrClLm

Cont...

"Hmm....It's starting to look like clothes, money, and everything else doesn't matter."

That's because it doesn't. It really doesn't. There really is no secret, like that faggot on that show "The Pick Up Artist". Yeah you could do that if all you want to attract are shallow whores and tacky bitches. I guess the only thing you can really do is just live your life, do the things you like, and talk to everybody.

I don't recommend bars or clubs because the only thing you know off the bat about those kinds of people is that they like to drink, smoke, carouse with strangers, and are probably not the most moral of people.

Do the things YOU enjoy. Your hobbies, your life. I don't recommend meeting people at your work because you don't want to mix business and pleasure(and besides in my work the only people I ever had to look at were a bunch of mangy characters with assault rifles, and even now hood rats and ghetto mongers).

If you are religious, go to church. But don't go to church just to pick up girls. Go to church because YOU want to go and because YOU want to worship your God. If you meet a nice lady there, fine. The absolute worst thing you can do is start a relationship on a lie. Which brings me to...

"Hey Hotaru, should I 'embellish' myself for the ladies?"

You mean like an "avatar"? Most certainly NOT. In fact, I'd actually advise you to DOWNPLAY a lot of that stuff. Like, I never ONCE have brought up to a girl unless I really got to know her that I'd been in Africa, Kosovo, and Iraq as a contractor. Nor my job in "Urban Community Relations" when I still lived in Germany. They ask me what I do/did, I say "stuff, boring stuff...let's talk about something fun". You will not impress a girl with all kinds of bullshit. They don't care about that. The ones that do are no good for you anyways. They only like you for what you do, not who you are.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 13:16 ID:RNYrClLm

cont.

"Hey Hotaru, what are good pick up lines?"

Pick up lines? Are you kidding me? Let me put it to you this way: What if some girl came up to you and said "Hey Stud, did it hurt when you fell out of heaven?"

Sure, your dick might prick up, but think deeply on this. You are going to be slightly suspicious. You are going to think 'Gee, what does this girl want...I mean REALLY want?"

How about just introducing yourself to someone and making a new friend at first. No need to come on needy or strong. Another thing, don't plan the wedding and honeymoon halfway into the first sentence you speak to her. Baby steps.
Here's a flowchart in priority:

You want to know her name
You want to know more about her personality
You want to know what she likes
You want to know if she wants to see you again
You want to know when she can see you again.

So far, that's your priority. This really isn't hard or rocket science. Remember you aren't just looking for pussy, you want someone you can at least have some fun with.

"Hey Hotaru, does it matter how many girls I've slept with?"

That's between you and God. Frankly, I don't think quantity of sexual partners means a person is all that great. It just means they don't mind jamming their dick into a stranger.

Even if you sleep with ONE girl, and it's one you really love, then actually that's really, really good.

I've been on this shitty planet for a few years...I'm still in single digits. I've had a lot of girlfriends, friends who were girls, and female acquaintances, but only six I can say I've ever been intimate with. And actually I kind of regret doing it with THAT many.

Remember, sex is primarily for reproduction. Unless you are willing to reproduce with the other person, then I wouldn't recommend it.

Sex has become popularized through television and a skewered outlook on life. Sex is the LEAST important thing in a meaningful relationship with a girl. Whoever tells you otherwise is frustrated and has control issues.

The MOST important thing is trust and happiness.

You have to ask yourself this question: Do you want a comrade or a fuck buddy?

I'd rather have a comrade, between you and me.

Remember we are all going to grow old, sick, and we will one day die. Past the years of our youth, we won't even be capable of sexual activity. But we'll still be alive. Don't you want someone you can talk to and be with, and not regret spending your time or life with them?

Lots of guys I know have married out of lust, not love. They all got divorced.

I'm not married, came close once, but I'm not married and I never will. I never want to get divorced, even if it means never getting married.

Remember, you get married in church and divorced in COURT.

That's another good question..

"Hey Hotaru, does it matter how old I am?"

Nope. Gentleman's privilege. As a man, you can do whatever you want when you want it. Remember that book To kill a Mockingbird, with Atticus Finch? He was a late bloomer. Look at all these older guys with younger girls.

Men get better with age.

There are a lot of young girls who'd love to be with Robert Redford as he is today. But how many young guys would want to be with someone like Meryl Streep or whoever who was great looking once, but is old now?

Males age better. We can reproduce anytime. Females are on a clock. Don't sweat it.

Some people actually NEED more time, and those people usually end up doing even better.

There really is no secret to it, just be yourself. If you don't like yourself, then genuinely IMPROVE. Take a night class, go jogging, shave, or grow your hair. Whatever. If you can't like yourself then how can anyone else like you too?

But for a man, looks don't really matter. What matters is what kind of a man they are.

Think about it. Try it on.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 17:28 ID:G05CKEq0

Wtf is this shit.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 20:35 ID:Heaven

Okay, so men should have standards, but women should take whatever piece of crap that comes their way? Sorry, this reeks of sexism. Fuck, I wouldn't want to date a girl that had no standards at all.

Any of your good advice is blinded by the fact that you're a moron. And who the fuck are you to be giving me advice, anyway?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 20:58 ID:3ui6fEgj

>>5

You have completely missed the boat.

We ALL need standards, but some are different.

Men still have to be decent people. I just said looks aren't as important.

Men and women have two very starkly separate gender roles.

A female is more attracted to a man's utility than his ornamentality.

And who am -I- to be giving advice...

well, a feller who's actually had a few women in his life.

Just paying it forward.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-05 23:14 ID:9BJmVtT0

Some More things to consider:

Women like a guy who can be witty/funny.

I don't mean like a comedian or someone who just tells jokes and makes nothing but light of everything.

Women want a guy who doesn't take himself so seriously and can make the best of a bad or even just boring situation.

It shows humility and resilience.

Also, Honesty. Honest people attract honest people. Think about it.

For a man looks really Don't matter. I'm not saying everything else doesn't matter, however.

If you aren't an honest, decent, semi-moral, and responsible man, then you don't deserve any one good. Sorry.

Females are pretty for a reason. To get you to talk to them.

Remember this whole "male shyness" is a fairly modern concept.

And I'm not saying that the only women you should even look at are beauty queens. They can be shallow.

I just said no girl is too pretty for you to talk to.

How far you wish to go is up to you.

Frankly I think all women are pretty in their own way. You just have to find something you like the most.

Just remember, looks fade. Personality rarely changes.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-07 11:53 ID:9h9PWgX5

If the women "WANT" a man, they should put some effort into it for a change instead of expecting the man to do the work.

9 Name: Kurono : 2007-12-07 14:12 ID:bNlAiRp3

>>8 I agree. Hate that gender role that guys should have to do everything and women should not have to do much. I know that most would be willing to or are the ones that do it, but most girls should also try rather than wait around for something to happen. Everyone should make the step forward if they are willing and should have to wait on anyone else to do it.

10 Name: : 2007-12-08 11:57 ID:9h9PWgX5

Truth be told, I don't mind making an effort. But at the same time I find girls who sit back and expect everything to be done for them, relatively unattractive compared to girls who know what they want and make an effort to get it.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-08 12:42 ID:6Tsa+qv8

>>10

Agreed, it's a two-way 'chase'

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-09 11:02 ID:2ZioSS4y

Nice post OP, I agree with all those you posted.

I'm planning to become a single father, gotta put up an arrangement with someone to reproduce but i'm not gonna get married.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-09 19:19 ID:G05CKEq0

I agree with >>5 . This seems really sexist.

"Gender Roles" really shouldn't be rules to live by in this day and age. OP must be the type of guy who wants to work in a coal mine all day, come home, beat his Trophy-Wife for not having dinner ready, drink gin in front of the (Black and white) television with a dog at his feet while his wife cleans and his son does schoolwork on the kitchen table...

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-10 04:03 ID:2HAfzHU/

>>13

You too have missed the boat.

We can intellectualy and academically come up with a lot of "ideas" but we cannot change nature.

I don't want a Trophy Wife, I don't want to hurt a girl I love.

But remember, males stay virile and females are on a clock.

Don't kill the messenger, but that's just how it is.

15 Name: The Provider : 2007-12-10 04:51 ID:Heaven

>>8
Very true, but it'd take every person who's ever even so much as heard of Anonymous to bring about that kind of change. That, or Oprah. Maybe Tyra....

Anyway, I do think some assertiveness on both parties' sides would be more effective. However, myself being at a young age, I can say that it IS hard for both genders to approach the other about their feelings toward each other for fear of rejection or embarrassment. While it would be freaking AWESOME for girls to make a move and vice-versa, you're just forgetting the human element.

OP is rather cynical, and I respect that, but... dude, you're making the line that divides the two genders larger than it is.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-10 13:07 ID:6HKWkVO2

I must agree w/ OP; It has taken me several relationships to realize this, and to some people who are unexperienced as such, it may appear cynical and biased, but unfortunately it's very blunt and factual, regardless of the fact that it may offend people;

When you strip away political correctness and gentle unoffensive words and generalizations, these are some basic truths about life; That doesn't mean it's a pro-man, anti-woman diatribe, it simply lays down some unfortunate facts that people who have a rose-colored view of the world would rather not hear;

Having dated and been intimate with a couple of those described whorish girls myself, the thing to realize is that there is love and good relationships, and the OP is trying to help unfortunate nice guys who are seeking that good, right person that's worthy of them in a relationship, rather than sugar-coating themselves to attract the wrong female attention for lack of any other female attention;

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 02:25 ID:aeYdrGkG

Oh Gee Willikers....

Look, some of you who say "Hotaru, you're too cynical, blah blah blah, anti woman, blah blah blah, gender line larger blah blah blah"

I say: Chill the fuck out.

Sincerely, Chill the fuck out.

Men can be just as whorish as women. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be involved with a whorish woman. A woman who is intimate with you, doesn't necessarily have to be she's whorish. It's a step you took that hopefully took a lot of trust.

WHAT I AM SAYING IS:

Men and women ARE different. They are supposed to be.

Someone mentioned the "nice guy" thing. Hey, I think I'm a nice fellow.

You SHOULD be a nice guy. Just don't be a door mat and don't be needy or clingy. There are so many people in this world that just because ONE girl looks kind of cute or gives you a little more attention than you are used to doesn't mean that she's your life now or anything.

To have a relationship of that kind of a bond takes years if not a lifetime.

Here's the thing. Yes, I AM the Hotaru Maniac. Some of you may know me, some of you may not. I've lived a few years on this shitty planet and I can tell you this.

Girls are a hobby of mine. Does that offend you? Does that sound shitty? GOOD, because it means you've understood.

I like female attention, female company, and yes I even like the feel of a girl pressed against me and her skin. I like to hear her talk, and I like to hear her ideas, fears, aspirations, and the fruits of her education.

I'm not a womanizer, player, pick up artist, or pussyhound. I haven't slept with that many women over a period of a at least two decades. But every woman I've ever been intimate with has meant a lot to me. I'm still in single digits. It isn't about sex.

You're all just frustrated. There are no perfect people in the world, we are all flawed. Our flaws make us who we are. There are no pure, angelic idyllic girls in the world. The ones that come close are too rare.

Life is not an anime. Life is not a dating computer game. Life is fatal, hard, random, and painful. All of this in between brief and fleeting moments of joy and triumph.

I've done a few things in my day....I've been to a few countries, got to experience Communism in action(it sucks) had to learn a new language, denounce my native land(it sucked anyways), and do all kinds of things. I've had to sleep in a place where bugs can kill you(literally) in a shitty town in South Africa. I had to do a lot of things. This isn't about that. I can talk about guns, tactics, and bullshit all day long. I'm choosing to talk about girls, here and now.

Hard times make you stronger, smarter, and better if not at least tougher. We all get rejected by women at times. That's a good thing. Hell, -I- have rejected as many women as much as women have rejected -me-. Nothing wrong with it. It doesn't mean you aren't "good enough". It doesn't mean anything. It just means they weren't interested. Just like you may not be interested in certain people.

I LIKE the difference between men and women. It's a GOOD thing. Androgyny and oversensitivity is stupid. I WANT a girl. I WANT a female to dress in skirts, grow her hair, and be a girl. Just like they want MEN. REAL Men.

I'm not a macho. I'm really not. But, look...just...Man the fuck up already, okay? All of you. I say that constructively.

Man the fuck up. It's not a matter of moving out of the basement, it's not a matter of anything else. It's just.

Man the fuck up. Live your life, talk to people, learn, better yourself, and do the things YOU like to do.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 02:25 ID:aeYdrGkG

>>17

CONT.

It's YOUR life and YOUR time on this planet and YOUR decisions on what you wish to do with your time. That's why I say, there are NO girls out here too pretty to talk to.

Nobody's out of your league. Hell, what I did/do constitutes blue collar labor just about, and I've been with girls who had money.

I never cared about that sort of thing, I was more into who they were.

Get over yourself, quit trying to get some perfect girl, quit trying to be so needy and everything..

I'm a bit of a romantic. A romantic is a person who would like the finer things in life and enjoy what can be enjoyed.

Trying to control, rule, or "trap" a girl is just creepy. That's how it comes across with "oversensitivity" and "over PC" attitudes towards them. They don't want another girlfriend, they want a man with a dick and balls who scratches himself and will jump outta the bed at night with a gun if someone tries to break in and will work all week to give her a life.

That sounds bad, but it's true. I don't hide who I am. I won't get into here, but I use a lot of racial epithets all day, including the "N" word. I swear a lot(bad habit, really that's what it is a BAD HABIT) and I'm trying to curb that. I've had my run ins a time or two. But that's part of the package. I read, I work, I do a lot of other things too...

I'm a guy like anyone else, it's just my life and experiences may be different from yours. I'm not going to start a relationship or a friendship with a lie.

I may not show all my cards at first until they gain my trust....but I will never lie.

Neither should you. Don't stop being a "nice guy", but don't be a doormat and don't be afraid to be a person with needs, likes, and dislikes.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 02:42 ID:aeYdrGkG

>>8

>If the women "WANT" a man, they should put some effort into it for a change instead of expecting the man to do the work.

Here's the thing with that:

Don't project your own insecurities on the female gender to compensate for your lack of action.

Last I checked, flirting with girls and meeting new people wasn't work.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 02:51 ID:aeYdrGkG

>Girls are a hobby of mine. Does that offend you? Does that sound shitty? GOOD, because it means you've understood.
>I like female attention, female company, and yes I even like the feel of a girl pressed against me and her skin. I like to hear her talk, and I like to hear her ideas, fears, aspirations, and the fruits of her education.

I said this....but I'd like to add something, a qualifier if I may:

Sometimes, we put our hobbies aside for a while.

For the last litle bit, I've kind of not messed around so much or been into women. Took a break, and left it alone.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just....take a break and come back later. If you get all "wrapped" up and you start getting frustrated, then take a break.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 12:53 ID:6HKWkVO2

>>16 here, and I still agree with OP...

Many people still have a rose-colored view, and that's allright to have, but while we do search for that "perfect person" (whether or not such a thing exists), it's important not to be easily misled, which is what the OP is trying to say, and what I myself have repeatedly fallen victim to..

>>19 From everything OP has said, don't think it sounds like he has any "insecurities", and he's actively endorsing talking to women, just commenting that in our society it's become expected that men should make all this effort for a woman to be kind enough to bestow him the slightest attention in return... I know that way of putting the topic may not sound terribly "sensitive", but it is a fact with much of society today

And as OP wrote in post >>20, I've done the same; I do intend to find that right woman for myself, but being misled by foolishly chasing after any woman who paid me the slightest bit of attention, fawning over people who used me just out of my own desperation awakened me to much of the same truth; Right now, there are two women in my life, and I'm not actively pursuing either of them, as it takes time and knowing people better to start a proper relationship, not just one or two nights, weeks, or even months...

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 13:03 ID:Heaven

>>19
It's work if you're an introvert. Interacting with any people is work.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 18:51 ID:sLo/PR3r

>>22

Who's fault is that....really?

Gee whiz, man.

Just get out there and talk to people, I'll tell you this right now: A lot of people in this world already don't like you.

And the counter to that: "Fuck 'em!"

How is it work, really, to go up to someone and just start a generic conversation or just say "Hey, wassup?"

Making friends and influencing people...

Even if someone says "Hey fuck you, buddy" don't get all hurt just laugh at the silly bastard and carry on.

God...I hate people probably worse than anyone else I know, even more than you. I actually HAVE seen the worst of humanity.

I've seen little black African kids cut the belly of a pregnant woman open after they've killed her just to see what gender the baby will be. I've seen toothless Serbian women suck the dicks of French and German soldiers just for enough money to feed their kids or buy guns for their husbands to use against those same soldiers. I've seen ....fuck...look I've seen a lot. I STILL see a lot. Not just some "idea" or "concept" but the real deal. And trust me...if we are having a misanthrope contest.

I fucking win.

And ...that still doesn't keep me from talking to new people and just seeing what's up. How hard is it really? REALLY!?

You are the only obstacle to your goal. You are.

I'm not saying that there isn't anxiety there but....just..

stop caring so much about what some asshole thinks and start caring more about what YOU think and how YOU feel...everything else comes into play.

Be Polite, Be Professional, Be a decent chap.

Everything else comes along with it.

And remember...that "perfect woman" you want could be a million miles away....next door....next to you...or maybe not even born yet. You'll never ever know if you don't look around and just TALK to people.

At the very least you'll learn new things and maybe make new friends.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 19:27 ID:PLRVLUum

>>14
Nigger, just because you can produce sperm, does in no way mean you should keep using it.

Mutations in sperm are increasingly common when a man begins to age. Not only does that mean there is less chance of getting a girl pregnant, but when you do, more chance of it being horribly deformed in some way. In addition to that, have you ever heard of erectile dysfunction? Another disorder increasingly prevalent with age. Men, too, are on a sort of 'clock' if they don't want to have fucked-up offspring.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-11 20:18 ID:G05CKEq0

>>23 It's not their fault if they have anxiety issues, buddy. You try having a panic attack anytime someone glances in your direction, and see how much you feel like going out and being around people.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-12 00:51 ID:lBgNz1HD

>>25

Look, I'm not going to comment any more about it.

I do think a lot of it really is just in their heads.

If they want help then they should get it.

Otherwise merely whining about it won't help.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-12 03:13 ID:Heaven

>>26

It's in their heads the same way AIDS is in your blood.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-12 13:55 ID:Heaven

>>26
Who the hell said they wanted help? I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm introverted, I'm confident with the way I am. I can't say that even for some extroverts I know, who try and cover up their real self with layers of bullshit.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-12 22:09 ID:Mkx4z8x+

>>28

Then what's the bitch? If you're happy with it, why complain?

You can't have it all you know. Nothing falls into your lap, you have to find it and work for it. That's life you know.

>>27

No. It really IS in their heads.

30 Name: The Mauler Of Women : 2007-12-12 23:50 ID:PspiNo/9

Allright kids settle down settle down (flicks lights on and off)

OP has a point but let me put some bullshit aside right away...

>Sex really isn't a main priority in a meaningful relationship, sad to say.
>Remember, sex is primarily for reproduction. Unless you are willing to reproduce with the other person, then I wouldn't recommend it.

NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Sex IS a main priority in a relationship if you're a MAN (and to a lesser extent for females). Sex is NOT PRIMARILY FOR REPRODUCTION! If you were a lion or a bird or a dog then i'd agree, but we humans feel PLEASURE with sex. Hell if we didn't, then the population of the earth would be a FRACTION of what it is now. I could go into it, but that's for another time.

Heres the thing I want to pound into the skulls of ALL the guys out there.

WE ARE HOLDING ALL THE CARDS!

Men don't have to look good, men don't have to have money, men don't have to be young, men don't have to even actively seek out women.

why?

Because what women want from us are personality, security, and ALPHA MALE DOMINANT TENDENCIES.

what does that mean? alpha male dominant tendencies? wtf?

Do you know how to make a decision and stick with it? Do you know how to take charge of a situation when everyone is sitting there going DURRR DURRRR DURRRRR? Can you stand up to a girl who is making you look stupid, Hit her where it HURTS with an observation that would make HER look like a fool, and do it without getting mad?

guess what, you've got 79% of what women really want from men.

don't believe me? think about this.

A woman spends from 1-3 HOURS getting ready to walk out of the house (unless she's a slovenly whore, then who wants her anyway).

Whereas you might spend 20 minutes.

Why is that? because SHE is insecure about HER looks, so much so in fact that she has to doll herself up JUST to go to the store! you however, comb your fingers through your hair and BOOM BABY, it's time to go out.

yet in spite of this GLARING WEAKNESS, guys let girls PUNK them all the time. WHY!?!? she says something about you, you should come back with a compliment.

"STOP LOOKING AT MY TITS, PERV!"

"ya know you're right, I just couldn't help it. I really find your breasts sexy! Just one question, how do you get that right one to hang lower than the left one?"

did i say compliment? i meant backhanded compliment... my bad.

usually this will either piss her off, or she'll laugh. either way you're stuck in her head now. You just won.

Oh btw, you've all just lost the game. congo rats.

More as time permits. and questions come.

Mauler out.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-13 01:03 ID:yf2vplYX

>>30

Nice PUA shtick. What women look for in men is security. It's human to want to own each other; it's a guy thing to want sex; it's a girl thing to want stability. You don't need to be a jackass to get what you want (a loving relationship with sex). Just be yourself, and hold yourself to a high standard.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-13 02:18 ID:Heaven

>>29

> Then what's the bitch? If you're happy with it, why complain?

What, because I'm happy about one thing I'm not allowed to bitch about anothing thing that I'm not happy about? I'm fine with myself, I was saying it was SOCIETY that has the problem, or the WOMEN in it. Or at least the vast majority of the ones in Sydney.

33 Name: The Mauler Of Women : 2007-12-13 02:55 ID:PspiNo/9

>>31

it's not "pua shtick" it's "the truth".

women want security for the long term, but for the SHORT term they want EXCITEMENT. interest a woman without falling into the trap of being a "trick pony" and her panties will hit the floor faster than the stock market.

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-13 03:45 ID:yf2vplYX

Would any women on 4-ch like to comment on this distinction?

35 Name: The Provider : 2007-12-13 04:57 ID:Heaven

>>30
You raise some interesting points.
I will agree, women are extremely concerned about their looks, and guys are one-two-out the door.

>Because what women want from us are personality, security, and ALPHA MALE DOMINANT TENDENCIES.

what does that mean? alpha male dominant tendencies? wtf?

I think they mean being the leader of the pack, or the one who wins the "fight" for the girl. I think this got lost in translation.

>Do you know how to make a decision and stick with it? Do you know how to take charge of a situation when everyone is sitting there going DURRR DURRRR DURRRRR?

Yep, security and personality, in addition to SOME "alpha male characteristics"

More later, I grow tired.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-14 00:41 ID:TplQpdOJ

>>34
I would. I'm a woman and what he said is pretty juvenile.

Listen, >>30, what you suggest may work while you're in your late teens, early twenties. Many girls around that age are don't have any idea what to do with themselves - much less what to look for in a prospective partner. The 'alpha-male' thing, as you describe it, is dominant - but only superficially so. You give off an oder of being strong, coarse, and unattainable; like you said, you float around in their thoughts because of it. Most insecure young women are attracted to that, but believe me, the attraction wears off pretty quickly.

I used to like to a guy like that. He'd insult me smarmily, ignore me, and then acted like he didn't care when I brought it up. However, when I began to foster my own interests (painting and science) and my own identity, I didn't like him and his rude behavior anymore. A girl's attraction to you in these situations is very transient in nature - once she stops dwelling on you, you stop looking attractive to her. In fact, most girls with a sense of self want partners who respect them and are stable - they can have a dominant personality, but it isn't all a show.

In closing, what he said does work, but only if you're looking to pick up insecure bitches who you probably wouldn't want to date anyway.

PS: It's really hard for women to win here. If we try to make ourselves look nice in a way that's EXPECTED BY SOCIETY, we're 'insecure about our looks.' And when we don't, we're 'slovenly whores.' Does no one else see the paradox here?

37 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-14 01:26 ID:TGZGB+do

>>36

I agree with you up to here:

>> If we try to make ourselves look nice in a way that's EXPECTED BY SOCIETY, we're 'insecure about our looks.' And when we don't, we're 'slovenly whores.' Does no one else see the paradox here?

You are indulging yourself into the same trap as the mister nice guy no girlfriend vs asshole womanizer pseudo-paradox, which is surprising, considering the first part of your post.

Personally I like strong women, allways have. In the case of my wife, it was obvious from the first day we met that she was interested in me (couldn't speak to no one else that evening). She was very upfrond and earnest, which suited me fine.

Which does not mean that she became the dominant alpha female. Actually she would go nuts if she was the only one calling the shots in a couple.

I think in the end it's quite simple: the best relationships work because people behave as partners, with mutual respect. After all, we are both grown ups,...

38 Name: Ugh...the bullcrap... : 2007-12-14 01:53 ID:ItWBXxUI

Look...It's me, Hotaru Maniac once more.

First of all, >>30 seems like a real jerk. Sex IS NOT the most important thing in a real relationship. I'm not diminishing its importance but...I don't spend time with a girl if all I wanted to do was have sex with her.

There are things a female can do for a male, beyond sex, that just talking to another male won't accomplish.

First of all, women do spend more time on their looks, I won't get into insecurity or anything like that, but it is known that most girls want a quality feller.

So they'll take the time to look nice. Just because a girl looks nice doesn't necessarily mean she's insecure.

Looks on a male really aren't as important. We're expected to be kind of rough....

To me, any female who's healthy and has a little basic human pride is going to be attractive to me. Doesn't mean I'm going to want to have sex with them all, or even flirt with them.

This "Hey suck my dick, bitch" spiel doesn't work.

Girls are people first and foremost, and not just sexual objects.

I'm not saying I don't find girls sexually attractive, oh boy I most certainly do. They are just so....nice looking. And they smell good and are soft.

But sex isn't the main priority, the main priority.....well...
the main priority is having a girl I can talk to and be able to enjoy other things as well.

Remember....in sex, we give of our souls. Don't be so wasteful.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-14 03:03 ID:TplQpdOJ

>>37
Um, those two lines were quoted directly from >>30. It just bothered me, is all.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-15 17:26 ID:Heaven

it's that guy again

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-15 19:20 ID:ntmSFSIh

>>40

The guy that gives all that great real world advice that works?

yeah, him. Screw him.

We need more whining and go-nowhere, wheel-spinning moping and unrequited angst

42 Name: D.A.M. : 2007-12-15 23:22 ID:ckRTZwOQ

To op, if he's still here, I have some questions for you, and my secondary e-mail is perindeanskrye@yahoo.com.
I'd write them in this thread, but I don't feel like having to scroll through 20+ comments of pointless whining when I check on it.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-16 12:01 ID:Heaven

Of course there are far bigger problems than merely approaching women. Like in the first place finding a woman who you actually like enough to warrant trying to get. One who isn't like all the other fashion victims of the city you live in, and cares about people other than themselves.

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 00:49 ID:aUmHeJD8

>>42

I'm kinda funny about who I email....

Can you generalize these questions for me?

>>43

Um, wow. HOW old are you again? Gee whiz, you act like you aren't an asshole or something too...

Most people are jerks, nobody's perfect. If you are looking for that saintly woman who is just perfect, good freaking luck.

That's why you talk to EVERYONE. It's your time on this planet, and it's up to you to decide who you wish to spend it on. "Fashion victims" and "self absorbed" types are the least of your concerns. Usually these people make themselves known off the bat.

You gotta kiss a lot of frogs you do. Sorry, that's the same for everyone. Remember there is no such thing as love at first sight or anything.

LIFE IS NOT AN ANIME. You have to get to know who you are dealing with...that just takes time and talking to people. It's not like you're going to get married the same fucking day you talk to them. Gee whiz, man get over your damn self.

Don't be such an angry virgin about it. Just....fuck....LIVE a little man. Talk to people, go places, do things. Try something new or different. Make a day out of it.

There are no guarantees in life. Let me say it one more time

LIFE IS NOT AN ANIME. That's a GOOD thing.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 01:20 ID:Heaven

LOL.

>>44 is about the most self-important person I've ever seen on this forum, and that's something pretty fucking special on 4-ch seeing as every user is anonymous and thus prone to pretending to be a BIG MAN.

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 13:11 ID:5/0NMRwq

>>45

Um...yeah. I think it's kind of important to be self-important to some degree.

I mean...gee whiz, I have to live with myself, why not make myself a priority?

Look, if you don't like the advice, fine. If you find fault with it, fine.

I welcome and encourage cogent counterpoints and I am more than willing to defend my thesis.

However the brunt of it is merely me telling you to Talk to more people, and just get a fucking life. I don't mean that in a negative way but more like , really....Get a life. Life sucks, but it can occasionally be fun.

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 23:20 ID:Heaven

I have a life already, honestly. I have a few different friendship groups, and I was even married for a few years, etc, etc. It's not like I dislike life, I was merely saying that the women in this city (at least 99% of them anyway) are the scum of the planet, and the goal of talking to women starts to look pretty pointless once you get sick of their shit.

On the other hand, people in this thread seem to only enjoy calling others virgins. Which if you ask me just ends up looking like small penis syndrome. Not that I'm accusing you of actually having a small penis, I'm just saying that having a small penis and trying to look really big come hand in hand.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 23:42 ID:T2K5Ofzl

>>47

Okay, duly noted, but my question:

What's your bitch? I mean, really?

Virgin can mean a lot of things. You can fuck every girl in the world and still be a virgin you know....

You talk about having friendship groups(?) being married, and everything but then you say that 99% of women are bitches in your city and....like...

what's your bitch and dude, what's your point?

You say you don't dislike life but you come across as a Grumpy Gus.

Let's say, I had a small dick. How would that really bother me? It does what I need it to do and an inch counts as penetration.

Man...I won't lie. I have like, no friends. I got people I know, people I hang with, but I don't have any like Friends. like you know guys that get all queer for each other over sports games and hug each other.

And I'm pretty misanthropic, but you know...

that makes life more interesting and fun. It gives it an edge.

Sometimes it's all about coming up with goofy shit or just saying something that no one else in the room would think to say...and just...fucking riding it. None of that has anything to do with picking up women.

So again, dude, What's your bitch and what's your point?

Either life is fucking sunny side up for you, or it's nothing but owl shit.

Something tells me, and stop me if I'm wrong, but if 99% of the women in your city are bitches....

...then maybe 99% of the men in your city are assholes.

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 23:51 ID:T2K5Ofzl

Another Thing I'd Like to add:

You know, that's what I don't like.

Pointless moping. Like, just whining and whining and saying "oh I like this girl, but she don't like me"

Sorry, but I can't see myself liking someone who didn't like me back. Now I can be attracted to anyone, but liking them, much less loving them, and they didn't even regard me as existing?

No chance.

I'm not trying to harsh on people, but let's be realistic here.

You can make a lot of excuses "I'm too ugly, I'm too fat, nobody understands me..."

Look...dudes. Sorry, but life is not an Anime. It's not like where you're going to leave a note in her locker or you'll spend the summer falling in love.

Most attraction in male-female pairings usually occurs within the first twenty minutes. That's just nature....don't kill the messenger.

Either a girl likes you or she doesn't. If you feel you are too fat, then go run your fat ass around the block. If you feel you are too ugly then ...fuck..I dunno get a haircut or something.

If you feel you are just right, then perhaps you are.

I guess what I'm trying to say...is that the more time you spend worrying about things like this, the less time you'll be actually enjoying them.

Just...talk to folks.

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 23:51 ID:Heaven

>>48

> Virgin can mean a lot of things. You can fuck every girl in the world and still be a virgin you know....

Um, I think that would be bending the definition just a little.

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-17 23:55 ID:T2K5Ofzl

>>50

No man.

In a broad use of the word(not so much literal)

You really CAN fuck all the girls in the world and still be a virgin.

You've heard of "virgin territory", "Virgin soldiers", "Virgin voyage"

Like.....same diff. It's not about sex, I've tried to hammer that point home.

It's like...just living. Life sucks, but that's what makes it fun.

Things can suck so bad, that it's actually cool to be going through it. And it builds Character.

Chicks dig character.

Not stidgy "nice guys" who want to trap them and possess them.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-18 00:36 ID:PLRVLUum

>>51
Actually, considering all the dicks I've been with, I think I'd like a nice guy now.

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-18 02:00 ID:hS+MLNF7

>>52
What makes you so sure you know what you want?

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-18 02:09 ID:Vou3X2DR

>>52

I put "nice guys" in like quotations. Because "nice guys" aren't that nice.

I mean the creepy ones.

I think I'm a rather nice chap, but I'm not all possessive and stuff.

55 Name: The Provider : 2007-12-21 03:58 ID:Heaven

>>54
I'm in agreement. I'm one of the nicest guys in my high school, but... alas, because the other so-called "nice guys" in my school are creeps.... it's kinda killed my reputation. When I do something nice for a girl, I see it in their eyes. They're touched (even if slightly) but they're afraid I'll continue to touch them.... facepalm

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-21 13:24 ID:kV33y4f3

>>55
First of all, if you agree, you don't need to sage.

Second of all, I hate to say it but high school really is no place to pick up chicks.

There are nice guys and "nice guys".

My main thing I would tell a person in your situation is stop giving a damn what a girl thinks.

I'm not going to do something nice for someone and be snubbed and then try to do something nice for them again.

You get one chance with me...and that goes for anyone.

If I do right by you, and you take it for granted and kind of snub me, then that's it. You're on your damn own.

I don't have to take that kind of crap and neither do you or anyone else.

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-22 17:22 ID:Heaven

> First of all, if you agree, you don't need to sage.

http://4-ch.net/guide/view/participate

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