Thankfully, I am no longer that shy of a person, thanks to the wonderful people I have met in life, I am just using this screen name as old habits die hard. But there is one last problem I must face. My girlfriend and I broke up about a year ago. I've seen her once or twice since then, (she went to the movies with me and my friends, and she went with me to my homecoming though she goes to a different school) and at homecoming, I confessed to her that I desperately want to start going out again, as I really love her, not like, but love. She said no as she is a cynic. She had used the term cynic before on the phone, but I had no idea what it meant(I thought she was saying asinic or something) she explained that she doesn't believe love. Add to that that we live kinda far apart, and I can't drive yet (too young).
Help.
P.S:
One of the girls in the neighborhood recently confessed to me, (she wasn't my type, and I'm still going after the other one)
so I tried to let her down as gently as I could, cause I still want us to be friends as everyone else in my neighborhood are jerks, but she cried a little, and she hasn't spoken to me since (but we have the same bus stop, and it's only us two). Anyway, help there too, please.
Thank you very much.
As for the girl who confessed to you, there isn't much you can do, except be nice when you are together, but otherwise let her keep some distance from you,... She will need that to recover her balance.
About the girl you are interested in, I would say that instead of confessing to her, you should just spend time with her, and get to know her better. Not only will you understand better why she feels the way she does, but that will make it easier for you to spend pleasant moments with her, which is important.
I think that she probably does not believe in love declarations, so you will rather have to build a gradual relationship by spending time with her and avoiding rushing her.
...Right. I forgot to mention we dated for a year before we broke up.
I'm a jaded cynical nihilist who doesn't believe in love,
but that hasn't kept me from loving people anyway.
Good point,... It's not because you don't believe in mainstream forms of love that you can't be attached to other people, care about them, and wish to spend time with them.
I just copied this from another thread, but it is perfect advice...
>>3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-18 09:12 ID:xAkflxJ4 [Del]
I think there's a golden rule:
Never confess to her.
It puts a lot of pressure on her, and unless she's incredible sure of her feelings, you will get rejected, or she will feel really bad,...
A much better approach is just to do things that a couple would do. If she accepts to do them with you, it will gradually become obvious to her and to you that there is a point in going out together. Instead of speaking about your feelings about each other, just get to know her feelings about relationships, in general.
So don't ask her if she wants to be your girlfriend, just ask her to do things with you. This way if she refuses, she's not rejecting you. You should only ask her to go out with you when it's blindingly obvious to both of you that you're both interested in it.
i dont quite know what i am im dating someone but i dont believe in love, though i know that loneliness exsists... but i accidently thought 'i really do love her...' now i'm ascared!