Love Triangle... (Long post is long, sorry about that :[ ... ) (13)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-23 22:56 ID:0sryU00x

Well... not exactly a triangle, more like a V, lemme give you some intel...
One day, 3 years from now, i was in msn, a normal session, then, some one added me i didn`t knew who it was, we start talking, it turns out it was a girl i was single in that time, "oh wow, this might be my chance" i tough. We just spoke a few times, not going over 5 to 10 minutes, she didn't was online that often, almost never infact XD, it stood like that for 2 whole years.

In the meantime i learned she was single at the time we cross words for first time, over the time she got a BF, i didnt put too much atention to that, i was on another relationship that went wrong, but thats another story.

One of her random days of going online we started to chat, her birth day was coming and she felt a little bit lonely so she invited me, i obviously didn't trust this girl at all, i barely knew her, so i asked a couple friends to come with me, this was about a year, by that time, her birth day was next week, on Friday.

The week before, we start talking, knowing each other and stuff, she was nice, cute, a good girl, she had exactly what i wanted in a girl, to the every last detail.

Her birth day was akward, her friends staring at me as if they wanted to kill me if i get closer to her, and so my friends to them. It all started 2 days after that... we barely talked after her birth day, saturday just a bit, an hour in msn, on sunday i called her again (she gave me her number the week before, even though she didn`t knew me) just to chat, regular chat, she told me she didn't had any cake for her party so i invited her to some place to properly celebrate her birth day.

Oh man... Monday, we talked about 7 hours, 3 on msn the rest by phone, she was the one who asked me to call her, by Tuesday her BF was jealous, very odd in him she said, she just can't stop talking about me while with him. Day after day, we talked, ALOT, there was one particular day when we talked from noon to midnight, just... random stuff, knowing each other. I realized i had just fell in love with her.

Now, lets go for the details: her BF was NEVER in her brith day, other funny thing is, she had said on repeated occasions her BF barely talked to her, also, she NEVER recieved a call from him in her BD, so, letks keep going...

Things started to get weird, little comments like "my BF is so jealous about you because i just cant stop talkin about you" or how you like "are you in a relationship?" one time she commented "geez... my dad says its like if i had two BFs... i cant do that, its not fair... (moment of silence)"

We knew, you dont need to be motherfuckin Einstein to see i was in love with her and she already had started to feel something about me.
I told her what i felt about her, and she said she knew (no shit...) she said she cant have me like that... however i insisted, and she did nothing to stop me, and things where goind more and more romantic between us.

You know the core part of the story already, actual situation? Its a livin hell...
Shes so so so confused she just cant pick one of us, i am what she is lookin for in a guy, what she needs, however she stay with the other guy, but she still let me be romantic to her.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-23 22:56 ID:0sryU00x

Every time she try to make a decision our conversation ends in tears and pain and angry and sorrow and many other things...
One day she wanna finish the guy off and being with me, the next day she says she'll stay with him and so on... its so stressing

I almost become crazy this week, every motherfuckin day has been like that.
She want to be with her BF and also with me, she tried to change him, to me more talkative, to get more of his attention, we talked about her BF, how he treated her, and he agreed to change (finally, after she asked him like 5 times over the years...) hes up to change, and yes, hes trying, but "is he gonna change? for how long?" i asked her.

On Thursday she almost had a break down, the other guy and i just kept on callin her, to her cell, to her house, to her cell...
Yesterday, was one of the most akward days, both of us where thinking, we want things like before, atleast before this hell week, so we just talked, like if nothing ever happened, i dunno about her, but it was hell hard for me, by the end of the conversation we where chatting just like before.

The week before the hell week, she went to my place on Saturday, we cuddled, most of the time and... other stuff (dont get me wrong no sex, just the classic "tickles" game) however, we donot kissed "i still cant, not yet" she said.

I got lost writing this, my english sucks ass and... i want an opinion, cuz every time i ask her is she feels somethig for she says yes, "you made me dream, all the nice things you say to me, how you treat me, the much you turn me on, everything, i just cant stop thinking about you... so do for my BF"

It cant be a single day without us to talk, if i dont call her, she calls me, the only day i didnt call her i got like 3 or 4 messages in the answering machine and she was online the whole day, even when she was running low on her cellphone credit, she send me messages, good morning, how are you, you ate yet?, can you call me?, things like that... and to be honest, i dont know what to do, nor how to react... opinions? (sorry for crappy english again)

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-24 03:32 ID:OvCy5BMu

she is using you. fly you fool

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-24 04:45 ID:0sryU00x

she goes throught a lot of pain for using me then... she was about to finish his BF off, we where at the phone, she started to cry, not normal cry but like a baby.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-24 05:12 ID:x2GOPpj0

Look this has got to stop...

Don't hang out with her anymore. You're in love? Both of you, with eachother? Like thats the most awesome thing ever or what? Are you going to torture eachother just because of some feelings? In the end you will all just look back at this and realize it WAS NOT WORTH IT.

The two of you cannot be friends. Just stop seeing and talking to eachother.
If you REALLY care for her, if you genuinely love her, this is what you'll do. If she really loves you she will understand.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-25 01:04 ID:jBD11PTC

\kill yourself. It will all clear up after that.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-25 07:00 ID:OvCy5BMu

>>4
i'm not saying she's not going through pain. but she's using you- she's using you as something to comfort her until she'll be ok again. the moment she is- she'll drop you. Think about it, would she be so torn over you? why is she so worked up over him when you are right there? if you liked another girl and her and couldn't choose between the two, would she be as 'understanding' as you?

she knows you like her so she knows she can depend on you for comfort. but that's all she wants from you- a backup plan to fall back on when things go bad. the minute life turns around- she's gone.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-26 10:11 ID:VOkOZBy2

as the rest says..

just give her an last opportunity.
me or him. no delay. immediately, she'll have to dump him by phone when you can hear it. or you'll be gone forever.

I'm almost in the same situation as you atm -__-

take our advice even if you don't want to. or keep suffering.

gl ^^

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-26 10:28 ID:LVhlAgAH

>>8

I'd take this advice with a grain of salt: ultimatums are a sign of desperation.

10 Name: lil' fox : 2007-12-27 06:36 ID:ygqhMg72

Man, probably you loves her. Nope, you actually loves her. She may loves you, or at most, may be in love with you, which, in spite of the sounds, is very different. The oint is very simple, as they have been said. She have to leave him... or leave you.

The problem here is that she don't know what she wants. I mean in whole life. If she were aware of what she really wants, the decission certainly should be already made. I remember a GF I had that before we were along, had a BF... a serious one. He was law student (she was at school then, as I was). When she knew me, she just cutted out with him. As simple as that. Well, things gone wrong there, but the example is the thing that counts. She, before I asked her to be my GF, knew we were going to get along. In fact, I keep liking that type of women, just as before he appeared. She was a decided woman.

Of coarse not every woman has to be that way, but is at most exigible that if she have interest on you, she claryfies what she wants.

I think you must find the appropiate way. I mean, you know her better than me and you should know how to help her, because what she needs is help. I think you are able to forget a bit about yourself and place her in the position she needs to be for make a decision. She needs to see who is she and what she want from life and then decide.

Is a big bet, but you have to do it, or you'll never be sure about her feelings. Even worse, you'll never know about her will, which is more important.

Stay in touch.

a.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-12-28 19:12 ID:0sryU00x

Hello guys, OP here, so, heres the latest update...

Things took a very weird twist... god... im not able to put together my thoughs to write something coherent.
We ended up somewhere between friends with benefits and lovers...
Please, dont ask why, not even myself can answer that question.
Funny facts right away:
I went a couple days with a friend (a girl friend, we been friends for years, shes got a BF btw, and for the ones wondering if i feel something for her, no, we are just good friends) to clear my mind, i told her (the undecided girl) i was with my friend, and... oh man, she got jealous, BIG TIME.
"Go attend her, when you finish with her, then, come and speak with me, what are you waiting for, go with her" my friend and i were like >_> wtf... The time i told her with who i was, she just said "... i dont belive you" both had cameras, so i called my friend to say hi to her, the moment she apeared, the girl in question had a huge smile "omg... and i was dead jealous..." "omg im so embarrased".

After a long talk, we agreed to be... well... you know our status right now... "i feel good with myself" she said, me too, however i have new concerns, she speak to me with other words, other tone. I will write more but i dont think it be too coherent XD...
Oh, and last funny fact, i spoke to her the day after i decided to dissapear, i said to her "i think its time for you to think about this, what you want, about what i gave to you, what does HE gives to you and what do you need. Ill go for a while, and i hope you really thinks about this" I was away for couple days, then she messaged me "where are you, how are you, i miss you so much... im online, and i have camera, will you come?" and you know about the rest. Ill give you more detail if i manage to get all that had happened in understandable words.

Thx for everyone, i really really mean it.
OP out.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 20:20 ID:dXBytgna

Hello again, OP again, latest update:

I am a gigantic tool who's being used for sex and will probably end up being beat up by some other dude she hooks up with randomly on AIM or MSN, because she's obviously a crazy bitch who doesn't know what she wants and enjoys toying with the emotions of others. Fuck, "friends with benefits" is just another way of saying I give her emotional and probably financial favors and in return she lets me poke her once in a while. Somebody kill me, because I am not a man and don't have the balls to assert myself in this tragic farce of a relationship.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-06 23:01 ID:Heaven

It's kind of saddening that it ends like this. Although it was obviously coming.

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