If I have ever run across a motherfucker who needed a "catharsis fuck" more than you do, I don't remember it. Un-tuck your balls from between your legs, put on your fancy clothes and go to a "meat market" club, talking casually with as many chicks as you can (not hitting on them), drink until closing time (without getting drunk) and then look around and see if any of those chicks you met that might are standing around outside the club by themselves as it closes. Find one and offer her a ride home, then follow her into her house and bangulate the shit out of her, leaving either directly after or first thing in the morning.

Repeat as necessary until you have developed the world view that women are all whores, and the one you accept as your steady girlfriend must first prove to you that she is worthy.

After that, all this bullshit drama that you took the time to write about will be revealed to you for the pathetic unmanly shit that it is, and your misogyny will make you feel so comfortable around girls that they will offer themselves up to you just to find out why and how you can have such a casual "bad boy" attitude.

Lo, heed these words and take them to my people, and abide by this wisdom for all generations, or suffer the name of "just a friend" for eternity, where pussy will be given to you like scraps from a table to a favored dog. So it is written, so it shall be done.

Amen motherfuckers