People keep leaving me (7)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 00:18 ID:S3RHsFdj

I'm a 21 year-old male who, despite being (what I think) handsome, confident, and overall fucking awesome, has a massive curse that has left me brutally cynical when it comes to relationships and intimacy.

Every person I have ever been in a relationship with- every single one- has cheated on me or left me for another person. Not just left me or broke things off with me; left me for another person. Not a single exception. Seriously, all 4 break-ups I have experienced in my young life has ended with "I'm sorry... but... I've found someone else" (except in 1 exception, where I only found out 2 weeks after the fact that she was boinkin' a good friend of mine).

What the HELL is a man doing that would cause every woman and man he has ever loved to do this to him? I do have SOME brainstorms: in the past I have been very needy and clingy, and maybe a little domineering... I admit that quite clearly, and indeed I have some history of mental illness that has caused some instability (and times where I frustrate and frighten my partner)... but what is it about me that instead of breaking up with me, each one has felt the need to cheat or leave me for another person (2 out of 4 times to a person who I was also close with)?

And those are just my RELATIONSHIPS... 3 out of 5 fuckbuddies I've had also broke things off with "I'm sorry, but I've found someone I want to be in a relationship with..." Yeah, that makes me feel a LOT better. Treat me like a fuck toy.

What could I be doing to bring this upon myself?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 00:36 ID:r29bU3gz

First off, what the hell do you expect from having fuckbuddy relationships? That's how they work, stop crying about those.

However, as for regular relationships, I feel for you. I'd say by far the most likely reason is that you've just had bad luck. I mean, come on, it's presumptuous to think that you have some sort of mental control that works so well that EVERY girl you date will be FORCED into cheating on you or falling in love with another man!

That's not how things work, they have their own lives and trust me - women are complex and crazy enough you'll never have any sort of control over them. Maybe your clinginess raises the chance of this happening, and it's likely you're attracted to the type of girl who might not be the most loyal (the fact you've had more fuckbuddies than real relationships kinda suggests this)- but really, you've just had bad luck man. I used to think pretty crazy things like this too, but after a few more years and a handful more dates, it became apparent I was just looking too deeply into things.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 03:42 ID:mfPTDW85

Being clingy, needy, and submissive are the fastest way to drive a girl away. All 4 of those girls left you because they lost interest in you, or because they're attention whore psycho bitches you shouldn't be dating in the first place.

Here's what you do: Everything you do in a relationship should be about making her more interested in you. Confidence is good. Being funny is even better. Being mysterious could help, but only to a certain extent. Basically, YOU want to be the one who's hard to get. Even if you sit in the basement and twiddle your thumbs 16 hours a day, you're too busy to see her tonight or tommorow, so how about the day after that instead? Compliments should be sincere but no more than twice a date. If she compliments you, press her about it.
"Oh that's a cool jacket."
"Really? What's cool about it, I picked it up from Goodwill."

"I love you."
"How much?" or "I know."

Girls test whether or not men are suitable for long term relationships based on how easy it is to "conquer" them. A guy who calls her everyday, waits on her hand and foot, and is indecisive or asks permission for everything, is "conquered", so she moves on. Guys who can't be tamed or easily conquered (see: assholes and bad boys) are more attractive. You don't need to drink or smoke or break the law, just have the same qualities as those bad boys. Independent. Confident. Unconquerable.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 12:30 ID:Heaven

Ironically it's the conquerable ones which are probably more suited to long-term relationships.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 16:34 ID:mfPTDW85

>>4

Yeah, where the women make the rules and keep the man on a tight leash. If you want to be your girlfriend's or wife's stooge, fine. I'll be hitting the town with my friends for pool and drinking while you cuddle up next to her to watch American Idol.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-15 18:08 ID:Heaven

>>5
Not American Idol, but the cuddling thing is good enough for me.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-01-16 14:50 ID:Heaven

It seems the topic has changed. Before it was "girls find an agreeable guy unattractive because she thinks he won't be suitable." Now it is "guys find being agreeable to be a pain." The truth is finally out.

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