I recently turned 23, and I no longer have any hope that I'll find a matching mate. Slowly over the past few years it has been made crystal clear to me that all women are either
1) Stupid or irrational
2) Randomly crazy (as in even if they're 'smart', they act insane at times)
3) Physically unattractive (nothing to do with 'hotness'. It has come to my attention most girls don't care about being in good shape and being physically healthy, they care about wearing as much makeup and revealing clothes as possible. Even women who are naturally hot do this, and it turns me off completely.
4) Childish
Even sexually, I have slowly lost my sexual drive to even go out and find a hot one night stand. When a girl in a cute swimsuit used to turn me on, now nothing seems to.
I've really ever been on a few dates ever, and all my relationships have been long distance and total disasters. The few local relationships I've been in have been short and meaningless. I have looked into online dating and joining various clubs, but I have yet to see someone who doesn't fall into the above mentioned turn-offs.
As I kid I read a lot of fantasy novels and watched a lot of anime. I fear that I assumed I would be able to find a well rounded sensible girl that is driven to be as physically, mentally, and emotionally complete/secure as possible (one example - "Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind" from the Manga). Now that I've aged some, I doubt that anyone like that exists outside of fantasy, even though I have worked hard to meet my high standards myself.
I have worked hard not just to get good grades, but I have worked on actually increasing my base intelligence so I am able to get good grades easier and easier. I have a very high GPA. I work out regularly, spending 20 hours a week either running, working out, or doing martial arts. I have worked hard to be as clear a thinker as possible, and am able to match any of my instructors in philosophical or logical debate (for example, in my symbolic logic course I got 109.5% out of 110% possible with a mere half hour of studying a week. The one question I got wrong, I double checked on and I was right but I felt like a jackass arguing for the half a point so I ignored it. The class average was 64%). Emotionally I get along with almost everyone on a friendly level. I am almost always happy - nothing really gets me annoyed, angry or sad and it always confuses me how small things can make others emotional. However, recently I have felt a slight and steady depression (hence this post)
tl/dr: I have worked hard and slowly have become a conceited jerk with high opinion of myself, but conversely I have only driven myself into loneliness and quasi-depression. My standards are way too high, and they aren't exactly the type of thing that can be consciously controlled. I used to distract myself most of the time by being busy and distracted, but lately I've become lackluster in my pursuits and most of my friends are on vacation which has resulted in having tons of time to realize how alone I am.
Anyone been through anything like this? Any suggestions? I'm considering learning another language and going abroad for a year or two as an English teacher, but that's basically only a way to escape the responsibilities of life. I'm kinda aimless now.
/rant