> cold, cruel calculations about what kind of good you can do for her in the long run.
I think it's more accurate (and motivating) to say everyone is 100% selfish.
We only pursue people we ourselves interested in based on what they can do for us, even if what they do for us is raise our dopamine levels.
If a person was completely selfless, they might go around dating people they feel sorry for.
Do you want to waste your time with someone who doesn't care for you?
I wouldn't want to be a charity case, would you?