I Fucked up Several Times in Here... (20)

1 Name: Part 1 : 2008-01-07 05:47 ID:+mAlH6Q5

Probably TL/DR. Sorry.

Last summer I met a girl. Thought she was amazing, talked to her a bit, even got her phone number (though it should be pointed out she asked for mine first, and she's from another country, where asking for one's phone number doesn't have quite the "wow" factor as it does here in the US). Never called her though, talked to her online a bit. When classes started for the fall we talked occasionally, but not until November, when a mutual friend discovered my interest in her, and started getting us talking a bit. At that point I met this friend of hers, and while she was attractive, I really didn't think much about it- she was small and super thin like most girls from her country and seemed a bit on the meek side (as well has not having as developed english skills as original girl), while original girl was curvy (in a good way, no fat girls here) and seemed more aggressive (I'm a weak (emotionally) twenty-something. Still a virgin. I'm interested in girls who can potentially kick my ass, but not know they can do it).

Then one day mutual friend (male, also from the same country as the other two) mentioned earlier decides I need to start being more aggressive, so he pushes me into a sort of hug with new girl. I get away fast and apologize to her, but she doesn't have too much of a problem with it. I start to wonder about new girl. Then a club we're all part of puts on a Chinese culture day a week before Thanksgiving, and new girl talks to me a bit, our first real conversation. I also discover she's actually older than me, despite her size. Over the next week I talk to her, and start to like her more and more. The day before Thanksgiving I find out that her boyfriend (long distance thing, met at our school, moved back to their country) is my age, adding a bit of hope.

Following Thanksgiving, she starts asking me for help with english assignments, even coming over to me to ask when I'm associating with less than desirable people (anime fans, etc). At this point I know she considers me an acceptable person, at least from the friendship angle, and when discussing me shifting feelings, mutual friend mentions that her boyfriend is planning to break up with her. Fast forward another week to the end of the quarter, and the club we're all part of has an ice skating event. She asks me for help skating, but unexpected to me, she grabs my hand and stays with me, which is completely new and awesome and scary at the same time.

Then things get weird, as I bring my friend in (a couple years younger than me, but pretty much the ultimate playboy. spent a few years in japan, where the people previously mentioned are from, speaks decent japanese, and also has the worst case of yellow fever ever. been with several dozen different girls, and was even engaged for about nine months, during which time he avoided other women, so he has some sense of honor) to take a look at the school before he signs up for classes. Within a day he has phone numbers for original girl, new girl, and mutual friend. Around the same time, I get new girl's number.

2 Name: Part 2 : 2008-01-07 05:48 ID:+mAlH6Q5

As the quarter ends, there's a party at mutual friend's house. My friend doesn't show up, as he works nights, and neither does original girl, as she's at another party. New girl shows up though, and a bunch of us get drunk together. Next day, I drive mutual friend to the airport (original girl and new girl stayed in town for winter break. mutual friend just got back) so he can fly back to Japan. On the way, several subjects come up in our conversation. 1- New girl has a feeling I like her 2- She's broken up with her boyfriend, and now is the time to start making inroads with her. I end up not having a chance to see her until a week later, when she, my friend, and I go shopping. My friend sets it up at my request, but we treat it as just a friendly thing. However, two other friends who we run into conclude it to be a date, with my friend being a third wheel.

I decide to get new girl a Christmas present at this point (Christmas eve), but I'm unable to give it to her until a few days after Christmas due to scheduling. I still tell her I have it, and when I meet original girl a few days after Christmas with my friend and my sister (who is on the record as staying she'd never sleep with him, as she knows his game), original girl tells me new girl is excited, since she thinks I bought her Grey's Anatomy DVDs. I had actually bought her chocolate, but pick up season one and add it to the bad with the chocolate, and original girl finds out I like new girl (but not, at that time, my feelings for her). Two days later it's original girl's 21st birthday, so we meet up with a group including old girl, my friend, original girl's friend from Chinese class who is the same age as new girl, a japanese guy who is nicknamed slick due to his clothing style, and a girl who is apparently original girl's friend but also someone I know from a few years back (just met once) who likes asian guys. The night is fun, but almost turns bad early when it looks like guy from Chinese class is hitting on new girl. My friend pokes around, and Chinese class guy says he's not interested in her like that, and resolves to help me out. Later my friend leaves as we go to a bar (he's only 20), and everyone has fun. I try to talk to new girl as much as possible though. We have fun, and girl from a few years ago finds out about my feelings for new girl.

The next night is December 30. We have a pre-new years party at my house. Not much happens, but Chinese class guy starts questioning new girl, who thinks he's hitting on her, and tells him that she's still sorting out her feelings for her ex. Also, original girl, new girl, and myself talk about driving to Seattle for new years, but due to snow in the mountains, decide against it (possibly was a mistake to not go). Party is fun, and both girls say they'll go to one of my (married) female friends New Year's parties (said friend of mine is also a friend of girl from a few years ago) the next night.

New Years Eve is fun, but I start getting annoyed when my friend (playboy guy) won't clear out so I can talk to new girl. Female friend, my friend, and girl from a few years ago all know what's going on at this point. I do have fun though, and after girl from a few years ago does it, new girl kisses me (on the cheek, but it's still something). I take her home, and everything seems okay- when I ask to make sure she had fun, she said if she had wanted to leave she would have told me. Two days later, I get a bombshell as my friend (the playboy) tells me that new girl says I've been creepy lately. Now that I think about it, I had changed. Sometimes I'd catch myself looking at her. According to playboy, she'd seen this as a glare. I can only guess that my tendency to not smile as much as I should was responsible. I also suspect I may have been acting a little possessive, despite not having a reason to. I call her and apologize for acting weird, and we talk a little about school the next day before hanging up.

3 Name: Part 3 : 2008-01-07 05:48 ID:+mAlH6Q5

So school starts the next day, and I still find things a little awkward. I apologize to her again. Later I talk to original girl, and we talk about the situation a little. She explains to me that instead of going straight at her, I've been circling around in back of her- and she's been watching me do it. I realize I need to move back into the normal friend zone and then take a shot at her again, this time head on. Even then I'm getting the impression there's no chance of anything happening. As I talk with original girl, the subject of my inexperience with relationships comes up, and I end up revealing to her that I had a thing for her up until I got interested in new girl. As of now, while I would do anything for/with her if she told me she was interested, I can accept her as just a friend. But in general, I'm not really sure what she thinks at this point.

The next day (Friday), I meet with new girl again, and I try to act a bit more natural around her, try to get myself back into the friend zone she seems to want to be in (rather then the "i don't want to be around you zone"). Even then, I still have a hard time with it, but things don't seem bad. Nothing else really happens, but I leave school feeling somewhat depressed, knowing that I'm still going to get rejected. Playboy guy has at this point rather bluntly told me that was kind of going for her as well, but decided to break off the chase, partially to avoid drama and partially because original girl told him he was being a bastard for doing that when he knew I liked new girl. He also mentions new girl said he might have a "small chance" with her. And that she was a little bit annoyed that I liked her but wouldn't come out and tell her straight up. And that they had avoided talking to each other because they thought I was going to flip out (this last bit was promptly dealt with). Later that night I talk to a friend who's basically Rico Suave and he tells me to be myself, and not listen to playboy, if I want to get back into the friend zone.

So now here I am on Sunday night. I think I need to make some space between myself and new girl. I also need to be myself around her instead of trying too hard, which I guess I've been doing. I want to get back to normal with her. And I want to be with her. That last part probably won't happen. It's clear to me that she likes being around me, in a friendly sort of way. I just feel worried, clueless, and depressed about the whole thing. I know I've fucked myself numerous times on the road to where I am now. Now I just need to get back to where I was.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 05:59 ID:1kPG8uJA

oh hay Tolstoy

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 06:18 ID:9PuUIz+0

If I have ever run across a motherfucker who needed a "catharsis fuck" more than you do, I don't remember it. Un-tuck your balls from between your legs, put on your fancy clothes and go to a "meat market" club, talking casually with as many chicks as you can (not hitting on them), drink until closing time (without getting drunk) and then look around and see if any of those chicks you met that might are standing around outside the club by themselves as it closes. Find one and offer her a ride home, then follow her into her house and bangulate the shit out of her, leaving either directly after or first thing in the morning.

Repeat as necessary until you have developed the world view that women are all whores, and the one you accept as your steady girlfriend must first prove to you that she is worthy.

After that, all this bullshit drama that you took the time to write about will be revealed to you for the pathetic unmanly shit that it is, and your misogyny will make you feel so comfortable around girls that they will offer themselves up to you just to find out why and how you can have such a casual "bad boy" attitude.

Lo, heed these words and take them to my people, and abide by this wisdom for all generations, or suffer the name of "just a friend" for eternity, where pussy will be given to you like scraps from a table to a favored dog. So it is written, so it shall be done.

Amen motherfuckers

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-07 06:37 ID:GNunrHIS

I read this originally as "I Fucked Her up Several Times in the..."

Anyway, that was confusing to read. You should have given them better pseudonyms than "new girl" and such. But >>5 is right. Grow some fucking balls.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 19:57 ID:45y58EkI

Write a novel about your whole ordeal. Include a triangle, and have one of the girls be into you, just to spice things up.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-09 20:49 ID:9PuUIz+0

>>7

He could use these posts as the first two chapters!

9 Name: OP : 2008-01-10 06:24 ID:+mAlH6Q5

>>5
Turning into a man whore never accomplished anything. Doesn't traveling down that road open up the possibilities of domestic abuse and a general disrespect for women?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 06:39 ID:9PuUIz+0

>>9

I never hit a woman who didn't absolutely deserve it.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 09:33 ID:V+udI6TD

>>10
lol
they will come. When you figure out the girl you actually bet on in the end, is just a piece of shit after all, like all girls are in your eyes. Then there will be all that domestic violence going on for sure, as disappointment and frustration take the reins of your life.

OP

I don't fucking get it, why don't you just tell "new girl" your feelings for her? Ask her out and tell her, like on an actual date. And you can explain to her, your feelings are the reason you've been acting wierd, as you don't have much experience with girls.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 09:51 ID:UWoZKjg1

>>11

I agree with the latter half of >>11

Probably the best course of action seeing as things are going weird between you anyway is just to come forward and apologise, and to say that you like her, and that you didn't want to destroy what you had already by barging in all guns blazing.

Be honest with her, this is the best way to go.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 17:20 ID:g4JwbKQe

>>9

The point is to hang onto your sensibilities before you progress to that level.

>>5

was crudely written but well-said. You NEED to be a little misogynist to have any success with women. They are not innocent angels. They lie, cheat, and steal just as frequently as men and they have the advantage of crying. To borrow from 40 year old virgin, putting the pussy on a pedestal will never help your cause. As soon as you learn to distrust women, or at least NOT trust every one you meet, you'll stop being their doormat. Women don't want doormats. They want strong, confident men who are judicious with their trust

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 20:01 ID:45y58EkI

>>8
Maybe a musical instead? Or a rock opera.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 21:07 ID:9PuUIz+0

>>11

Thank you Dr. Phil. May you date a woman who emasculates and controls you. As for me, most of my girlfriends have been into the whole, "pull my hair and call me a whore" thing.

I have my niche, and I'm comfortable in it, thank you very much.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-10 21:07 ID:XLMt+Jmh

Next time give everyone fake names that are very different to each other.

As for advice regarding your problem, you need to ask 'new girl' on a proper date, just you and her. Don't stare at her, I can't believe this actually happens. If she does catch you looking at her, make sure theres a smile and plenty of friendly eye contact. Try to hold her gaze a bit longer than would be comfortable with someone who was just a friend.

Also, get over your defeatist attitude. Yeah it might be too late, but the only way to find out is to give it a shot. As I said before, ask her on a new date. Sooner rather than later or she will see you as even more indecisive and so not a potential boyfriend. If it doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world so why are you building it up to be a major thing?

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-12 23:44 ID:7131c3PU

Be man! Tell her how you feel!

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-10 03:00 ID:21s0+fbC

War and Peace makes more sense than this.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-12 19:09 ID:45y58EkI

Man up and tell her who's boss.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-18 03:51 ID:rNl6ZyKF

If OP even comes here anymore, and he's still having issues with "New Girl", then here's my simple advice: Tell her you didn't want to be too forward or insensitive to her "getting over her ex", which you had gotten wind about. Then apologize for Not being forward. Following this, Be Forward and ask her out on a date. If she rejects you, you can work with things from there.

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